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| Frivolous Lawsuits |
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| America's inmates don't give up. Disappointed by the criminal justice system, this plucky lot still has faith in the civil side. Last year, the states spent $81 million defending what state attorneys general called frivolous lawsuits. Here are a few favorites: *A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million. *A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber in prison. *A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of hunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy. *A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U.S. Postal Service. *An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its practices were secret. *An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party that prison employees held for a guard leaving his job. *An Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Rogain for his baldness. *An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope. *An Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to country music every day. *A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a con only serves about 3 years of a 10-year sentence." * A Maryland female inmate sued and won on the issue of male guards observing the women showering. * A Federal prisoner in Texas filed a "class action " lawsuit in Federal court alleging inmates were forced to work at hourly wages of under 30 cents, and were refused permission to form a trade union and/or strike for minimum wages under Federal law. (case is still pending) HOW DOES THIS JOKE RATE? Do you give it a: 5, 4, 3, 2, or a 1? |
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