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The 4 Swords of Gilgamesh


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Setting: Lunatic Pandora

Squall: Are you still going on with this Knight thing?
Seifer: The Knight has retired. You can call me a new Revolutionary.
Squall, Rinoa, and Quistis fight Seifer. Odin comes in. He goes to attack Seifer, but Seifer sticks out his gunblade and Odin splits in half. His sword disappears into the sky.
Squall: Odin!
Seifer: Come on Squall! Let me add another scar for you!
After intensive battle, a red-robed figure comes in with 6 arms.
Gilgamesh: You gave me the 4th one. Was it you?
Gilgamesh grabs out Excalibur. He's ready to swing until...
Arthur: HALT!
Gilgamesh: Huh?
Arthur: I am Arthur. King of the Britains. I believe that's Excalibur you are holding.
Gilgamesh: Yes.
Arthur: So YOU were the one who stole it!
Gilgamesh: Stole it?
Arthur: You ran off with my sword! I am the only one to hold Excalibur!
Gilgamesh: You must be mistaken. This is my sword.
Arthur: I ORDER YOU TO GIVE BACK EXCALIBUR!
Gilgamesh: No.
Arthur: So be it!
Arthur finds a rock, throws it at Gilgamesh's hand, and Excalibur falls to the ground.
Arthur: Excalibur!
Arthur grabs it.
Gilgamesh: So what if I lost Excalibur. I shall bring out my Massamune...
Sephiroth: HOLD IT! I can't kill any people without that sword. You stole it!
Gilgamesh: What are you talking about?
Sephiroth: I saw you leave Nibelheim with my sword. GIVE IT BACK BEFORE YOU GET CRUSHED BY A BIG ROCK!
Gilgamesh: No.
Sephiroth grabs the Black Materia and summons Meteor on Gilgamesh. Sephiroth grabs his sword.
Gilgamesh: I swear! I didn't steal them!
Sephiroth: You stole our swords because your Excalipoor sucks! It does 1 HP of damage! You just want decent swords! GET YOUR OWN!
Gilgamesh: Bah humbug! I still have Odin's sword! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Odin: I'll take that!
Gilgamesh: Wait! You're DEAD!
Odin: I am not of this world.
Sephiroth: He's from my world!
Odin: The Odin from your world stole MY sword!
Seifer: What the heck are they talking about?
Quistis: Who knows.
Rinoa: You wanna have ice cream?
Squall: YEAH!
Quistis: YEAH!
Seifer: Wait. I still have to put you in Adel!
Suqall: I want sprinkles!
Seifer: OK OK! We'll put Rinoa in Adel, then have ice cream with sprinkles.
Rinoa: OK!
Squall: Fine by me!
Quistis: Oh no, not sprinkles.
Seifer: ALRIGHT! Without sprinkles, let's just take Rinoa!
Rinoa, Quistis, Seifer, and Squall: RIGHT!
Seifer grabs Rinoa and runs to Adel. Squall, Quistis, and Irvine follow.
Sephiroth: DON'T STEAL ANYMORE SWORDS! If you want to steal anyone's, go steal Cloud's!
Cloud: Ultima Weapon from this world stole my Ultima Weapon!
Sephiroth: He did?
Cloud: I bet he stole it and gave it to him!
Arthur: Let's get him!
Arthur, Sephiroth, and Cloud chase Gilgamesh all around the Lunatic Pandora.

Setting: Dairy Queen

Quistis: I SAID NO SPRINKLES!
Seifer: Sorry, Squall threatened to kill me if I didn't get any sprinkles.
Quistis: If I found 1 more sprinkle, I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD SEIFER ALMASY!
Irvine: Chill out.
Squall: Yum! Sprinkles! AW MAN! Thses are chocolate sprinkles! I wanted RAINBOW sprinkles!
Quistis: Alright! Let's kill em'!
Seifer, Quistis, and Squall run in and kill everyone. Irvine just shakes his head. Selphie runs to Irvine.
Selphie: Hey Irvine.
Irvine: Oh, hi Selphie.
Selphie: Whaccha doin?
Irvine: Nothing much. Seifer, Squall, and Quistis ran into the building to kill everyone.
Sephie: Oh. Let me guess. Quistis got sprinkles, Squall got the wrong type of sprinkles, and Seifer just got threatened and yelled at.
Irvine: Yep.
They hear a scream.
Irvine: A damsel in distress!
Selphie: Irvine! Wait!
Irvine runs to the scream. He stops and sees something ahead of him.
Selphie: That's your damsel?
Selphie begins to giggle as she sees Gilgamesh running from Sephiroth, ready to slice him up.
Gilamesh(Screaming like a little girl): AAAAAAHHHHHHH!! Leave me alone! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Sephiroth: I'm not going to quit until you die! This is what you get for stealing my precious Massamune!
Gilgamesh: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! STOP! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Selphie is on the ground, laughing her puny little butt off. Irvine glares at her and leaves. Quistis, Seifer, and Squall come back covered in red stuff.
Quistis: Hi Irvine.
Seifer: You missed all the fun! I sliced up the ice cream machine!
Squall: I killed the bananas!
Quistis: Leaving me with the toppings!
Irvine: I thought you went to kill everyone. And is that blood on you?
Quistis: No. Nobody was there. It's run by machines now. The red stuff is that one red topping that hardens. Squall is literally covered in it, right Squall? Squall?
Quistis turns to see Squall encased in the red topping shell thingy hardened.
Seifer: AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! He's like a Christmas ornament!
Irvine: Should we get him out?
Seifer: We'll let Chicken-wuss eat it.
Zell comes running in.
Zell: I HEARD THAT!! Hey. A Squall candy thingy!
Seifer: Do what you want to it. I'm outta here.
Seifer, Irviine, and Quistis leave. Zell eats up everything.
Zell: WHOA! Squall WAS inside it! Sweet! I should try to eat Seifer in a chocolate covering.
Squall: That was disgusting. You bit off a part of my arm!
Zell: I did?
Gilgamesh runs in.
Gilgamesh: HELP ME! THAT MAN IN THE BLACK CAPE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: QAh-HA!
Gilgamesh: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Gilgamesh runs away, Sephiroth following him.
Squall: What's the point of this?
Zell: Who knows.
Squall: Hmmm...let's go tar-and-feather Seifer.
Zell: OK!
Squall and Zell leave.

TO BE CONTINUED...


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