Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/xando/how_to_annoy

Ways to really annoy people...

-Sing the Batman theme, Lamb Chop theme, or "It’s A Small World" incessantly.
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
-Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
-Speak only in a "robot" voice.
-Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.
-Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
-Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
-Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
-Name your dog "Dog".
-Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
-Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
-Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
-Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
-Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
-Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
-Make beeping noises whenever someone backs up.
-Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant.
-Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
-Begin or end all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
-Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
-Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
-To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down.
-Yell random numbers while someone is counting.
-Yell random numbers for no apparent reason.
-Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes, argue with the sock about who will pay the bill loud enough so everyone can hear you, throw him down and say "Fine, you pay!" then leave.

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Susan Roth

Pittsburgh

obliviongirl34@yahoo.com

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Page Updated Tue Mar 20, 2001 3:56pm EST