Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/xando/dumb_blonde

There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot, and goes and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly. They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York."

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that...
- she called me to get my phone number.
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- she tried to drown a fish.
- she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
- she tripped over a cordless phone.
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
- she studied for a blood test.
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
- she sold the car for gas money.
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

A blonde is walking down the street, and she looks over to see this brunette jumping up and down on the railroad tracks saying "21, 21, 21" over and over again. The blonde thinks this is kind of odd, but there the brunette is, just jumping up and down on the railroad tracks..."21, 21, 21". The blonde analyzes the situation and decides that the brunettes are always doing the smart thing, so the blonde stands on the railroad tracks next to the brunette and starts jumping up and down and saying "21, 21, 21" too. Next thing you know, the brunette jumps off the tracks, and the blonde gets pegged by an oncoming train.
The brunette looks both ways, gets back up on the tracks, and starts jumping up and down saying "22, 22, 22...."

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Susan Roth

Pittsburgh

obliviongirl34@yahoo.com

Visitors: 00179

Page Updated Sat Mar 31, 2001 4:08pm EST