WHAT DO THEY MEAN - wot they say and wot they mean - Miscellaneous

what the lads say and what they actually mean

We all know that girls and guys are from different planets, but is there any chance of a little intergalactic translation? In an attempt to make the language between the sexes a little more universal, we've managed to interpret what lads really mean when they say: "Darling, you look lovely"…

1) We don't need material things to prove our love.
Actually means… Oops! What do you mean it's our one year anniversary?

2) No your bum doesn't look big in that.
Actually means… Even if it did I wouldn't tell you - my life wouldn't be worth living.

3) Have you lost weight?
Actually means… I've done something bad and trying to butter you up.

4) Do I fancy your best mate? Course not!
Actually means… Well, she's not bad looking come to think of it.

5) My girlfriend doesn't understand me.
Actually means… I'm bored of her and wouldn't mind snogging you instead.

6) It would take too long to explain.
Actually means… I have no idea how it works, so please don't show me up.

7) I'll phone you in the week.
Actually means… The ball's in my court now and that's the way it will stay.

8) That's interesting.
Actually means… Oh, are you still talking?

9) I'm not ready for a relationship right now.
Actually means… Sorry, I just don't fancy you but don't want to hurt your feelings.

10) It's a really good film - you'll love it.
Actually means… It's got guns, bombs, loadsa fighting and Denise Richards wearing a skimpy white bikini.

11) Good idea.
Actually means… It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating.

12) We're going to be late.
Actually means… This would never have happened if you hadn't been faffing around trying to decide what to wear. You always take three hours to get ready.

13) What do you mean you need new clothes?
Actually means… You only bought that new top, skirt and pair of boots a week ago. You've got way too many as it is.

14) I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind.
Actually means… I was wondering if that cute blonde over there is wearing a bra or not.

15) You know how bad my memory is.
Actually means… I remember the theme tune to Goodfellas, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the serial code for my Playstation but I seem to have forgotten your birthday.

16) I've got flu and might die.
Actually means… I've only got a touch of the sniffles but I want as much sympathy as possible.

17) What did I do this time?
Actually means… What did you catch me at? I'm not admitting to anything that I don't need to.

18) Yeah, 'course I'd like to go shopping.
Actually means… I'm not happy but I agree to carrying your bags round town all day like a servant.

19) I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.
Actually means… No-one will ever see us alive again.

20) I don't need to read the instructions.
Actually means… I'm too stubborn to admit I don't know what I'm doing, or where I am.

21) I broke up with my last girlfriend.
Actually means… She dumped me.

22) You look great.
Actually means… Oh, God, please don't try on another outfit. I'm really hungry.

Any clearer? One thing's for sure, in the delicate game of relationships you'll have to tap dance around your proverbial handbag more times than a Friday down the disco. It's like the Wild West out there and a cowgirl who can read the smoke signals is definitely in the saddle when it comes to getting on with a chief.

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Bex and 4D

eNgLaNd

U.K.

yeah like we're gonna give ya that

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Page Updated Sun May 20, 2001 4:18am EDT