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Blode Jokes
Cat Jokes
lawyer jokes
you might be a redneck if
things never to do
You might be a child of 80s if
Pick Up Lines and Responses
Funny Bumper Stickers
You Might be an Engineer if
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| Things never to do |
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| Shave your head bald, wear prison clothes, and run around town with a "scared" look on your face. Date women that wear bigger clothes than you. Tell the salesclerk that you're looking for something that tells your girlfriend you love her, but you're not willing to leave your wife. Play with skunks. Talk about your imaginary friend out in public. Go swimmin' with bow-legged women. Light yourself on fire, then ask, "Do you smell smoke?" Play Russian Roulette with Russians. (Chances are they know the game better than you.) Invite someone over for dinner, then answer the door naked and act totally surprised. Go fishing at a public pond, and let others think that you don't realize you don't have a pole. Touch your tongue to cold metal in the middle of December. Change your underwear everyday - you're just asking for a wreck. Pretend you have Turrets Syndrome in church. Touch anything to cold metal in the middle of December. Tell another man how pretty his eyes are. Teach a cat how to swim. Try to milk the boy cow. Tell the Army recruiter, "I'ld like to join, but do I have to wear green?" Whistle while you work - been done. Try to name the ants in your ant farm. Give a dog lots of beer & get him to follow you while you yell, "RABID DOG, RABID DOG!" Hold a cat by its tail just a couple of inches off the floor. Lace the dog's collar with catnip. Order out and then eat in. Ask the waitress to shut off the ceiling fan, and keep turning it back on when she isn't looking. Take one bun off your burger and tell the person at the counter they forgot it. (Works well when repeated by your friends.) Place your order at a drive-thru, and when they read it back to you say, "No, no, no....." , and just repeat exactly the same things, except in a different order. Call someone and tell them their dog is in your garden. If they say, "I don't have a dog." Say, "That's ok, I don't have a garden." |
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