Aliens - http://maxpages.com/unknowngalaxy/What_to_do_when_bored_in

Hey its DD this is some stuff i found no relation with the other main stuff on the site so have fun.

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "Where are your tampons?"
Try on bras over top of your clothes.
Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible I smell sex and candy"
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Put M&M's on layaway.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me !! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, were out of toliet paper in here!"

LITTLE OLD LADY A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food.
She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat.
A lot of older people buy cat food to eat and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store, and they sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food.
Again the cashier demanded proof that she had a dog, because older people sometimes eat dog food.
She went home and brought in her dog.
She then got the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
She asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box, and then removes it.
Rolled her thumb and finger together, and took a whiff. "That smells like SxxT."
The little old lady said, "It is. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?"

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Page Updated Tue Mar 20, 2001 7:00pm EST