20 Minutes Per Kid - If you have kids, or have experienced them, you know what I'm talking about. - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/sugarinacan/20

Have you ever noticed, how it takes people with kids much longer to arrive at parties, or go somewhere? Well, in this section of SIAC, I, Cozmo will be sharing with you just WHY this is so.
I have 3 younger siblings. An 8 year old, a 3 year old, and a 10 month old. I am often helping the parental units load the heard into the minivan, or find shoes, or whatever else might be needed. This just goes to show you, if you have kids, things take longer.
For instance, you're going to the gorcery store (why you are bringing all 4 kids with you, I don't know). You announce to your spouse that you are doing so, and he/she says he/she is busy, therefore needs you to take the kids. After a short period of debate, he/she reminds you that the last time, HE/SHE took the kids, so now, it's your turn.
Alright, this isn't going to be hard, you reassure yourself. "Kids, lets go".
This is where my dad's theory kicks in: Always time things so that you have 20 minutes per kid.
Kid # 1:Well, she's the helper, and you'll need her to help shepard the rest of the flock at the store. So you tell her continuously to get off the computer and to help you get the kids out to the van. She is working on her web-site, and it will be a hard fight. But, you are the one with the authority in this house, and therefore, #1 loses.
Kid # 2: Kid 2 is glued to the TV. She is watching the Backstreet Boys concert on Disney she has seen every night this week. She still will not come until "The next song is over". Then there's the issue of the shoes. Everytime you arrive home from somewhere, she is the first one to kick off her shoes in the doorway, thus you trip on them. You keep hollering that she get up and get them on. But now, she can't find them. You stop and move on to kid 3.
Kid # 3: Ok, first, you have to track down the 3 year old, to get him to go potty, before the big adventure. Then you find his shoes and socks are missing. You go upstairs to get a pair of socks, and then dig his shoes out of the shoe basket. Easy, he's done.
Kid # 2: She's found her shoes and is in the process of tying them.
Kid # 4: Well, she needs a diaper change...as well as a whole outfit change. You once again trudge upstairs to find an outfit. Remembering that you did laundry, and everything is downstairs, you return downstairs.
Finally, everyone is ready. You herd your population out to the Family Transportation Unit, and attempt to find the car key in the massive heap of keys on your chain. At last you have opened the sliding door. You strap #4 in, then go around to the other side to strap in #3. #1 and #2 are now bickering over who sits in the front seat. You quickly remind your 8 year old that the airbag in the front passenger seat could decapitate her...bringing a smirk across #1's face. You are just about to close the sliding door when #3 announces the absense of his "engine". Yes, the N scale, F-7 engine your son high-jacked from your husband (or you) is missing. You try and figure out what it is he is saying, and if he is making sense, you go to retrieve the beloved item from it's hiding place. Ok. Now you can go.
Just more proof, that in addition to kids taking 20 minutes to do everything, I am once again correct to find that EVERYTHING TAKES 3 HOURS!
If you agree with this whole analysis, and would like to share your experiences, then please write us at the address displayed below, or sign the guestbook. Thank you...
-Cozmo

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Page Updated Thu Apr 20, 2000 10:54pm EDT