Aliens - http://maxpages.com/unknowngalaxy/Jokes

Hello DD here got some jokes i thought they were funny so here they are and there in no relation to the main topic of this site.

A modest man is in the hospital for a series of tests.
One of the last tests has left his system upset.
Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put.
He then filled his bed with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could possibly face.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
He started yelling, cussing, and swinging his arms wildly which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked "What the hell was that all about?" Still staring down, the drunk replied: "I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"

Well, the blondes finally got together and got back at the brunettes. Here's their revenge
What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? Brown-bagging it.
What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it.
Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners ? So brunettes can remember them.
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Invisible.
What's a brunette's mating call? " Has the blonde left yet? "
Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
Why is brunette considered an evil color? When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation.
What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage
Who makes bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache.

A man takes his dog into the vet and says, "Doc, there is something wrong with my dog".
The vet examines the dog and says, "Sir, I hate to inform you of this but your dog is dead".
The man exclaims, "That can't be. Is there another test you can run?"
The vet tells the man to hold on for a moment and steps out of the office.
The vet returns with a Labrador Retriever.
The Labrador circled around the dog, stiffing, and then stopped at the vet's feet, looked up to the ceiling and shook his head in a yes motion.
The vet said, "Sir, your dog is dead."
The man said, "That cannot be, is there another test you can run?"
The vet complied and left the office again.
He came back into the office with a cat.
The cat circled around the dog, stiffing and then stopped at the vet's feet, looked up to the ceiling and shook his head in a yes motion.
The vet replied, "Sir, your dog is dead." The man was simply devastated.
He could not believe that his companion of 15 years was gone.
Finally the man looked at the vet and asked him,"How much do I owe you?"
The vet replied,"$600.00" "Six hundred dollars!!!??????", the man replied.
The vet replied,"My fee is only $50 but it costs $550 for the lab test and the cat scan

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Page Updated Tue Mar 20, 2001 7:00pm EST