Zell Dincht VS. Tifa Lockheart - Playstation - http://maxpages.com/ultimaforces/Zell_vs

Rachel: Welcome back! If you’re joining us, we saw the fight between Selphie and Yuffie.
Katie: Yuffie seemed to have Selphie where she wanted her, until Yuffie’s plan backfired and Selphie grabbed the shuriken. With a swift slash, Yuffie’s head rolled away.
Rachel: But then Sephiroth made an appearance before his fight and turned Selphie Tilmitt to Selphie Tidbit.
Katie: What a great fight. We are about to see fight #2. Zell Dincht vs. Tifa Lockheart.
Rachel: That seems unusual, but let’s look at the stats.
Katie: Tifa is 20 years old and from Nibelhiem. She displays honesty and courage. Though 20, she still packs a powerful punch.
Rachel: Zell is from Balamb. Though 3 years younger than Tifa, we ALWAYS see him practicing. We NEVER see Tifa do that. She just follows Cloud everywhere.
Katie: Our fighters have entered the ring!
Rachel: In the blue corner, the martial arts master from Balamb. Hogdog lover, Zell Dincht!
Crowd: YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Katie: And in the red corner, Final Fantasy VII’s female of frenzy. FF7’s sweetheart, Tifa Lockheart!
Crowd: WWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Danielle: OK you 2. I don’t know what martial arts you guys take, and I only like to punch Seifer. Let’s get it on!
The bell rings.
Zell: Hey! Lara Croft wannabe! You don’t the meaning of the word the “fight!”
Tifa: Yes I do! You don’t know jack!
Zell: I’ve played that game before!
Tifa: DIE!
Tifa runs to Zell and does her Beat Rush, Somersault, and Waterkick.
Zell: Hey! Nobody said anything about using Limit Breaks!
Danielle: It’s allowed!
Zell: Fine then!
Zell does all of his Limit Breaks. Tifa flies back into the ropes. The ropes bounce her back to Zell and he punches her in the jaw, sending her flying out of the ring.
Katie: Holy cow!
Tifa: OWWWWW! My mouth! You’re gonna pay!
Tifa looks around and finds NORG eating a hotdog. Tifa runs to him and takes it.
Tifa: I need this!
Tifa runs back to the ring and holds up the hotdog.
Tifa: Oh Zell-da! Look! A hotdog! A nice big juicy one too!
Zell’s eyes grow big and he is manipulated.
Rachel: Tifa is manipulating Zell with the hotdog!
Katie: That’s a very interesting strategy.
Tifa: I’ll give it to you…if you Booya yourself in the eye!
Zell does Booya to his right eye.
Zell: OW! That’s hurts! But I’ll go through a ton of pain for that hotdog!
Tifa: Now…do your Burning Rave on yourself!
Zell does Burning Rave on himself.
Tifa: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Now…oops!
Katie: Tifa dropped the hotdog!
Angelo comes by and eats the hot dog.
Angelo: WOOF!
Zell snaps out of it.
Zell: What?
Tifa: Oh no!
Zell: Time to die Tifa!
Tifa: Time to die Zell!
They both get charged up. They then charge at each other and a huge explosion rocks the arena.
Rachel: Oh my God! They both did Final Heaven!
Katie: Let’s wait for the smoke to clear to find out who’s the winner.
The smoke clears. The arena is black, but no bodies.
Katie: Hey! Where’s Zell and Tifa?
Burnt body parts fall from above.
Katie: There’s somebody.
Rachel: Danielle’s going to check on it to see who it is.
Danielle looks.
Danielle: It’s Zell!
Katie: ZELL?!
Rachel: OK! But…where’s Tifa?
Tifa: Up here!
Rachel: Ladies and gentlemen, the blast sent Tifa flying onto the catwalk!
Danielle: The winner is…
Tifa falls down and breaks her neck.
Rachel: What the?
Katie: Not again!
Rachel: What?
Katie: Look at the catwalk!
Rachel: Sephiroth again?!
Katie: He sliced up the catwalk to make Tifa fall!
Danielle: The winner is…Sephiroth…again!
Rachel: That was good.
Katie: Let’s just hope the next fight will have a victor BESIDES Sephiroth.
Rachel: Don’t be so sure Katie. Fans, stay right where you are! Our next fight is a good one. Seifer Almasy vs. Rufus Shinra.

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Page Updated Tue Apr 11, 2000 8:37pm EDT