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veggeto goes christmas shopping by me	Jerry springer by Me
Vegetto stepped into the crowded department store, list in hand. All around him, people were grabbing for gifts, kicking each other, and causing general mayhem. Vegetto did not understand holiday shopping, so he figured that force was how to get what you wanted. "My kind of place," Vegetto thought to himself. Vegetto floated up above the crowd, and began browsing. First, a gift for the kids. Landing in the toy department, Vegetto was pushed by a burly father heading to check out. Vegetto promptly knocked the man out with an backhand to the head. Other shoppers stared at him, but Vegetto payed them no mind. Choosing a punching bag for Goten and a weight training set for Trunks, Vegetto headed on. Next, the women. Vegetto headed for that section via air. Touching down, the warrior was immediatly puzzled. Being fused meant having to choose for two wives. Glancing around, Vegetto spotted the perfect gift for Chi-Chi: a stress management kit. However, just as he reached for it, a large woman snatched it away. Enraged, Vegetto exploded into Super Saiyan and destroyed the woman's torso with a ki blast. The shoppers around him scattered in a kicking-screaming fashion. Vegetto picked up his prize from the corpse and grabbed a new miniskirt for Bulma before taking to the air again. Next, the family friends. Vegetto had to throw an old lady through a window to get Rogaine for Krillen, and knock over a small boy to get a wolfskin coat for Yamcha. Then, after getting some three-lensed glasses for Tenshinhan and a "Hairstyles of the '90s" book for Mr. Satan, Vegetto headed for check out. The line stretched around the store twice. "I refuse to stand in this line," Vegetto said quietly, and charged up to Super Saiyan once again. With a Big Bang Attack, the line was instantly cleared. Unfortunatly, the sales clerk was also cleared. Not wanting to soil his reputation by stealing, Vegetto left a $100 on the cash register, and left. "I think I do the shopping next year," Vegetto remarked as he flew to the Kame House for Christmas.	The cast of DBZ in ?Jerry Springer By me The Jerry Springer Show logo appears. The crowd is shown clapping as Jerry makes his way onto the stage. Jerry: Welcome everyone. Today?s topic is ?My girlfriend left me for the man responsible for my death. So lets get things started. I?d like you all to welcome Yamcha. Come on out, Yamcha Yamcha enters from the side and sits down. Jerry: So, Yamcha, tell us about you and your girlfriend Bulma. Yamcha: Well, we met when we were very young, like when we were in our late teens. At first we were kinda enemies, but soon we became inseparable. We were madly in love. Jerry: So what went wrong. Yamcha: Well, a couple of years back, Earth was attacked by evil Saiyans from outer space. Me and a couple of my friends tried to defeat them and sadly I died. Audience boos Yamcha: Anyway, Goku, a friend of mine, let Vegita, one of the Saiyans, live. Everyone thought he turned good when he helped Goku out on Planet Namek after that, especially Bulma. Soon after that, she left me for him. Audience boos again. Jerry: We have a surprise for you Yamcha. Let?s bring out Bulma. Bulma enters the stage and sits next to Yamcha. She is angry. Bulma: Yamcha, why the (bleep) did you have to drag me on this god-(bleep) show. I have a life to live unlike you. Yamcha: Bulma, I want you back. Bulma: Well you can?t have me. Vegita?s my man. Jerry: Calm down everyone. Bulma, tell me why you left Yamcha. Bulma: Cause he?s a slut. Crowd: Jerry, Jerry. Yamcha: She?s a (bleep)ing liar. Bulma: You should see him. He eyes any (bleep) that walks in the room. Yamcha: That?s notS(he stops talking as he watches a female bodyguard walk bye) Can I have your number, baby? Bulma slaps him. Bulma: See what I mean. Yamcha: That?s just one person. Bulma: Oh, hell no. Yamcha: Name one. Bulma(quickly): Marron Yamcha: Oops, forgot about her. Bulma: See. If I went with that mother (bleep)er again, he?d cheat on me the first chance he gets. Jerry: Yamcha. What do you have to say about this? Bulma (interrupting): He only liked me because he wanted some of this. (She rips of her shirt and her bra. The crowd cheers. Yamcha starts to drool.) Crowd: Jerry, Jerry! Bulma starts swearing like crazy. Security guards grab her and drag her off the stage. Jerry: Now that?s over with, let?s bring out her lover Vegita. Vegita enters and sits down by Yamcha. Jerry: Vegita, why don?t you tell us why you killed Yamcha. Vegita: Well, the little (bleep) got in the way of my plans to destroy the Earth. Jerry: Why would you want to destroy the earth? Vegita: I?m a Saiyan, it?s what I do. Yamcha: I can?t believe I was left for this (bleep)ing psycho. Vegita: What the (bleep) did you say, Yamcha? Yamcha: Kiss my (bleep). Vegita: (bleep) you! Jerry: Calm down everyone. Vegita: He?s just pissed of cause I?m more of a man then he?ll ever be. Crowd begins chanting again. Yamcha: You?re not even a man, you?re a (bleep)ing monkey. Vegita holds up his hand and fires a Big Bang Attack at Yamcha. It goes through his stomach causing him to die. Jerry: Holy (bleep)!!! Vegita: That?s what you get for (bleep)ing with my girl. Crowd: Jerry, Jerry!! Jerry: Uh, we?ll be right back after these messages. Jerry Springer Show logo appears. Cut to commercials.
Just like in my dreams by : ME
Fourth Level Freeza danced impatiently from one lizard-like foot to another. "Calm, be calm...calm," he tried to tell himself. It didn't work. He was as still excited as ever. I can't beleive it--my first real-live performancehe thought happily. Maybe they'll give me a standing ovation--maybe they'll ask me to do an encore--maybe someone will hand me a beautiful boquet of red roses! He blushed at the thought. Just like in my dreams! But for all these things to happen, I'll have to do my best, he concluded. I'm on in just a few seconds. He peered from backstage onto impatient members of the audience who were watching Perfect Cell wrap up his speech. "And now," Cell said, "for the first time performing in public, the terror of the galaxy: Freeza!" A polite round of applause sounded. Freeza cautiously stepped out on stage into the beam of a spotlight. He cleared his throat, and gripped the microphone nervously. Remember...Calm, he checked. "I'm going to sing a song that you've probably heard before--it's one of my favorites--I hope you like it," he stumbled lamely. Nothing happened. "Psst! Vegeta! That was your cue!" he whispered towards the piano player. Vegeta, who had been examining his nails, started. "Huh, what? Oh, sorry..." he began playing. Freeza, sweat dripping down his neck, took a deep breath, trying hard to keep his knees from shaking. "The way you wear your hat," he sang with a full, sweet voice. "The way you sip your tea," he continued. The audience burst in a full-blown round of clapping, and the releived Freeza smiled. He now sang open and loud, with his Soprano voice hanging in the air. The song carried on, and in no time, there was only one line left. "No, no, no!" he paused for a dramatic moment, creating just the right effect. "They can't take that away from me!" A renewed sound of clapping rang in his ears, and as he bowed, the sweet air of victory filled his lungs. A short, bald man with no nose stood up, still clapping and smiling. He waved his tail a little in happiness, and noticed out of the corner of his eye, the piano player brushing away a tear. A pretty blue-haired girl in the front row threw him a boquet of crimson roses. Freeza blushed deeper than the color of the roses. A tall, silly-looking dark haired man yelled out "encore, encore!" and an incredibly drunk Namek threw his turban in the air and yelled out "Yeah! We want hic more!" Freeza grinned. "Well, here's another that I really like: We lived our little drama, we kissed in a field of white..." he sang, on and on, "and stars fell on Alabama last night." And as he did, he thought of how this was just like in his dreams. by me

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