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| Home The Doom Old Polls TOP TEN REASONS WHY NOVAK'S DURB STORY IS FALSE 10. Its Novak 9. 28 Degrees. Nuff said 8. The Chick didn't like Radiohead, so novak made the story up to get back at her. 7. Three Old Styles made him Delirious 6. The forecast called for a 30% chance of rain and a 0% chance of scoring durb. 5. Its Novak 4. Kubitz thought the story was Shakey. 3. Delphey saw Novak ten minutes earlier buying glow sticks from a Mexican 2. "Ok, let me get this straight. After she got done, she left??????" Probably. Chicks do that all the time. 1. She pretended to go down on him, but actually stole his wallet and ran away TOP TEN THINGS HEARD AT EAGS PARTY: (submitted by Adam Delphey) 10. "Look at my hairpic."-Paul and Casey 9. "Waukon pic, Waukon pic."-Josh Keyes 8. "Let's stare at that guy."-Nicole's friend 7. "I just pissed on the couch, let's leave."-Nicole's other friend 6. "Mad dog!"-Katie Duecer 5. "She won't puke."-Katie Dahlstrom 4. "Who the hell opened eight beers and didn't drink any of them?!?-Nate 3. "Novaks, what's Jacque doing tonight."-Clarke 2. "Pour a beer on my dome, please."-Novaks 1. "I am gay, so I can't come."-Joe May Top Ten reasons beyond a shadow of a doubt why I scored durb. (submitted by Nathaniel Novak) 10. with a lines like "fo sheezee"...what bitch couldn't turn it down 9. i played booty call a million times and i always won..nuff said 8. the bitches love my half grown sideburns 7. michael kubitz has taught me all i know, even though he blatantly denies it 6. i get durb all the time, i just haven't told all of you tools about it until now... 5. my unkept goatee never hurts the chances 4. i'm so just entirely ripped, she asked me if i wanted to score some durb from her 3. i did it for all the brothas out there... 2. the iowa city safety police DNA tested this one rape victim...and the jizz in her mouth matched my own jizz...errrrr 1. actually i was having a wet dream about spooning with kubitz Top Ten predicted reactions/replies to Novak's Durb story. (predicted by clarke) 10. Oh, yeah? Cool. >>hammel 9. hmmm. yeah. sure >>egan 8. hahaha, yeah that happened to me too. >>O'Neill 7. . >>rissman 6. Repeat that again? >>clarke 5. Right, Might of happened. >>lawson 4. Whatever Novakssss. >>delphey 3. Well, thats probably how you caught the hiv. >>dr. perry 2. What the fuck is Durb? >>novaks mom 1. Story is kinda shaky, novak. >>kubitz Top Ten most memorable Sexual encounters: By Joe May 10. One day I was driving through Waukon and I saw Maxine, wink and blow a kiss at me, and I Popped a Chubby. 9. One day I was in the garage. I saw a Cat licking itself. So I joined the fun. 8. One time in the back of the Mustang I sat on the Emergency Brake. 7. Johnny's Porn collection.... and my bathroom. 6. One day in high school, I brushed up against Mrs. Gillespie's Breast. 5. One time I walked in the living room and my brother Jamie was watching a Gay Porn. I thought it was pretty interesting, but he said that he didn't know where it came from. 4. When I was young, the dogs used to sniff my crotch. And I liked it. Sometimes I used to intentionally spill soda on myself. 3. One day my girlfriend, Jill, tried to clean my weiner, but I didnt like it, so I told her to stop. 2. In high school Mr. Mitchel and I used to play Doctor. Ya know, I don't think that he is a good doctor. 1. The most memorable time was in baseball when Aaron O'neill broke my back and found out that I could suck my own Dick. Top Ten suggestions to get rid of my Roomate 10. Everytime he says something, punch him in the face. 9. Tell him that Joe May is my friend and that he is coming to stay the night. 8. Light all of his stuff on fire and then put it out. 7. Kick him in the Nuts and send him home for a month, with his mom. (inside joke, true story.) 6. Invite O'neill over to Punch him in the face, and laugh at him. 5. Every time he enters the room, stare at him and shake your head, and pretend to punch him in the face. 4. When he is sleeping, put hair dye up his nose. 3. Tell him that you hate Boy Bands, and warn him that you are going to punch him in the face. 2. Throw him out the window a couple times. 1. Steal all of his things and then plant Marajuana in his closet and tell the RA that he is a drug dealer, and punch him in the face. This Top Ten was submitted by Joe May Top Ten I'm coming to Waukon for Christmas Break 10. Free food 9. NoWhere esle to go 8. To see the freshly fallen snow sparkle 7. To spend the holidays rehashing old memories with old freinds 6. To get A-rod drunk and make shit out of him 5. To watch the rock get overturned during the Y2K aftermath 4. Sit around and say how boreing Waukon is 3. My brother is 21 2. Protect myself from severe RA beatings 1. May-Clarke-O'Niell WrestleFest II submitted by Dustin Deeny. TOP TEN REASONS WHY WAUKON WON'T BE AFFECTED BY THE Y2K BUG. 10- There's enough pesticide in the air to kill any bug. 09- 3/4 the people in Waukon don't even know what Y2K is. 08- There will be no place worth plundering and looting even if it did. 07- There will be 24 hour government protection to protect slut rock. 06- The Sweeney's paid off the millenium bug. 05- The tradition is too strong: beer, broads, and breakin' stuff!!! 04- Jon T. found a cure for the bug while standing in line for 26 hours to see Star Wars 03- 3 words: this is Iowa 02- Waukon is already as shitty as it's gonna get! 01- The biggest technological advances in Waukon are the cotton gin and the mill wheel!! Top Ten Quotes from Kubitz's Party 10. Welcome to the Hawk's Den. >>Kubitz 9. Look What I Got. >>Delphey 8. Seagrums!! >>Arod 7. What's the new Rule?? >>Dahlstrom 6. Larry! >>Chad 5. Busch lite, NA! >>Clarke 4. Shoot It. >>Kubitz 3. Lets make some Pizza. >>Lawson 2. Whats the quote of the week Clarke? >>Egan 1. Oh my God, Micheal. What a mess. >>Deb Kubitz Top Ten places you will find Kubitz passed out. 10. The trash can on 5th Street SW. 9. Hugging a toilet singing fuel by Metallica. 8. In the backseat of Lawson's car talking to the CD Case. 7. In the elevator of THE MAYFLOWER COMPLEX trying to find the door. 6. In the passenger seat of his Camero, waiting for it to take him home. 5. Under the table at the Union Bar, fighting with the legs of a chair. 4. On the kitchen table with a piece of pizza in his mouth and his hand on a cereal box. 3. At Rissman's doorstep. 2. In front of Perkins waiting for the breakfast Buffet. 1. In his bed with a Playstation Controller in his hand. Top Ten Questions that Arod will be asked this summer 10. How old are you? 9. Bud Lite or Busch Lite? 8. Will you go on tour with me and my hot freinds... and buy us beer? 7. Meet me at Kwick Star Parking lot? 6. Do you wanna go to a kick ass party.... and bring some beer? 5. Are you ever going to get a car? 4. Whats my age again? Whats my age again? 3. Do you need a ride into town.... Or to the Liqour store? 2. Nice try, Mr. O'Neill, now hand over the beer. 1. Can I see some I.D. |
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