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| Blonde Jokes |
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 Free Advertising from Click2Net! What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes? The back of her head. What do you call 4 blondes in a Volkswagen? Far-from-thinkin.` Why can`t blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammer. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are stuck on an island that is 20 miles from the mainland. The redhead decides she is going to swim to the mainland. She swims 5 miles, gets tired and drowns. The brunette decides to do the same, she makes it 15 miles, then gets tired and drowns. The blonde thought that she would try, she swam 19 miles and then got tired and decided to swim back. A Young Blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. "I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up. "Oh, no!"the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!" a blonde a brunette and a red head rob a bank the cop start chaseing them so they run into a alley so the red head jump into a trash can as does the brunette the blond looks around and jumps in a potato sack the the police come down the alley with search dogs and they go up to the first can and start barking so the red head goes meeow meeow so the cops leave thinking its a cat then they go up to the second can and the brunette goes woof woof so the cops leave thinking its a dog then they go up to the potato sack and the dogs start biting it and the blond goes ow oww ouch i mean um... potato There was a blond that had never taken horse riding lessons, but she still got on a horse. She started along in a gentle trot. Next, the horse started galloping, the blond reached out for the horses mane trying to hold on. She started to slip off the side of the horse, she began reaching for something, anything.............when the Wal-mart manager came out and shut the horse off. What does a blonde that dyed her hair brown have? -Artificial intelligience A blonde and a brunette were at home when the 6 o'clock news came on and an item appeared with a man standing on the ledge of a 17 story building. The brunette said to the blonde, "I'll bet you $50 that he jumps". The blonde said "Okay, you're on". Just then the man jumped. The blonde said, "Here's your $50". The brunette said, "I can't take your money, I cheated. I saw the 5 o'clock news and I saw him jump". The blonde said, "So did I but I didn't think he'd do it twice". A blond went to up to a Coke machine and put in $.50 and pushed the butten and a Coke came out. She was so amazed that she did it again and again and again after an hour a man stud in line for a wile and then asked if she was done yet. She sead "not now I'm wining!!" A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes. This blonde is leaving work, when she gets to her car, it has little dents all over it since it hailed while she was working. She takes it to the body shop. The man gives her a price, but she says it is too much. He says "Well, your cheapest option is to blow on the tailpipe and pop all the dents out." So, the blonde goes home and is in the driveway, blowing on her car's tailpipe when her roommate gets home. Her roommate, who is also blonde, watches her for a minute, then says "That'll never work if you don't roll up the windows". How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed? She said it was getting too cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan. A Santa Claus, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walkin' down the street. It's a windy day. A dollar bill happens to blown in their path. Who picks it up? The dumb blonde picks it up. Because everyone knows that the smart blonde and the Santa Claus don't exist. Two women jump off a bridge, one was blonde and the other brunette. Who hits the ground first? The brunette, she just fell but the blonde had to stop to ask for directions. What is the difference between blonde haired men and blonde haired women?? The blonde haired women have a higher sperm count! What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's got the grenade in her mouth! One day a neighbor of the blonde's go over to her house and sees the blonde crying and asked her what had happened and the blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and settled her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying again. The blonde replied with, "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too! There is a mirror in a women's restroom in a restauraunt. If you say something truthful while looking into the mirror, you will receive 1 wish. If you say some that's not truthful the mirror will suck you in. First this fine looking brunette walks in. She takes a look at herself in the mirror and says, "I think I'm the prettiest women in the world." And just like that she's sucked in. Next this amazingly beautiful brown-haired women saunters in, looks in the mirror, and says, "I think I'm the prettiest women in the world." Of course, the mirror sucks her in. Next this fine looking, pencil thin black-haired women walks in, looks at herself in the mirror, and says, "I think I'm the prettiest women in the world." She's sucked into the mirror with the rest of them. Then the cutest little blonde you've ever seen walks in, looks at herself in the mirror, and says, "I think..." And she's sucked in herself. There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. She asked the shepherd, 'If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?' He replied 'Sure!' Out of the blue, she blurts out, '352!' He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one. He looks at her and says, 'If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!' What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in handicapped zones. A blonde is going to London on a plane; how can you steal his window seat? Tell him all seats going to London are in the middle row. Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? She wanted to see what he looked like asleep. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box, it said "From 2-4 years." A blonde lived on a farm. He didn't get many visitors, so I went to see him...when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Noble Peace prize. I said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?" He replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Noble Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field." Did you hear about the blonde who was shopping in Macy's when the power went out? She was trapped for three hours on an escalator. What do a group of blondes have in common? Nothing they can think of. How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. How does she confuse you back? She comes out and says he did. Free Advertising from Click2Net! |
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