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| THE "HAPPY" ATHEIST |
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| THE "HAPPY" ATHEIST/SECULAR HUMANIST BELIEVES THAT: |
 The same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
Conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
Gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
Homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
The AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
Guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
There was no art before Federal funding.
Global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
Businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
Hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.
Self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
The military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
The NRA is bad, because it supports the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
Taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
Standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't, because the right people haven't been in charge.
Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
The only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
Illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
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