Dragonball - http://maxpages.com/xdragonballzx/DragonBallZ_Comedy_Saga

Vegeta: Oh dammit! Ever since I came to earth life's been really boring! I just wanna settle down with someone and start a half Saiyan family. I need someone who's single and very guilible. I know, that blue haired girl that hangs out with Kakarot! BULMA!

(sometime later at Capsule Corp)

Bulma: Oh daddy! I really want a husband and a family

Dr. Breifs: Now, don't cry Bulmie! Everything we be alright! Stop crying! You're not wearing waterproof mascara!

Bulma: I guess you're right. It's such a shame to waste decent mascara. Especially the mascara made by Capsule Corp! Maybe I should start working on our own Capsule Corp waterproof mascara! I'm such a genius!

Ding dong!

Dr. Breifs: I'll get it!
Hello!? Is anyone there?

Vegeta: I'm down here you moron! Damn! Maybe I should put extra soles in my boots.

Dr. Breifs: Erm, Vegeta! What a pleasant surprise! Why are you here?

Vegeta: Believe it or not I'm here to see Bulma. I have flowers and candy and expensive jewellery.

Dr. Breifs: Erm, do come in.

Bulma: Who is it dad? Err, hi Vegeta!

Vegeta: Hello young lady! I come bearing gifts of good quality.

Bulma: Errr, I don't accept anything from you anymore. Not since you gave Puar that bottle of milk with marowana in it.

Vegeta: I think that the lil blue cat looks better all disorientated.

(everyone stares at Vegeta)

Vegeta: OK, so I'm not used to being a good guy, but, I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE! I'M SOOO LONELY!!!!!

Bulma: There, there Vegeta! I've been feeling the same way! Come ere and gimme a hug!

Vegeta: WOW! The closest I've ever been to a woman before is Freiza. This feels sooo nice.

Bulma: Let's go on a date! I'll provide the car!

Vegeta: Wouldn't you rather fly?

Bulma: Yeah, please, if ya don't mind!

Dr. Breifs: Err Bulma. This ain't such a good idea.

Bulma: C'mon dad! It's not every day that ya get a chance to marry royalty!

Dr. Breifs: Good point! Ta ta! Have fun!

Vegeta: I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over sideways and under on a magic Saiyan ride!

Bulma: A whole new Vegeta! A really nice guy I never knew. And now I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, Vegeta I'm the right girl for.......

Both: Youuuuuuuu.

(The song is from Aladdin. D'uh)

Vegeta! And Bulma!? Will it work out? And where the heck is Vegeta taking Bulma? All will be revealed in the next exciting episode of Dragonball Z!

*************************************************************************

In our last episode, Vegeta was taking Bulma on a date (?!)
Let's see what happens.........

Vegeta: Almost there babe.

Bulma: Where?

Vegeta: The place that makes me feel happy. THE PARK!

Bulma: Wait! The park isn't open now. It's dark!

Vegeta: Who says it's not open? It takes more than a gate to stop me!

Bulma: Oh! How dreamy!

(Vegeta lands in park)

Vegeta: Now, let's go and sit by the lake under that weeping willow.

Bulma:

(they sit under the tree)

Park Keeper: Oi! It's after closing time you varmits! Git offa my property!

(Vegeta zaps the Park Keeper with a short, quick ki blast)

Vegeta: Now then, where were we. Ah yes! We were looking at the stars!

Bulma: I can see a bunny rabbit!

Vegeta: I can see the Big Dipper!

Bulma: I can see the North Star!

Vegeta: I can see myself and you embracing each other!

Bulma: Where, o mighty Saiyan prince?

(at this point, Vegeta kisses Bulma, grabs her and....erm..... ya'll know what happens next.)

Bulma: Gimme some lovin!

(a week later at Capsule Corp.......)

Dr. Breifs: Sweetie! Are you sure you're OK? You've been sick all morning!

Bulma: I think I'm pregnant dad.

Dr. Breifs: WHAT!!!!!??????

Bulma: We won't know for sure until I do a pregnancy test.

(sometime later....)

Bulma: DADDY! OH DADDY! IT TURNED BLUE! I'M GONNA HAVE A BOY! JUST WAIT TILL I TELL VEGETA!

(Bulma phones Vegeta)

Vegeta: What the hell do you want? Oh! It's you snookums! Ever so sorry! What? You're pregnant? What gender is it? A BOY! WHOO HOO!
At last! I can pass on my genes to the next generation!
I'll come round at once honey!

(9 months later at the General Hospital......)

Nurse: Congratulations! It's a boy!

Vegeta: YIPPEE! I'M A SAIYAN DAD!
Can I decide the name?
(at this moment, Vegeta steps on a flower that's on the floor)
OH, TRUNKS!

Bulma: That's rather a weird name but from your history, Saiyans do tend to have pretty weird names, so Trunks it is then!

Nurse: OK, this is Japan after all.........

Vegeta: NOOO! I wanted to call him Oniona (word play on Onion). Aww well...........

(later that year at home)

Baby Trunks: Me want warm bottle! BURNING ATTACK!

Vegeta: That's my boy! A Saiyan right down to the core!

Bulma: (appears in dressing gown, bunny slippers and black circles under her eyes.)
Oh no! Not another bottle wrecked! That boy is too strong!

Vegeta: Just like a Saiyan!

Bulma: Well, don't forget, he's half human as well.

(Vegeta isn't listening as he is too busy trying to make his son learn how to kick)

Bulma:

Oh dear! It seems that childcare is really taking it's toll on Bulma! But Vegeta doesn't seem to care! This was a disaster waiting to happen if you ask me!
Ahem, tune in next time for the next exciting episode of.... DRAGONBALL Z!

*************************************************************************

In our last episode, Bulma gave birth to Trunks. Childcare really seemed to be taking it's toll on Bulma, but Vegeta was taking it very lightly indeed! Without further ado, LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW!

(at Capsule Corp, Trunks is growing up to be a very good looking (and strong) Saiyan)

Vegeta: Hey son! Come over here! I have a prezzie for you!

Trunks: Oh dad! You shouldn't have!

Vegeta: Here it is! Your very own sword, but not just any sword! It's an official Capsule Corp sword that turns purple when you turn SSJ!

Trunks: What's SSJ father?

Vegeta: Ya know when Kakarot, err, Goku, gets really mad in battle and he yells and his hair turns blonde?

Trunks: Yup.

Vegeta: That's SSJ.

Trunks: MY HAIR! GOING LIKE THAT? NOOOOOO!!!!!!! Chicks dig the do!

Vegeta: Don't worry. Your hair goes back to normal when you're done.

Trunks: Phew.

Vegeta: I also have another thing for you, this time you have a choice.

Trunks: Let's see dad!

Vegeta: You can either have this stylish Saiyan-style uniform made by Capsule Corp, or you can have this baggy Capsule Corp jacket. What will it be?

(Trunks grabs the jacket at lightning speed)

Vegeta: So, you don't like Saiyan armour huh? Aww well................ I guess he's not a pure Saiyan after all But I'll make you wear it evuantually .

Trunks: Thanks dad! This looks great!

Vegeta: Shut up brat

Trunks: Gee, what's his problem?

Bulma: He doesn't like the thought of you being half earthling darling. He really wanted to bring out the Saiyan in you. He'll calm down after a few days.

(at this point, Master Roshi and the gang come along)

Master Roshi: Heya Trunks! There's a big monster downtown and Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo and your father could really use some help.

Trunks: Can ya give me a lift? Oh, wait, never mind. I forgot I can fly! C ya!
(flies off)

(in the city)

Woman: Eeeekkk! HELP, HELP!!!! MY DAUGHTER IS TRAPPED IN A BUILDING!

Trunks: I'll save your daughter! By any chance is she attracted to men, single, blonde, no freckles and a Pisces?

Woman: Err, no.

Trunks: BYE!

Woman: Men these days.........

(in the heart of the city)

Monster: ROARRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Vegeta, Goku and everybody else: Shenlong!? Is that you?

Shenlong: I'm tired of being a good dragon! Wrecking time!

(Trunks arrives)

Trunks: WHOA! That is one bigass lizard!

Goku: You bet! And to make matters worse, IT'S SHENLONG! THE ETERNAL DRAGON!

Krillin: DESTRUCTO DISK! ENGAGE!

Goku: STOP! We don't wanna kill him or hurt him too badly!

Krillin: Why not?

Goku: Let's just make him realise the error of his ways!

Vegeta: Kakarot, Kakarot, Kakarot! When will you ever learn? Saiyans aren't supposed to be soft. Take my son for example, he shows no mercy and he can really kick butt!

Trunks: Awww, what a cute ickle kitty witty! Are you lost? Do you want me to take you home?

Vegeta:

Gohan: That's one rough Saiyan you've got there Vegeta.

Vegeta: SON! GET UP HERE, NOWWW!

Trunks: But father! The ickle kitty is lost! I need to take it home!

(Vegeta blasts the kitty)

Trunks: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

(at this point, Shenlong grabs Vegeta and begins to squeeze him)

Goku: VEGETA! I'LL SAVE YOU! KA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAA!!!!!!

(beam hits Dragon on the forehead)

Shenlong: That's it! Your friend is going bye bye!

Krillin: Hey Trunks! Your dad's in trouble! Help us out here!

Trunks: Kitty.......gone........musn't...... cry.........WAAAA!!!!! THE KITTY IS GONE!

Gohan: Ay carumba! Looks like it's up to us!

Krillin: A soft Saiyan. There's something you don't see every day!

Gohan: What are you talking about? You see my dad everyday and he's as soft as the fur on that cat.

Krillin: Never mind................

Vegeta: SONNNN!!!!! HELPPPP!!!!! I'M PARALYZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trunks: Sorry dad! You hurt kitty! Hurting innocent animals is wrong!

Vegeta:

Shenlong: Oh, what fun! A Saiyan that screams like a girl!

Vegeta: What did you say you overgrown toad!?

Shenlong: Ouch! That hurt my feelings! PREPARE TO DIE A DEATH UNWORTHY OF A SAIYAN!

Vegeta: If I must die, can't the death be worthy of a Saiyan?

Shenlong: No, because I hate you.

Vegeta: In that case then, I'm not dying.

EAT LASER!
YA YA YA YA YA YA!

Shenlong: OWCH! STOPPIT! YOU'RE HURTING ME! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'LL BE GOOD! JUST STOP HURTING ME!!!!!!!!!!
(drops Vegeta. Disappears)

Vegeta: Damn.....that.....dragon......made......me......lose....most....of....my...strength.
(collapses)

Goku: Yo! Vegeta! Are u OK? Vegeta!?

Gohan: Well done Trunks! Because of your stupidity, your father needs some serious help. And we don't have any senszu beans!

Trunks: All....my....fault? What should I do?

Krillin: Run away Trunks. Run away and never return (ala The Lion King)

Trunks:

Krillin: Good riddance! C'mon Vegeta! Hospital time!

Vegeta: Groan..............son?

(at the General Hospital)

Bulma: VEGETA! ARE YOU OK!?

Vegeta: Yes, no thanks to Trunks.

Bulma: Trunks? Where is he?

Krillin: I told him to run away and never return. He's a pathetic warrior.

Bulma: Chichi, may I borrow your frying pan?

Chichi: Why yes you can Bulma.

Krillin: Now ladies, let's not get too
YOWCH!

Bulma: Thank you Chichi.

Chichi: Anytime Bulma.

(meanwhile, far, far away)

Trunks: I'm cold, and hungry, and I need a shower and some hair gel.
Now what do I do?

(at this point, a squirrel emerges from the woods)

Squirrel: Why so sad?

Trunks: A talk.....ta...ta...talking squirrel?!

Squirrel: What d'ya expect me to do? Meow?

Trunks: Errr, no

Squirrel: Exactly. Now, me and my animal friends overheard what you were saying. So your father killed a kitty huh?

Trunks: Yeah.

Squirrel: And your father nearly got killed cos you wouldn't help him.

Trunks: Yeah.

Squirrel: And then your bald headed buddy told you to run away and never return.

Trunks: Uh huh.

Squirrel: Why don't you live here, in the forest with us, our motto is "Hakuna Matata"

Trunks: What the hell does that mean?

Squirrel: Dunno. It sounds cool though doesn't it?

Trunks: Yup.

Bear: Silly Squirrel. "It means no worries, for the rest of your of days. It's our problem free, philosiphy, Hakuna Matata" (ala The Lion King again)

Squirrel: "Hakuna Matata, it's a wonderful phrase..."

Trunks: That's enough with the song guys.

Bear: OK. Oh, how rude, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bear, and this is my friend Squirrel.

Trunks: I never would've guessed.

Squirrel: Come and live with us.

Trunks: OK, but DO NOT mess with the do.

Squirrel: You got it kid.

(the next day)

Vegeta: Ah! Thank goodness we found some senszu beans. I feel great.

Bulma: Well I don't! Our only son has run away!

Vegeta: Oh yeah, good point. I'll go to the police station.

(at the Police Station)

Vegeta: Hello? Can I get some service around here!?

Policeman: OK, OK! This isn't a fast food joint ya know!
Err, hello? Where are you?

Vegeta: You got a problem with my height buddy?

Policeman: Oh, sorry! Didn't see you down there!

Vegeta: Grrrrrr!

Policeman: Now then, what can we do for you?

Vegeta: My son, Trunks, has run away.

Policeman: Can you give a description?

Vegeta: Yes, he has short purple hair, he wears a Capsule Corp jacket, he has a Capsule Corp sword and he likes animals.

Policeman: Ah yes, he came in here with a lost dog yesterday.

Vegeta: Did ya see which way he went?

Policeman: He was heading for the forest, saying something. I think it was "Oh Kitty, If only you were in this dimension!"

Vegeta: Erm, thanks. Gotta go!

(meanwhile, in the forest...)

Squirrel: Yo kid! How about some grub?

Trunks: Yes please!

Squirrel: OK, we have acorns and some bark.

Bear: We also have some honey and some fish.

Trunks: I think I'll take the honey.

Bear: With or without bees?

Trunks: Without please.

Bear: You got it. The only problem is, to get rid of the bees, you need to heat the honey. We don't have any firewood.

Trunks: I'll sort that out

Bear: WOW! That is sooo cool!

Squirrel: Great, we got firewood. Now we need to light the fire.

Trunks: I'll handle that, BURNING ATTACK!

Squirrel: Trunks, you're da man!

Trunks: Yeah, I know.

(Vegeta arrives)

Vegeta: SON! I've been looking everywhere for you!

Trunks: Oh great, it's the kitty killer.

Vegeta: Your mother and I have been really worried. Come back to Capsule Corp with us.

Squirrel: No way pal! He's our son now! Get lost Kitty Killer!

Vegeta: No one insults me like that you overgrown nutbag! FEEL MY WRATH!

Trunks: FATHER, NOOOOO!

Vegeta: What's wrong?

Trunks: Killing inncocent animals is wrong and rotten to the core. Spare Squirrel's life daddy, please.

Vegeta: Oh, all right. Are you coming son?

Trunks: Might as well. Bye everybody!

Squirrel and Bear: Bye bye! Now what do we do for fun?

(back at Capsule Corp)

Bulma: MY BABY IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trunks: Shucks mum!

Well, looks like everything is back to normal. Trunks has returned home and Bulma and Vegeta are very happy indeed. As for Krillin, he's still KO'd in the General Hospital. But who cares about him?

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Page Updated Sat Jun 30, 2001 7:12pm EDT