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| Who do you turn to when your pet dies? |
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| by T. L. Hickey When my 16 year old cat, Smokey, had to be “humanely put to sleep” on June 29, 1998, I was devastated. I went through the usual stages of grief: loss of appetite, inability to sleep, shock, tears, followed by anger and guilt that I could not save Smokey. When I later tried to find someone in Mississauga that would understand my pain, such as a support group, a grief counsellor or someone to just listen, I came up empty handed. Being alone with my pain made that time even more difficult. Because the loss of a pet is a traumatic event, many people don’t realize how important they can be to us and can’t understand the pain we feel when they die. There are many people who have never known the unconditional love of a pet and have no concept of how special that companionship and love can be. Often times, people grieving the loss of a pet try to shrug off and ignore what they are feeling because until recently, pets have not really been considered by many to be actual “companions. The Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group now offers group support meetings held on the first Wednesday of each month: The Arbor Family Centre, 91 Wilson Street, Oakville, Ontario; the third Wednesday of each month: Scott Funeral Home Mississauga Chapel, 420 Dundas Street East, Mississauga, Ontario. . Telephone support is available at Mississauga-(905) 272-4040, Oakville-(905) 842-2252 and Burlington-(905) 637-5233. We also have email support: petloss@idirect.ca. Meeting rooms and telephone numbers have been generously provided by Scott Funeral Home Mississauga Chapel, Oakview Funeral Home and Dodson & Brown Funeral Home. Without their support, the Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group would not be able to exist. We can provide callers with suggested reading and film lists regarding pet loss and the human-animal bond, suggestions of pet loss websites, chat rooms and newsgroups where people may find some comfort and understanding of their pain, suggestions of where to call for professional counselling and an understanding friend to talk to and who is willing to listen. We are not grief counsellors. We want to provide a “safe” place for people grieving the loss of a pet to come and talk about their feelings where they won’t have to worry that their feelings will be misunderstood or scoffed at, a place where they can ask questions or be informed of questions to ask, as they are faced with the difficult task of making a euthanasia decision, a place where if they just want to share memories, both happy and sad, of their beloved pets, we will be there to listen. The Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group is non-profit. We are not yet a registered charity and unfortunately cannot issue charitable receipts. We are, however, hopeful that we will one day be able to register the Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group as a charitable organization. For now, however, we are anxious to let the people of Halton and Peel know that we exist and know that we are here to help them. If you have suffered the loss of a pet please contact us. If you know of someone who has had such a loss, please let them know about us. Here are some ways to help cope with the loss of a pet: Give yourself permission to grieve. Remember “RRE” – rest, relax, exercise. Surround yourself with people who understand your loss. Educate yourself about the grief process so that you will know that you are not “going crazy”. Acknowledge your feelings and don’t try to bury them. Allow yourself small pleasures – be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself – don’t expect that your feelings of loss will be gone overnight. Give yourself permission to backslide – you may still have days where the pain sneaks up on you and you are in tears again. It’s OKAY to cry. Seek professional assistance if you feel that there is more at the root of your pain than the loss of your pet. Sometimes the death of a pet may trigger other traumatic events that you have for one reason or another pushed aside. Get in touch with your higher power. Pet lovers understand each other’s pain. It’s up to us to help each other! |
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