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| Masturbation Song You don't need to use a condom You don't need a dental dam You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am." Don't need to spring for dinner, Or wear all that sexy stuff All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff 'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand! It's natural, and organic It's easy and it's fun If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done You don't need a special license You don't need a special skill Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill 'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand, Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand! (Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.) You can do it in the bathroom You can do it in your bed You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead You can rub it with some lotion You can stroke it with a cloth Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand. Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand |
 King Coolo@Aol.com |
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