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Blode Jokes
Cat Jokes
lawyer jokes
you might be a redneck if
things never to do
You might be a child of 80s if
Pick Up Lines and Responses
Funny Bumper Stickers
You Might be an Engineer if
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| Blonde Jokes |
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| Q.Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? A.To see whats on the other side. Q.How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye? A.Shine a flashlight in her ear. Q.What is a blonde's excuse for crashing a helecoptor? A."It got hot so I decided to turn of the celing fan." Q.Why is it harder to make a blonde snowman, compared to a brunette snowman? A.You have to hollow out the head. Q.What do blonde's and Coke bottles have in common? A.They are both empty from the neck up. Q.What is one advantage to being married to a blonde? A.You get to park in the handicapt zone. Q.How do you know that a blonde sent you a fax? A.It has a stamp in the corner of the fax. Q.How do you get a blonde to lagh on Saturday? A.Tell her a joke on Tuesday. Q.How do you drown a blonde? A.Put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of the pool. Q.What's another way to drown a blonde? A.Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. Q.How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A.I don't know, it was too dark to count em. What do you call an intelligent blonde? A golden retriever -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the blonde name her pet zebra? Spot -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is it called when a blonde dies her hair brown? Artificial intelligence -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call 100 blondes sitting in a circle? A dope ring -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call 100 blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you have when you stand 100 blondes next to each other, shoulder to shoulder? A wind tunnel -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does a blonde clean her house? She hires a maid -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do blonde braincells die ? Alone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a blond mother-in-law? An air bag. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do Blondes wear earmuffs? To avoid the draft. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee? It's too hard to re-train them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Trying to hold on to a thought. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? You keep hearing about them, but never see any. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you confuse a blonde? You don't. They're born that way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do blondes hate M&Ms? They're too hard to peel. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Proofreading. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W's. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you keep a blonde busy? Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning? "Thanks, guys..." "So, are you all on the same team?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's brown and red and black and blue? A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't blondes make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? So she could keep the refrigerator cold. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? One. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why couldn't the blonde write the number 11 ? She didn't know what ONE came first... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? Divorced. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? There is a stamp on it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men like blonde jokes?? Because they can understand them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you find a blonde skeleton in a closet? Last year's Hide and Go Seek champion! A group of blondes were driving to Disneyland. They saw the sign that said "Disneyland LEFT", and turned around and went home! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde and a brunette were walking through a park. The brunette said, "Oh look at the poor dead bird." The blonde looked up and said, "Where??" |
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