Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/wwflover2001/Signs_U_Watch_2_Much

- Every time you watch the movie 2001 you wonder why Flair never sued them for stealing his music.

- You wonder if the wrecks in Nascar are works.

- In a political debate at your school, you call Bob Dole a face, Al Gore a heel, and Bill Clinton a tweener.

- In your resume under experience you write "I'm the best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be"

- You have a turkey vulture for a pet.

- You buy the latest Sting album wondering how he can sing if he can't even talk.

- You suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn.

- You make the football team & instead of ordering a letter jacket you wear a Flair robe with your schools logo to class there after

- Go through an airport security line and you let them check everything except your boots...

- You pose in a photo with a few friends and instintively flash the "Four Horsemen" sign.

- You begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesistate to look for the crowd's response.

- You get into a real fight, and you blade.

- You do the "Flair Strut" into a meeting at work...

- When you talk to the boss, every other phrase is "Wooooo!"...

- You are at work, and accidently slip and fall against a table or chair, and wonder if you should "blade"...

- Your boss calls you in for a meeting on cutbacks, and you insist on talking about YOUR workrate ...

- You go to shake someone's hand at work, and pull back at the last second to smooth down your hair and say "Woooooo!!!"....

- Someone else falls against a table/chair... and you start screaming "You're extreme! You're extreme!"

- During someone's retirement ceremony, you are asked to speak...you get up and talk about the person's average size, average speed, average carpentry skills... and then talk about how he parlayed it into a great career.... you then talk about how he can't even open a beer anymore with his left hand... and then proceed to tell a story about a fat broad slapping him on.

- You scream at the top of your lungs and you don't know why :)

- You start off every conversation with " ooooooooooh, whata rush "

- You die your mustache blond while leaving your beard black.

- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back

- You constantly deny that Brian Christopher is your son

- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back. Afterthat, he backstabs all his friends and you let him into yourgroup.

- Your job is your gimmick

- Someone you work with leaves for another job, with more money, you accuse them of being disloyal to the fed that made them a star.

- A promotion at work is seen as getting a push.

- Your first reaction on seeing the Diana crash was "She's hardcore"

- Every secret is "kayfabe".

- You claim that your favorite sports teams were "jobbed".

- You call any kind of fan a "mark".

- You flex in front of every mirror.

- You and your friends develop a secret hand signal.

- You won't go into a pet store for fear of lemmings.

- You chokeslam your cat.

- You rack your neighbor's dog.

- If you feel the need to do a Flair impersonation before going on Space Mountain. (Has anyone here ever done this.)

- You never sit in any chairs without checking them (ala wwf bluechair) or wcw balsa wood chair; for fear your weight might collapse it.

- You tell your cat "Meow one more time, and you can forget the 'Fancy Feast' man, 'cause I'll open up a can of 'Whoop Ass' and see how you like the taste of that!"

- You see an American flag, and immediately cross your eyes, stick your tongue out, give a big thumbs up and yell, "HOOOOOO!!! Tough guy!"

- You dream about splashing your boss from the top of your cubicle walls.

- You win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" on it.

- You rate women on a scale of Chyna to Sunny.

- You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.

- You start your own e-fed... with you as the only participant, and then try to out-book McMahon and Bischoff.

- You buy your four year old daughter a Ric Flair doll instead of Ken to go with her Barbie collection

- You wake up in the morning rsing from the dead like the Undertaker rather than just rolling out of bed

- Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it.

- You buy a HBK doll to go with Ken

- You clothsline people in the supermarket for no real reason.

- You t-bone suplex your kids to bed

- You greet your in-laws by jumping around pointing to your crotch ala Syxx.

- You walk around with a towel on your head and you wipe your feet on invisible mats before you enter any room

- You shatter your knee-cap giving your friend a Tombstone Piledriver on concrete

- You're not embaressed anymore to go into a store and rent a wrestling video.

- You won't leave the bathroom until they play your theme music.

- You walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music"

- You walk into a bar and barge in the middle of a group of Mexicans talking and shout "Arriba La Raza!"

- You get into a public place and, for some sort of things you hear some people booing at something and you think they're booing at you and you start yelling at the people to shut up.

- You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count

- You start naming your pets after wrestlers. I.E. We have a cat named Kitty Kind and a new puppy named Dude Dog.

- You borrow $50,000 from the bank & start a carpentry business, & make all your chairs out of balsa & your tables weak in the middle in hopes that the PE will hear & subcontract out to you.

- You give the AA thumb across the throat bit to your boss when going in for job reviews.

- You wear Macho Man sunglasses during job interviews.

- For a Christmas present, you give your mom a pair of ring boots.

- You actually believe in your heart of hearts that the "Flair Flip" will work everytime he tries it, & cry yourself to sleep when it doesn't.

- You think Lady Di is probably really dead, but that Mother Theresa might be doing a really convincing work.

- You think John the Baptist Bladed.

- You try to convince your friends that regular sports are works, & wrestling is not.

- Whenever a limo goes by, you shout Woooooo hoping for a response from "The Man".

- You are late for work every Tuesday, cause you have to watch the tapes from the previous night again "just 1 moretime".

- You climb chain-link fences and do Superfly Splashes off them-- in your sleep...

- You find yourself singing Grab them cakes and Real American

- Your four year old gives the Superfly sign before she jumps on you

- Your first instinct was that Holyfield bled the hardway versus Tyson

- You keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches

- While cleaning the garage you find old wooden chairs and first think of Afa jobbing to Atlas and Johnson

- You buy your fat mother-in-law some yellow polka dot "Dusty Rhodes" shorts.

- A trip to the barber with your friends turns into a "hair vs. hair match".

- Your loved one hits the switch at night and you attack, thinking it's a "lights out Texas death match".

- You wear a robe and tights to your job at Wendy's.

- You throw a coke at Eric Bischoff/nWo and ......it hits the TV screen.

- You think a fashion statement is a black trench coat

- You come up with move named "the atomic elbow drop" which is executed off the 3 meter spring board at a swimming pool

- Your wife asks to try out a move on YOU after just seeing itdone on TV.

- Your wife makes you sit on the end of the bed/swimming pool to practice her flying cross body move since you don't have a real ring.

- You are talking to a car sales person and they mention leather interior and all you can think of is Hogan without any skin.

- You see the clown at McDonalds and can only think of Doink and Dink.

- Your wife calls you the "Living Legend", but even better when she calls you Jake "the Snake" and your name ain't Jake!

- You watch Star Search standup comedy acts, and say the firstguy had a good workrate, but the second guys was as good with high spots galore. Then you say this battle was a 4 star match, but Ed McMahon's a terrible announcer and the crowd had minimal heat.

- Before you leave your friends yard, you take his head and slam his chain link fence on it.

- You feel obliged to leave a restaraunt with two toothpicks (one in mouth, one behind the ear) and do your best Scott Hall impersonation.

- You win a fight and afterwards you start posing

- When eating someplace were you don't like the food you say "I snack on danger I dine on death"

- You think Godzilla will be played by Yokozuna

- You think earthquakes are caused by John Tenta

- You call the doctors office asking for ether Dr. Death SteveWilliams or Dr. Tom Pritchard and for a dentist you ask for Issac Yankem DDS.

- You think Elvis being dead is a angle

- You call yourself "Immortal"

- You have a fight but charge people to watch it.

- You start hi-fiving people you don't know

- After winning a fight you say "(insert name) 3:16 just whipped your ass"

- At a sporting event that foreign countries are competing you yell USA! USA!

- At a boxing fight you tell everyone to stop marking out cause it's just an angle.

- Whenever you see an african-american you give the nation "fist in the air" sign.

- When a female says she's going to put on her face and you expect Sting paint or a mask to be worn when they get back.

- Your significant other buys you a plastic WCW World Champ belt and you actually wrestle to be able to declare who the "Champ" of the house is!

- You buy colored hair spray and pick out theme music for the above said match!

- You play "name that wrestler" like you play "name that tune" in as few notes from their theme music as possible.

- You start noticing that the "sons" of guys you used to watch in the 70's are now some of the stars. (dory & terry funk)

- You vividly remember the first time you ever met a wrestler outside of the venu in public.

- You remember when both you and Arn Anderson had hair!

- You call your buddy on the phone before/durning/after any tv wrestling show and discuss it for at least 30 minutes in complete detail including how all of the events will tie together at some ppv that has not even been booked.

- You make vacation plans as to not to miss any wrestling if a tv with proper channels is not accessable

- Your three year old says "Daddy, let's play WCW"

- You spit out your gum and slap it

- You punch your friends, but stomp the ground to make it sound louder.

- You call yourself a "Jet flyin', limousine riding, son of a gun."

- You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason

- You walk down the hallway of school like the Bushwackers.

- Before turning off a light/TV/computer you give the sign for a Flatliner.

- You carry around a portable tape player for entrance music.

- You finish every sentence with 'Whooo!'

- You sit at home all day refusing to do a job.

- Every time you write an exam, you tell the professor that you're the highest ranking official, and if you don't get an A, he's suspended.

- Whenever you pass through customs, you tell the Controller you are from "Parts Unknown".

- You go from town to town, making new groups of friends every few months, just so you can shock them by turning "NWO".

- Whenever someone accidentally knocks you down in a public place, you shout "Come On Ref! He pulled My Hair!"

- At Sunday dinner, you only get to eat if you "Tag In".

- When you don't have an assignment completed, no attack your teacher/boss to get yourself intentionally disqualified.

- You offer a briefcase full of money to someone to turn on his best friend.

- You offer $10,000 to anyone who can bodyslam you.

- You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage grudge match could settle things.

- Your bathrobe has your name on the back, in sequins.

- You carry a 2x4 and American flag everywhere, call everyone "tough guy" and puncuate every sentence with "HOOOOOOOO!"

- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.

- When you do well on an exam, you stand up and yell, "Too Sweeeeettt!"

- After an exam, when the professor tells you to hand in your papers, you inform him "The only thing I'm going to hand into you is a can of whoop ass, son!"

- You refer to studying as academic "hangin' and bangin'" and you tell people how you "hung and bung" all weekend

- When your professor messes up during a lecture, you call him a "ham 'n' egger who only got a push because of politicalreasons"

- You demand the lights be turned off before you enter a room, then suddenly clicked on once you reach the middle.

- When you answer a question correctly in class you say "BANG!"

- You strut to the board and say "Whoo!" before working out the problem

- You write "nWo" on all your boss's overheads while he's not looking

- You have theme music while entering for your thesis presentation

- Your entrance music plays every time you enter the office.

- You see a fight in the street and call the moves.

- You nick your finger preparing your lunch, then think you have just bladed.

- Whenever you punch anyone you use your arm and stamp on the ground simulataneously.

- Whenever you see a ladder you climb it to retrieve the belt.

- Any Japanese or Mexican colleagues are praised for their workrate.

- You paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers, then come to work with a bird.

- Or... you sit around work all day with this "Gen-X" attitude...and when someone talks to you, you start spouting off bad poetry!

- When your at the gym you play your belt like a guitar i.e Hogan

- When you're in trouble your friends come out and beat the Hell out of the other guy

- You tell your friends that they are so sweeeeeeeeeeet

- When you continuously say one or all of the following: whoooo, tooo sweeeet, that's the bottom line, extreme, oooooh yeah, and many different uses of the word weasel.

- Can you remember the last time you didn't watch wrestling on Monday night?

- You make your own championship belt out of cardboard and glitter and wear it everywhere you go.

- You do a "Jerry Lawler entrance" i.e. turn the lightsoff, and when they come back on your in the room............at a dance.

- Every time you step outside your house the first thing you dois make your favorite wrestlers hand gesture.

- You have to smash a Pepsi can on your head before you can play WCW vs. the World.

- When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest In Peace"

- At the climactic moment of passion with your partner, youscream,"WHOOOOOOO!"

- When the boss yells at you, you get three of your buddies and punk him in the parking lot.

- Someone at a party tells a funny joke and you accuse him of trying to get over.

- Anytime anybody asks you a question, you "grab the mike" and yell, "MEEEAAAAN GEEEEENEE"

- You enter every room through the rafters with your son's voice introducing you.

- You can't walk into a room without Jimmy Hart singing your theme music.

- You can't enter a room without a large pyrotechnic display.

- Out of nowhere, you kick your boss and give him the Stone Cold Stunner.

- You talk in a third person like, "cause [SC] (name) said so"

- You throw paper and water bottles at your enemies, because theyare acting like a heel.

- While playing a sport, your friend gets injured and you say it's a work.

- You see a guy a dancing and posing, and start to chant "He is Gay"

- You create different personas and believe they are different people.

- You see a Canadian=and/or foriegner, you start to chant "USA!" "USA!"

- You show up at work in your everyday clothes and say "Idon't need any stupid gimmicks to work!"

- You and your co-workers decide to go to rival or competitor and say "We're taking over!"

- You're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.

- You walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle.

- Your method for testing whether fruit is ripe consists of smashing it across someone's forehead.

- You giggle when someone says they've got a 'job' to do.

- You've learned all your dance steps from Shawn Michaels and Alex Wright.

- You get deja vu playing "Mortal Kombat." ("Fatality. Glacier wins.")

- You find yourself waiting for Jeff Foxworthy to slop drop an audience member.

- You watch the news and wonder if the 'extremely graphic images' were done by blading, capsule or hardway.

- You deliever 1 Diamond Cutter, 2 Stone Cold Stunners, and 1 DDT onto a binder all before Social Class starts

- When called up to the board at class, you call the teacher a fat ass, kick her in gut, and apply the "Stone Cold Stunner"! then Show her she's number Two (ie. with bothfingers) and walk back to your desk with your arms in the air.

- When called up to the board you stand up at the board, put your left arm straight out and cup your ear with your right hand and listen for the reaction. Then, rip your shirt off...

- Every time you walk into a meeting, you clap your hands over your head singing, American Males

- You refuse to go to work unless they let you wear a dog collar and play Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" in the background

- Whenever you see a guy with two girls, you run up to him and ask, "What do you have to say, Dreamer?"

- On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"

- You challenge someone to a fight while wearing a mask, hoping they won't know it's really you

- You power bomb your mom through the dinner table.

- After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him.

- When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for 30 days if you lose.

- If you are a hair stylist and you put the person in a sleeper before you cut their hair

- When you have two...TWO t.v's set up right next to each other so you can catch both Raw and Nitro.

- You start your own "rival" company at work, call yourself the "Outsiders", recruit the President and declare in a board meeting "You want a WAR? You gawt one chico!"

- You carry around a tape recorder and before you say something you press play and it says:

This message has been paid for by the new world order or web world order

- You start piledriving your pen with your fingers

- You meet a wrestler once and then call him your friend.

- You are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan deathgrip on him.

- You look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.

- You search & search the bible for the book of Austin.

- You hit your ex boyfriend/husband with a high heel

- You start discussing who the jobbers are in other sports

- You found yourself marking out because the Braves had to job to the Mets on the last two games of the season...

- After you ask for a Big Mac at McDonald's, you yell "AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"

- You call your group of friends a stable

- You go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright.

- In Chemistry, your friend drops a chemical on himself and you yell "He's Hardcore!"

- You try to figure out everyone's gimmick at Halloween.

- When there's a fight and you "mark out."

- You make a speech at work and you end it with "Quote the Raven...Nevermore".

- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.

- You get fired from work and go over to the competition, walking in the front and saying "YO! You know who I am, but don't know why I'm here!"

- You Stone Cold Stunner the manager before leaving

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Page Updated Wed Oct 4, 2000 5:33pm EDT