Jokes Made By Us! - HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! :&) - Contests - http://maxpages.com/trivias/Laugh

These jokes are not part of the contest. If you don't know what I am talking about then you need to go to Joke Votes to see! Click on this image and it will take you there:

You can email me with a joke and I will post it here! Some of these jokes are from the internet, books, etc.

Magician on a cruise ship

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience
would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the
same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The
captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the
magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the
middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat"
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table"
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all,
the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The
magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean
with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with contempt,
but did not utter a word. This went on for a days.
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. You got me on this
one ... where's the boat?"
-Jine Jine

Ugliest man in the world

One day, Hercules, Snow White and the Quazzimoto (Hunchback of Notre Dame)
were standing around talking. Hercules spoke up and said, "I bet I am the
strongest man in the world." Snow White then looked around and said, "Well
I bet that I am the most beautiful person in the world." Then Quazzimoto
looks around and quietly said, "I suppose that I am the ugliest man in the
world." An old man who had been listening in on there conversation said,
"There is a phsycic on top of that hill up there, why don't you each go in
there and ask her yourself?" The three friends agreed and they hiked to
the top of the hill. Hercules went in first and came out a few minutes
later and said, "I was right, I am the strongest man in the world." Snow
White went in next. She came out a few minutes later and said, "I was also
right, I am the most beautiful person in the world." Finally it was
Quazzimoto's turn. He went in and after a few minutes he came out
scratching his head. He looks up at his friends and said, "Who is Dennis
Rodman?"

-Jine Jine

Hollywood Does Famous Composers

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project--an action docudrama about
famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven
Segal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg
strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was
prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as
long as they were very famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to
play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people
saw me playing the piano." said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal. "I'd
like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then,
looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?" So
Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."
-Jine Jine

Traffic Light

Why did the traffic light turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
-Jine Jine

A blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening
was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said, "Hey! You
wanna see my underwear?"

Before she could respone, he had dropped his pants, right there in the
hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear.

She glanced down and said, "Nice design. Does it also come in men
sizes?"
-Cin dy

Tongue Twisters

The Dark Dotted Dog
-Jine Jine

Catch a kitten in a kitchen caught in cotton candy
-JIne Jine

Chester cheetah chewed a chunk of cheap chetter chesse
-Jine Jine

Tippy's top tenth town tought tiny timbits today.
-Friend
If you have any tongue twisters, jokes, or riddles or anything like that please email me at jjtrivia@hotmail.com Thanks!

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Page Updated Mon Jun 28, 1999 10:17pm EDT