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Britney Spears Meets Harry|
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Britney Spears: Ohmigod. Are you British? I love British accents! You know, I email Prince William sometimes. Harry Potter: That muggle? I mean, that's great. Britney Spears: I love your outfit! You look like a wizard or something. (squeezes Harry Potter's cheek) Harry Potter: Back, foul succubus! Britney Spears: What? Harry Potter: Oh sorry. Britney Spears: Whatever. Oh, that's a great fake lightningbolt you've got tatooed on your forehead. Harry Potter: It's not fake! Absolutely no part of me is fake. Britney Spears: Yeah, me neither. (winks) Harry Potter: Well, are you a muggle or not? Britney Spears: A muggle? Harry Potter: You know, can you do any magic? Britney Spears: Hmm. Well, I did manage to transform my mediocre singing talent into a chart-topping pop-music sensation! Look, now I'm just a girl...now, I'm a whole industry! Harry Potter: Wow, All I can do is transform lead into gold, or Hermione Granger into a frog. Britney Spears: (giggles) They pay you for that? Harry Potter: Well, no. But I also have the ability to magically transmute an identical storyline into the best-selling book in the country every single year. Abracadabra! Britney Spears: It sells better than Britney Spears' Heart to Heart? Harry Potter: (incredulous) yeah! Britney Spears: Hmmm. Can you sing? Harry Potter: No. Britney Spears: Great, then lets cut an album together sometime. Harry Potter: OK. Britney Spears: So, what else do you do? Harry Potter: Oh, I play Quidditch, this game where you fly around on a stick and try to catch the Snitch. I'm the "seeker". Britney Spears: Sounds tiring. Oops! Harry Potter: What is it, Britney? Britney Spears: I did it again. Harry Potter: What? Britney Spears: I played with this poor guys' heart. Harry Potter: Hey, it happens. Especially with a muggle as pretty as you. Britney Spears: No, seriously. This guy was kind of old, and he had a pacemaker. I kept shooting microwave radiation towards him. He seemed to be having a real hard time breathing. I need to stop doing that kind of thing. Harry Potter: What did this guy look like? Britney Spears: He was kind of tall, kind of skinny, wore all these robes, kind of like yours, but older. He had a wizened old beard... Harry Potter: You killed Dumbledore! Britney Spears: I guess I should have stopped, but I got lost in the game. Ooh, baby, baby.. Harry Potter: (Starts beating Britney with magic wand) I can't believe you killed Dumbledorf, I mean Dumbledore! Britney Spears: Stop hitting me! Harry Potter: OK, sorry. Britney Spears: Hit me baby one more time! Harry Potter: (hits Britney again) Britney Spears: Ow! Harry Potter: Sorry. Britney Spears: It's OK, I asked for it. I should never have performed so many annoying, repetitive songs. Harry Potter: Well, I hope you're sorry. Britney Spears: Believe me, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I had been accepted to Hogwarts, and that I lived in Gryffindor. Harry Potter: No, I hope you're sorry you killed Dumbledore! Britney Spears: Oh, the old wizard I killed? Harry Potter: Yes. With him dead, the evil Lord Voldemort will take over the world. Britney Spears: Voldemort? Who cares! Harry Potter: What? Britney Spears: Harry, you have a lot to learn about girls. (giggles). I'm not that innocent... I am Lord Voldemort! Harry Potter: Really? Britney Spears: No, actually, Voldemort's just one of my drummers. He's really not such a bad guy. Nothing like those jerks from LFO. If they took over the world, it would be a real problem. Harry Potter: What do you think of Christina Aguilera? Britney Spears: (growls) Oh, I think she's so sweet! I want to kill her, uh, I mean, she's so nice! Harry Potter: Well, I've got to get back to Hogwarts to battle the unholy terror you've unleashed on the world. Britney Spears: Yeah, I've got to get back to the studio to unleash my next album, Oops...I Unleashed an Unholy Terror on the Universe Again, on the world. Harry Potter: I guess this is goodbye. Britney Spears: Yeah, nice meeting you. Harry Potter: Allright, everyone reading this make sure you buy my books! Britney Spears: Yeah, and all of you out there, buy my albums, calendars, posters, and my very special Britney Spears' Heart to Heart. Harry Potter: Anything else you'd like to add? Britney Spears: Oh yeah. All you girls out there, start dressing like a 22-year old coed when you're twelve. Harry Potter: (flies away on broomstick) |
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