Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/xando/Gender

GENDER WARS
or "Man Bashing"

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. - Henry Kissinger

Grow your own Dope. Plant a man.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. -Gloria Steinem

"I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That¹s what makes us so fascinating and not just a little bit scary." -"Sliding Doors"

Men suck. Women blow. -anonymous WT classmate

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened." -Winston Churchill

"Men don't care what's on TV. They care about what else is on TV." -Jerry Seinfeld

The difference between women and men is that women love their children. They know everything about them, including birthdays, allergies, likes and dislikes. Men are vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. - Dave Barry

An English professor wrote on the blackboard: Punctuate this sentence: 'Woman without her man is nothing'. The men wrote: 'Woman, without her man, is nothing.' All the women wrote: 'Woman! Without her, man is nothing.'

I have always wondered why men never or seldom help women work in the kitchen, but when it comes to cooking with a barbecue outdoors, men quickly grab the opportunity. Then it hit me - Men are less evolved.

The average woman prefers beauty over brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." -- Conan O'Brien

So many men, so few who can afford me...

Remember, Ginger Rodgers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards, and in high heels.

Before you meet your prince you have to kiss a lot of toads.

Women think they are so clever at faking orgasms... but only a man can fake a whole relationship.

It's funny...all over the world women stop working in the middle of a field, lay down to give birth, and get right back to work. But give a man a cold and suddenly he's 2 years old and can't blow his own nose.

Women's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it!

I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

If you take a dog in and feed it, it will remain loyal to you and never turn on you. this is the principle difference between a man and a dog. - Mark Twain

Marriage is much like communism- it works best in theory.

First, God created man. Then he had a better idea.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

There are easier things in life than finding a good man... like nailing jello to a tree, for instance.

Never chase after a man or a train - another one will always come along.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished... -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Girls will be girls, boys will be toys.

I married Mr. Right. I just didn't know his first name was Always.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

A woman's place is in the House... or the Senate.

I haven't found Mr Right, but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy and Mr Wrong.

Tell a man there are a billion stars in the sky and he will believe you. Tell him there is wet paint on the bench and he will have to touch it to be sure.

Some say a computer is a woman, if you do something wrong, they'll remember every bit of it. Some say a computer is a man, if you had just waited one more week, you could have gotten a better model for less.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. - Lazarus Long

If a man says something in the middle of a forest and there isn't a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady make note of this: One of you is lying. - Dorothy Parker 'Unfortunate Coincidence'

A woman who strives to be equal to a man lacks ambition.

If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send all of 'em?

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Susan Roth

Pittsburgh

obliviongirl34@yahoo.com

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Page Updated Wed Apr 18, 2001 9:07pm EDT