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| Beware, you have had too much wrestling..... * When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant * When you search & search the bible for the book of Austin * When you're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around * When you won't leave the bathroom until they play your theme music * If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him * When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle * When you rack your neighbour’s dog * When you attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays * When you are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan death grip on him * When you go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright * When you try to put your kids to bed with a sleeper hold * When you win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" on it * When you rate women on a scale of Chyna to Trish * When you begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response * When you do heel turns on your best friends for no reason. * If whenever you walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music" * When anytime anybody asks you a question, you grab the mike and yell, "MEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAN GEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEE" * When you dye your moustache blond while leaving your beard black * If you keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches * After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him * If you carry a foreign object in your underwear * When you go into work you insult everyone you see just to draw heat * If you're a Honky Tonk Man impersonator instead of an Elvis impersonator * If you wore spiked shoulder pads during a football game * If you really think it's cool to wear a wrestling t-shirt out in public * If you loose a job, you change your look and name before starting a new one * When you are working for that other company, your old boss is constantly badmouthing you to customers * If you find out that you have been fired by calling up the company's hotline * If you purposely blade yourself while shaving * If you suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn * When before a fight, you give away a pair of sunglasses to a kid * When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest In Peace" * When you go to a funeral and assume that the deceased just lost a Casket Match * When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it * If you walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle * If you paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers * When you go to your daughter's softball game and start a "we want blood" chant * If you get into an argument with a friend at work and challenge him to a loser must retire match * When you see a fight in the streets and call the moves * If you refer to all the women in your work area your valets * When you keep flour in your underpants (just in case) * If you refer to The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal as rag sheets. But for those who think they have already gone wrestling crazy, confirm it if..... * You start every sentence with the words "Well, ya know, Mean Gene..." or "Let me tell ya something..." * You refer to everyone you talk to as "brother" * Every time you see someone yawning, you get an uncontrollable urge to thrust your fingers down their throat and screech uncontrollably * Your children are named "Crippler", "Hitman" and "Hollywood" * You hold a wrestling tournament for an aluminium foil belt * You constantly play really bad air guitar on your foil belt that you cheated to win * On Halloween, you pull a Jericho and steal all the trick-or-treaters' masks and then claim them as "prizes" * You get kicked off the school wrestling team for chokeslamming your opponent * You cried when the Giant went nWo * You took bagpipe lessons just so you could play Roddy Piper's theme music * You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake * You fenced in your bed, so it feels like being in a steel cage * You throw your VCR away when you can't find Rick Steiner on your copy of "Gremlins" * Your best friend is a microphone * After your parents ground you for a week, you refer to them as "heels" * You dress your dog up as a "Hulkamaniac" * You use the phrase "Too Sweet" more than 45 times daily * You try to impress your friends by telling them Bobby Heenan jokes * You honestly believe that "TBS" stands for "The Brain Station" * You think "No Holds Barred" should win an Oscar * Your greatest accomplishment in life is mastering the sleeper hold * You roped in your backyard and you get together with friends to throw chairs around * You requested "3:16" as your new license plate * You think a tilt-a-whirl looks fun * You give crotch chops to the opposing team during a softball game * You feel sorry for jobbers * You try wrestling on a trampoline * You wear a arm cast just to hit people with it * You challenge your mum and sister to a triple-threat nightgown match * You become a garbage man just to play around with metal trash cans |
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