The Dentist - You know, the nut in the mask with the drill? - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/sugarinacan/The

Have you ever noticed the dentist is a truly gifted person? Not only does he know everything there is to know about your pearly whites...he can pull a few things off even a miracle worker couldn't dream of.
For instance. Have you ever noticed, how a dentist never talks to you, until he has his hands lodged in your throat? It's nuts! I can't stand it. And they never ask you "yes or no" quetions. Just incredibly impossible questions. Something like:
"So, how do you spell your middle name?"
"How's that summer job coming along?"
"Hey, I hear the Orioles are doing great, what inning did Cal get hit in the head in?"
"Who was that song produced by again?"
Or something equally impossible or irrelevant to what is going on.
Then there's the chair. They always adjust it so that you are bent in half, backwards, and upsidedown. Then, they ask you:
"Are you comfortable?"
Which you can't answer, because all of the blood has rushed to your head, and you can't speak. You just kind of squeak, which in dentistese means: "yes, thank you I am fine".
Then there is the breath. When your dentist is leaning over you staring deep into your #9 molar, he is always sure to breathe into your mouth. His nose is positioned right over your taste buds, so you can smell everything he did this morning. Oh, it's terrible.
What about Mr. Whistle? My dentist when I was a little kid, named the drill, Mr. Whistle. I was scared to death of Mr. Whistle. I would shake in my boots everytime he said: "Here comes Mr. Whistle!" And now when I go to the dentists and just hear the drill in the background, I cringe. Or that horrid little hook thing they scrape your teeth with? UGH! How can anyone be a dentist? I get creeped out just hearing the scraping sound...ech. I truly admire dentists...just as long as I'm either asleep, or watching from a sound proof room.
Then there's the prize at the end of your exhausting and frightening mission. When you are little, its sticker, or a ring, or some sort of puzzle, with a toothy theme. But when you hit adolescense, it's a toothbrush! And it's always the toothbrush the dentist has just finished telling you is really not his first choice in teeth cleaning tools. And by the end of the year, you have so many tooth brushes, you don't know what to do with them all. You give one to the cat as a toy, and one to your parrot as a purch. Then one to the mail man. And one for scrubbing those hard to reach places...in the kitchen sink.

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Page Updated Thu Apr 20, 2000 10:54pm EDT