Quotes - Humor Quotes - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/theemporium/Humor

Wherever you go, there you are.

You never really grow up, you just learn how to act in public.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then toss it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place
If I were a dog, and you were a flower, I'd lift up my leg and give you a shower.

Thanks for the kindness, thanks for the words-but you didnt mean them- so go tell a bird

"What's the point of making a mess when you have to clean it up?"-Tigger

"I'm an amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget"-Michael McShane

"I don't do drugs any more 'cause I find I get the same effect from standing up"-Johnathan Katz

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing:'This looks so much better on.' On what? Fire?"-Rita Rudner

"Good grief!"-Charlie Brown

"It's not easy being green"-Kermit the Frog

"Ninety% of everything is crap"-Theodore Sturgeon

"Never eat more than you can lift"-Miss Piggy

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation"-George Bernard Shaw

"Hey! Wanna fatty? Ha Ha!"-Mike Fougere

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized"-Fred Allen

"If a man could have 1/2 his wishes, he would double his troubles"-Benjamin Franklin

Tell YOUR voices to shut up, I can't hear mine!

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Lauren

Marshfield,

Massachusetts

thehamstra@hotmail.com

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Page Updated Sat Nov 2, 2002 8:27pm EST