E-Mail from God
Good Morning!
I am the Lord your God. Today I will be handling all of your.
Please remember that I do not need your help. If the devil happens
to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt
to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD ( something for Jesus to do )
box. It will be addressed in MY time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it or attempt
to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your
problem. If it is a situation you think you are capable of handling,
please consult me in prayer tobe sure that it is the proper resolution.
Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you to lose any
sleep. Rest my child. If you to contact me, I am the only a prayer away.
Love Eternally,
The Lord your God
(anonymous)
Jesus vs. Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get
the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired
of hearing all the bickering. God said, "Cool it! I am going to set up a
test that will run for 2 hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So they sat at the keyboards and typed away. They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent out emails.
They sent out emails with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.
They did every operation possible on a computer, but just a few moments
before the 2 hrs. were up, lightning flashed across the sky. The thunder
rolled and the rains came down hard. And, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan was upset. He fumed and fussed and he ranted and raved, all to no
avail. The electricity stayed off. But, after a bit, the rains stopped and the
electricity came back on.
Satan screamed, "I lost all when the power went off . What am I going to do?
What happened to Jesus' work?"
Jesus just sat and smiled.
Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his
computer back on. The screen glowed. When he pushed the "print" it was all there.
"How did he do it?" Satan asked.
God smiled and said, "Jesus saves."
If I had to Live My Life Over
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less
about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never had insisted the car window be rolled up on a summer day because my
hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried on by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into
a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have brought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
There would have been more " I Love you's"....more "I'm sorry's"....but mostly, given
another shot at life, I would seize every minute....look at it and really see it....
live it.....and never give it back.
We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.
BY: ERMA BOMBECK ( THIS IS SHORTER THAN THE ORIGINAL)
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