Things to do When You're Stuck in an Elavator! - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/ubersmooth/Stuck_in_an

1.Ask people on the if they've seen the first part of the movie Speed.

2.Push all the floor buttons. At every floor, get out, look around, mutter "Looks okay so far," and get back in.

3.Put notices in the elevators that read "Last inspection: Passed. Next Inspection Due: Jan 87"

4.Use physics to determine how fast the elevator will be going if it free falls from the top floor.

5.Countdown "5...4...3...2..1!" and suddenly duck.

6.Get on the elevator at the top floor and ask "Going Down?"

7. Keep muttering "I hope it doesn't happen again...."

8.Grimmace painfully while smaking your forehead and muttering "Shut up damnit, all of you just SHUT UP!"

9.Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall without getting off.

10.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embaressed when they open themselves.

11.Greet everyone at the doors with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

12.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter up your nose.

13.Listen to the elevator floors with a stethoscope.

14.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

15.Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

16.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peeking inside ask "Got enough air in there?"

17.Enter the elevator with a friend and have our firend say "I'll take your case but why'd you shoot the guy?" Say back "Cause he kept looking at the back of my head."

18.Enter a medical building with a friend and have him say "So what did he say?" then cough and answer "It's definately contagious."

19.Put on a ski mask, tap the shoulder of the guy in front of you and politely ask "Heya! Do you know how to unjam a pistol?"

20.Enter the elevator and as soon as it starts to go screem "OH GOD! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!!"

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Page Updated Wed Jun 30, 1999 4:45pm EDT