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| Purple Monkeys |
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| You Better Be Good Or The Purple Monkey's Will Get You! |
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| Clutz450: You want to hear the story about the purple monkeys? bez22: sure Clutz450: Its kinda long so justt pay attention bez22: okey dokey Clutz450: Well you remember when the space program first came out and they needed test subjects to go into space to test out if humans can survive space? bez22: sure Clutz450: Well they would send thousands of monkeys into outerspace but would never bring them back to Earth because they figured they are only monkeys and it would cost too much money to bring them back bez22: aww, that's sad *pout* Clutz450: So they all figured that the monkeys just died in outer space. Clutz450: But they didn't bez22: ahh. . . Clutz450: They all happened to land on this strange planet that for some reason no one discovered yet Clutz450: This planet’s atmosphere had strange effects on the monkeys bez22: uh huh Clutz450: It made the monkeys extremely smart. 100 times smarter than the smartest human that ever lived on Earth bez22: *nods* bez22: I'm guessing it also turned em purple. . bez22: hence the name Clutz450: These monkeys built huge elaborate cities and were able to build a very successful civilization within weeks bez22: *nods* Clutz450: The atmosphere also turned them purple bez22: uh huh Clutz450: Hey don't jump ahead or I will get them to kill you bez22: oh ok. . . sorry sorry Clutz450: The atmosphere also had other weird effects Clutz450: They were somehow able to regrow any lost body parts within 24 hours Clutz450: And also made them very very horny Clutz450: They could not go one day without having sex like 100 times a day bez22: haha Clutz450: So that planet was populated with almost 5 times the amount of the people that we have on Earth bez22: messy Clutz450: But there was one other effect that the atmosphere had that would almost destroy there civilization bez22: . . . Clutz450: Every March 31 the moon would be in a position so close to the planet and the light coming from it and going through the atmosphere did something very bizarre to the monkeys Clutz450: It would make their penis and only there penis disappear bez22: *raises eyebrows* bez22: ah hah Clutz450: Now that’s not really a problem being that they would grow it back in a day but they cannot go one day without having sex Clutz450: So a lot of them would go insane killing every monkey in sight Clutz450: Their planet would be in total chaos. bez22: hehe Clutz450: that huge civilization is almost completely destroyed within that 24 hours bez22: uh huh bez22: . . . Clutz450: only few hundred monkeys are able to survive the day and grow a new penis and start the civilization all over again bez22: ahh Clutz450: Then the whole city would be rebuilt and everything would be back to the way it was with the same amount of population and everything else in a few months Clutz450: But every March 31 it would happen and the monkeys were getting tired of it Clutz450: They couldn't stand going through that torture Clutz450: They needed a penis so that they could have sex for that one day and not go insane. Clutz450: SO they decided to make a space ship and travel back to earth to steal the humans penis being that they are the ones that put them on the planet to begin with bez22: haha bez22: ahh Clutz450: They would travel to Earth and at night when the men are sleeping they would take their sleep rays and put them to sleep for a long time then use there purple penis remover ray gun and very easily detach the penis off of the human and put it on the monkey unharmed bez22: *nod* Clutz450: They monkey would then use that penis to have sex with their female monkeys all night long. Clutz450: And when they were done they would put it back on the human to use for next year Clutz450: But sadly some monkeys lost there ability to regrow their penis when they came back to earth so they decided to stay on earth and just use the same persons penis every night for the rest of their life bez22: haha Clutz450: Some of them even tried to disguise themselves as humans and try and live human lives Clutz450: But they still had to have that penis so much that the men couldn't handle it. Clutz450: Didn't you ever wonder why Lorana Bobit just had to cut of John Bobits penis. Clutz450: She was a purple monkey Clutz450: She wasn't getting sex enough so she just wanted to take the penis for herself and use it when she needed bez22: ahh bez22: It all makes sense now Clutz450: And also didn't you ever wonder why men always wake up with a hard on? Clutz450: Its no coincidence bez22: it's all a conspiracy bez22: I see now Clutz450: The purple monkeys when they are through with your penis put it back and you wake up Clutz450: with a hard on because you just finished having sex with a purple monkey bez22: i figured Clutz450: And if you look closely at your self when you first wake up in the morning you might notice some purple hair by your genitals bez22: ahh Clutz450: So the purple monkeys now live among us using us for what they want most Clutz450: SEX Clutz450: The End |
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