The Croquet Championship. I guess you could say that it all started one humid summer night while Chester, my imaginary friend, and I were playing croquet in my front yard. At first when the long black car passed by we thought nothing of it, figuring it was just another businessman passing through the neighborhood, but when the tires screeched to a stop and the car started in reverse, we knew something was it. It stopped directly in front of us and the back door swung open. "Oh my gosh," i whispered anxiously to Chester,"thats Jimmy Carter, the all-time greatest croquet player in the world!" "Hello," he said,"how would you young lads like to play in the doubles world championship of croquet over in Manchester, England?" There was a long pause. "Well??" he asked again. "We'd love to!" I blurted out. *** *** *** I dont remember much about the next month or so except that croquet was the only thing on our minds. Finally it was the day before we left on our trip across the sea. I was so excited I pee'd my pants about 6 times between breakfast and lunch. After lunch we started packing. I made sure that I had all of my lucky stuff, especially my alex mack PEZ dispenser. After a long nights rest we were off to the airport. We reached it in an hour and boarded the plane. The flight was fine except for the fact that i threw up from eating too many peanuts. When we arrived in England we were overjoyed to see a limo waiting for us. "Youve never been in a limo before have u?" the driver asked. "Howd you know?" i wondered. "People usually dont sit in the front seat" he shot back. I turned bright red and retreated to the back seat. *** *** *** *** We stayed in a five star hotel loaded with all the greatest things that life has to offer... free room service, ice machines, and of course, those nice little bars of soap. We took the elevator up to the 11th floor and inspected our room. A piece of paper with our schedule was laying on the dresser. It said that our first match would be that night at 8 and our limo would come to pick us up at 7. That gave us about 3 hours to run around town and enjoy the brisk european afternoons i had heard so much about. 7o'clock finally arrived and you could definately say that me and chester were pumped up. "OH NO!" chester exclaimed as we stepped out of the car. "Wh--?" I started to ask, but i knew exactly what he meant. Standing right in front of us were our biggest enemies from back in the states, not to mention the best doubles team in the world, Frank Furter and his trusty assistant Bob Saget(insert theme music here). "I didnt expect to see you here," Frank said and laughed hysterically. "Shut up!" was the only thing that I said even though i could have come up with all sorts of bad stuff,"why dont you just admit youre the worlds biggest cheater Bob?" "No one would believe me after i lived the spick and span life of Danny Tanner." "Enough talk," i said, "we have a game to play!" The game wasnt even close. We played a team from a small island that had never even played in a real match before. We won easily. We decided it was time to celebrate our opening win. So we ordered 80 rolls of PEZ and a carton of gummi bears. As a result of our victory, we were told that we would play Brazil and then either Germany or Iceland. I guess you could say that Brazil intimidated us but we got over our fear and passed by them with ease. The days passed and so did all the competition we faced. Team after team dropped as we fought our way to the finals against you-know-who. Now, it was REALLY time to celebrate. "Ill pick up the pizza," i said to chester. "Alright," he responded,"and ill order the PEZ." So i left the hotel and asked a man standing on the street to point me towards the nearest italian restaurant. In a half hour i had the pizzas and headed back to the hotel. I opened the door with the steaming hot pies almost burning my hands. I yelled for Chester but he was nowhere to be found. "BOB!!!!" I screamed with hatred. The next couple of hours i spent thinking of all the possible places bob wouldve taken chester, but i found myself empty handed. I wasnt surprised Bob would stoop so low and wished that my best friend was back so we could get revenge in the championship game and return home happy. Later in the afternoon I decided to take a walk and try to pick up any clues i could. I asked just about everyone i saw and as i found myself further and further from the hotel, I decided to call it quits. I turned back with my head dropped in disgust but a voice screaming "No Stop IT!" made me spin around. I investigated the strange noise and found myself outside an abandoned warehouse. "No stop it!" The voice was definately inside. I peeked in the window and knew exactly what was going on. Chester was the one screaming because Bob had him tied to a chair and was making him watch endless re-runs of Funniest Home Videos. I shivered with fear. I waited and waited painfully because i knew Chester would be emotionally sent back about ten years. Finally, Bob fell asleep and I realized it was now or never. Ever so slowly I opened the large rusty door. I crawled towards Chesters chair and began to untie him. "Ah...ahhhh;...AHCHOO!!!" I couldnt help myself, i sneezed, waking Bob up. I tried to escape but Bob quickly pressed the play button and Funniest Home Videos came on louder than ever. I found myself paralyzed and soon i was tied up next to Chester. *** *** *** We sat there together and screamed louder than we ever had before. I wished someone would rescue us but we knew no one in all Europe. I think we sat there for 3 hours, but early in the morning the warehouse door crept open. At first i didnt know what to expect but then a shadowy figure stepped into the light and i realized it was our limo driver backed up by the Manchester City Police. Bob and Frank were arrested and havent been seen since. As for chester and i, well, we won the tournament and left England with a huge trophy and more PEZ than i knew what to do with. You'd probly consider us REAL lucky, ya know, being the best croquet players in the world. Maybe if it all wasnt the most vivid dream i'd ever had i would think so to. THE END --- thanx to whoever wrote that for letting me put it on my website. its good stuff
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