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Barenaked Ladies' Lyrics to CD GORDON
Hello City
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
Hello city ...
Another night at the Palace 'cause there is nothing else to do
The same people, the same drinks and the same music, the same quicksand.
I think this harbour town is waist deep and sinking fast
Chorus:
Hello city, you've found an enemy in me.
Hello city, hello city.
Second night at the Warehouse,
and my mock turtleneck just reeks.
From the liquor room to the changeroom,
to the doom and gloom of the hotel room.
I wish this seaside beerhall would sink into the bay.
Chorus
Maybe I caught you at a bad time,
maybe I should call you back next week,
maybe half the fault was mine that
the sun didn't shine on Barrington Street.
it's three o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry so let's eat.
Climb down three flights to the streetlights
and the bar-fights, we're just taking in the sights.
I hope tomorrow that I wake up in my own bed.
Chorus
Enid
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
Chorus:
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
it took me a year to believe it was over,
and it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters,
and every time I remembered the taste of your lipgloss.
Chorus
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
but Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
There were times when I wanted to hurt you,
and there were times when I know that I did.
There were times when I thought I would kill you,
but can you blame me I was only a kid.
Tell me why we never respected each other.
and tell me why I never believed that you were a person too.
I always thought that you fancied my brother.
I may not have liked it, oh but memory is a strange thing, oh, and Enid?
Enid I remember you.
Chorus
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway,
but Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
it took me a year to believe it was over,
and it took me two more to get over the loss.
I took a beating when I wrote you those letters,
and every time you told me to get lost.
Now it's not fair to say that it's
'cause I was three inches shorter then,
and it's not fair to say that it's 'cause
I was only fifteen years old.
But maybe it's fair to say it was a lack of communication,
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication,
oh, and Enid,
Enid you got a cold.
I can get a job I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut off my cholesterol
I can work overtime I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you,
But I don't want to.
Enid we never really knew each other anyway.
Grade 9
Words & Music by Andy Creeggan, Jim Creeggan, Steven Page, Ed Robertson & Tyler Stewart
I found my locker and I found my classes
Lost my lunch and I broke my glasses,
That guy is huge! That girl is wailing!
First day of school and I'm already failing.
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
I've got a blue and red Adidas bag and a humongous binder,
I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner.
I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran.
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
Well, half my friends are crazy and the others are depressed
and none of them can help me study for my math test.
I got into the classroom and my knowledge was gone;
I guess I should've studied instead of watching Wrath Of Khan.
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
They called me chicken legs, they called me four-eyes
they called me fatso, they called me buckwheat,
they called me Eddie
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
I've got a red leather tie and pair of rugger pants,
I put them on and I went to the high school dance.
Dad said I had to be home by eleven --
aw, man, I'm gonna miss Stairway to Heaven.
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
Brian Wilson
Words & Music by Steven Page
Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night,
just to check out the late-night record shop.
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane;
but when I'm surrounded I just can't stop.
it's a matter of instinct, it's a matter of conditioning,
it's a matter of fact.
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate -- how'd you like that?
Dr. Lendy tell me you're not just a pedagogue,
cause right now I'm
Chorus:
Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.
So I'm lying here, just starting at the ceiling tiles.
and I'm thinking about what to think about.
Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile,
and I'm wondering if this is some kind of create drought
because I am
Chorus
And if you want to find me I'll be out in the sandbox,
wondering where the hell all the love has gone.
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun,
and singing "Fun, Fun, Fun."
Chorus
I had a dream that I was three hundred pounds
and though I was very heavy,
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me because I'm
Chorus
Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night.
Just to check out the late-night record shop.
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane;
but when I'm surrounded I just can't stop.
Be My Yoko Ono
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
If there's someone you can live without, then do so.
And if there's someone you can just shove out, do so.
Chorus:
You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono.
isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love?
Barenaked as two virgins hand in hand and hand and hand in glove.
Now that I'm far away it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain.
To have you hanging off my ankle like some kind of ball and chain.
Chorus
Oh no, here we go, our life is just one big pun.
Oh no, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!
I know that when I say this
I may be stepping on pins and needles.
But I don't like all these people
slagging her for breaking up the Beatles.
(Don't blame it on Yokey!)
if I was John and you were Yoko,
I would gladly give up musical genius,
just to have you as my very own, personal Venus.
(Hit it!)
Chorus
Wrap Your Arms Around Me
Words by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
Music by Jim Creeggan & Ed Robertson
I concede that you were right about this place.
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace.
I can hold you until you turn out the light
and I can't see
Do you believe that we are all innately good
Do you think that you would love me until tomorrow if you could
Would you please turn down the radio
so we can speak
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me.
Put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me.
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me.
I regret every time I raised my voice
And it wouldn't be that bright of me to say I had no choice.
I can kiss your eyes your hair your neck
until we forget
I concede that you were right about this place.
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace.
I can hold you until we turn out the light,
and I can't see
I can't see.
What A Good Boy
Words by Steven Page
Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
When I was born, they looked at me and said,
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
"What a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl."
We've got these chains that hang around our necks
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.
Chorus:
This name is the hairshirt I wear
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me, be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.
I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.
Chorus
I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid away all night.
We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...
Chorus
When I was born, they looked at me and said;
"What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy."
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
"What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey"
The King Of Bedside Manor
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.
Chorus:
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.
He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop.
Sticking out of your haversack, um,
I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar.
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.
Chorus
Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone.
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.
Chorus
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
Box Set
Words & Music by Steven Page
I never thought that you would love me the way that you do.
I never thought that you would love me half as much as I do.
You say you wanna know everything about me. Well here you go.
You say you couldn't live your life without me. I don't know.
But if you want it girl, you've got it,
it's all right here,
in my box set.
I never thought that words like product could ever leave my lips,
but something happened to me somewhere that made me lose my grip.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration that makes me stoop,
or maybe it's a lack of remuneration; I can't recoup.
But if you want it folks, you got it;
it's all right here in my box set.
Disc One
it's where we've begun, it's all of greatest hits,
and if you are a fan then you know that you've already got 'em.
Disc Two
it was all brand new, al album's worth of songs,
but we had to leave the whole disc blank 'cause
some other label bought 'em.
Disc Three
This is really me in a grade school play;
I had about a hundred thousand lines but of course I forgot 'em.
I never thought there'd be days like this, there was always someone at my door.
I never thought I would ever miss, and the crowd would always holler for more.
But now it seems all that people want is what I used to be,
and every time I try to do something new,
all they want is 1973.
I never thought I'd be regretful of all my past success.
But some stupid number one hit single has go me in this mess.
You can put it on every compilation - that's all right.
You can hear it on the oldies radio station every night.
And if you want it again, you got it
it's right here in my box set.
Disc Four
Never released before, and you can tell why.
it's just some demos I recorded in my basement.
Disc Five
I was barely alive, I was coughing up a lung,
so they had to use a special computer as my replacement.
Disc Six
A dance remix, so I can catch the latest trend
and it'll make you scratch your head and wonder
where my taste went.
So now my fans are crying sellout,
they say that I've lost my touch.
They say I should just get the hell out,
before I do too much.
Hear my songs in an ad for a bathroom cleanser -
they say it's greed,
And now I'm wondering where my friends are in this time of need.
But if you change your mind and buy it,
I hope you enjoy my new box.
I hope you enjoy my new box,
I hope you enjoy my new box set.
I Love You
Words by Andy Creeggan, Jim Creeggan, Steven Page & Ed Robertson
Music by Andy Creeggan & Jim Creeggan
Chorus:
I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let's make a family tree
I like soup, and I like ice cream sandwiches too.
I like fish sticks, but I love you.
You don't believe me, you say all I think about's myself.
Let me explain, don't walk away.
I love me
You love you
I Love me
So what are we to do?
How would you know that I love you so?
I don't say too much
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.
You've given me a start, I ain't no doctor
but just take a look at the chart for my heart
like a dart from the start I'm coming
down with something good.
it ain't no fever or flu, doctor says it had
to be someone with brown hair and blue eyes, I'm
lovesick for you I realize.
I's loves you
And youse loves me.
I's loves you
So let's make a family tree.
How did you know that I loved you so?
I don't say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I'm in town?
I guess life was fine till I came 'round.
Chorus
New Kid (On The Block)
Words and Music by Scott Dibble, Steven Page & Ed Robertson
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sore.
'Cause you can see my face in the window of every store.
You can buy my lunch box.
You can wear my clothes.
You can remember my name just as plain as
the face under your nose.
I'm a new kid on the Block,
'though I may not be Johann Sebastian Bach.
So we may not write the songs we sing,
but look at Elvis, he sold his soul and
you crowned him king.
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sad.
You see, I've got everything that I
always wished I had.
I thank my manager and I thank the screaming girls,
I thank my hairdresser for giving me such beautiful curls.
Now I'm a New Kid on the Block,
well I'm twenty-three and they won't let me grow up.
I went down to register for the draft,
well I got up to the counter, and the lady there just laughed.
She said You're a New Kid on the Block,
young girls scream and old boys mock,
well you broke my youngest daughter's heart.
I knew you kids were trouble from the start.
I didn't ask to be famous, but I'm not sure
that we're as apple pie as you always thought we were.
I can stay up all night. I can have a blast.
I can breakdance, I can fight, I can kick your sorry ass.
I'm a New Kid on the Block,
and 'though I may not be Johann Sebastian Back,
there's no need to be afraid of us
'though it just might be your daughter on our bus.
Blame It On Me
Words and Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
Here we are again and we're looking at each
other as if each other were to blame.
You think you're so smart, but I've seen you naked
and I'll probably see you naked again.
MillI VanillI told you to Blame it On The Rain,
but if you blame it on the rain tell me
what can be gained so,
if all else fails you can blame it on me.
Chorus:
if all else fails you can blame it on me.
if all else fails you can blame it on me.
if all else fails blame it on me.
if all else fails you can blame it on me.
Then you smile again but you're
looking at me as if there's something I'm
supposed to say.
Forgive me Father, but I'm falling in love
and that's all I have for confession today.
Maybe if you'd ask me on any other given day
I wouldn't have time for you or anything that you say
but it's alright now, you can blame it on me.
Chorus
Yes dear I love you,
but sometimes I think that love's not enough for you.
So you want to play mind games,
well that's fine, go ahead, la la la I can't hear you.
Here you are and you're
a hundred thousand miles away.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fungus.
I wax poetic as you're waxing your legs
you say you think there's a traitor among us.
Chorus
The Flag
Words & Music by Steven Page
The phone rings, it's early, it's seven o'clock.
He says sorry I woke you, but I just had to talk
you know last night, remember when I
tried to choke you?
I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke
you should know that by now,
when the chequered flag comes down,
no one no one no one has won the race.
The next night he's over and over and under
and after he's finished she lies there and wonders.
just why does she need him and why does she stay here
and then in the darkness she'll quietly say Dear,
you've never really known that when the white flag
is flown, no one no one no one has won the war.
They're complicated people leading complicated lives,
and he complicates their problems by telling complicated lies
He tells her he's sorry, she tells him it's over,
he tells her he's sorry, she says over and over
You've never really known that when the white flag
is flown, no one no one no one has won the war.
There goes a forest and there goes a bluebird.
There goes a partridge and there goes a Go Train.
There goes an angel and there goes a steeple.
There goes a cop car and there goes an eagle.
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons.
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons.
There goes a raven and there go
The ribbons, the ribbons the ribbons
The ribbons of the flag.
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD DRIVE
Jane
Words & Music by Steven Duffy & Steven Page
The girl works at the store sweet Jane St. Clair
Was dazzled by her smile while I shopped there
it wasn't long before I lived with her
I sang her songs while she dyed her hair
Chorus:
Jane, divided, but I can't decide what side I'm on
Jane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run
Jane, Jane
I'd bring her gold and frankincense and myrrh
She thought that I was making fun of her
She made me feel I was fourteen again
That's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just stay friends
Jane doesn't think a man could ever be faithful
Jane isn't giving me a chance to be shameful
Jane, Jane
I wrote a letter, she should have got it yesterday
That life could be better by being together
is what I cannot explain to Jane
The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair
Was dazzled by her smile while I shoplift there
No promises as vague as Heaven
No Juliana next to my Evan
Jane, desired by the people at the school and work
Jane is tired, 'cause every man becomes a lovesick jerk
Jane, Jane
Intermittently
Words & Music by Steven Page
Someone somewhere has unglued our epoxy
And now I'm kissing you by proxy
Hope you don't mind
Somewhere someone is dreaming of me
Tries to love me, hope you don't mind
I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently
She's a lot like you but she don't look like you
Okay, she's not you
But she'll do fine
I got my life on hold just to avoid confrontation
But should I tell you to your face and
Risk my hide?
I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently
When immeasurably
Turns to intermittently
There's no use in going on
Except for fear of being wrong
Every morning I just hit the ground yawning...
Stick around if you enjoy disaster
'Cause if you can't see what I'm after
You must be blind
I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently
Didn't have the heart to say goodbye
So I continued in my charlatan ways
Did I say heart?
I meant to say guts
Now I'm on my own and I'm sorry that you're gone
These Apples
Words & Music by Ed Robertson
A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She'd circled the word "romance"
So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said!
Chorus:
These apples are delicious!
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?
She wrote me a letter as big as a phonebook
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethebridge
And wondered if it still went by rail
I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar,
You get what my meanings are
Chorus
I'm not trying to sing a love song -- I'm trying to sing in tune.
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling love, catching fire -- I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire!
Chorus
You Will Be Waiting
Words & Music by Steven Page
As we walk together through the autumn, nearing winter
Through the dying leaves and trees we call our home and native land,
You say you don't believe a thing I say, I say you don't believe a thing
You say you can't believe how I don't understand
Chorus:
But I Know
That you will be waiting
Oh I know
That you will be waiting
Oh I know
You Will be waiting
Waiting there for me
You say you cannot live with me, you need your own identity
And now we air our laundry on national TV
And so you hate my arrogance, my smothering and sitting on the fence,
But I'm afraid of the hard permanence of letting you go free
Chorus
I'm so sick of fighting and that effigy you're lighting looks
An awful lot like whose name I just can't quite place
And though you say it's not supposed to be me or any entity
Still through the lames and smoke I see I recognize that face
Chorus
And you were someone who would
Always tell me things I don't know,
And tell me where to go
But there I'll always go
Whether or not you're waiting
I don't care if you'll be waiting
But please say that you will be waiting there for me
A
Words & Music by Steven Page
A is for angry, which is what you are at me
A is for adult, which is what I'll never be
A is for applesauce, my favorite meal
A is for Adam, which is how I sometimes feel;
Like I'm the only man on Earth, and I've forgotten what that's worth
A is for Arthur, he's a lovable drunk
A M & Azing, like Thelonius Monk
A is for argument, A is for apparent
A is for antagonism that's not even there and
it's just you begging for attention or something I won't even mention
Chorus:
And I don't even know why you keep on trying
Like I don't even know why I keep on lying
There are millions of people in worlds of their own
And two of them can't let go
A is for algebra, I learned it in school
A is what Fonzie said, 'cause he was very cool
A is for adversary, A is for affection
A is arousal, you are giving me an erection
C'mon I'm trying to show affection for longer than a half an hour
Chorus
I met a woman I used to know
Long before you, long ago
All I could say, after hello
Was "are you still single?"
A is for attitude I can't help but wield
A is for arrogance; emotional shield
A is for acting, A is for abhorrently
A is for asshole, which is what I am, how rude of me.
I owe you an apology I'm sorry
Chorus
Everything Old is New Again
Words & Music by Stephen Duffy & Steven Page
Learn to lose, it's easier that way
We've paid our dues, but we can't make life pay
All across the world, people going mad
in their mother's cars, the kids are feeling sad
That's how it is, and I'll see you later
Everything old is new again
Everything under the sun
Now that I'm back with you again
We hug and we kiss
We sit and make lists
We drink and I bandage your wrists
Wasted youth -- there wasn't much to waste
Down to the bone, and still losing weight
With all the wishing in the world glistening in her eyes
But when I say I love her, she thinks I'm telling lies
is it all lost? No, we never had it
Everything old is new again
Everything under the sun
All of our fears come true again
Recycle reuse
Resent and refuse
Our parent's ideals and view
She thinks the afterlife might just be where the action is
With high schools built like prisons, she can't find a way to live
Moved back home to fill the empty nest
Afraid to roam, in love with second best
While somewhere in the world, she's hosting her own show
And everyone she questions never seems to know
Who they are and where they are going
Everything old is new again
Everything under the sun
Now that I'm without you again
I wake up and eat
I go back to sleep
And let my nightmares repeat
All across the world, people going mad
Alternative Girlfriend
Words & Music by Stephen Duffy & Steven Page
You're in an all-girl band
Your futon's second hand
Your parents understand but you don't care
I have a job in a shop
I'm an undercover cop
I make sure the customers aren't thieves
Old at being young
Young at being old
Everything's on hold within our evolution
Chorus:
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you, and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over
Last night we slept on the lawn
you woke up and I was gone
Back to the dream I dream to leave
My life with her is a bore
A worn-out metaphor
No more surprises up its sleeve
We're old at being young
Young at being old
Everything's been sold to other's revolutions
Chorus
You live above your dad's four-car garage
With your vinyl and imaginary entourage
if I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quick
So we can get out of this town 'cause it makes me sick
Chorus
Am I The Only One?
Words & Music by Ed Robertson
Am I the only one who gets to make you laugh.,
Laugh until you cry?
Am I the only one who asks you to go,
Go on without me?
Am I the only one who loves when you leave
Your hair down in front of your eyes?
Chorus:
And who do you think I am?
And who do you think I'll be?
without You?
Am I the only one who had to dress you up
To see how you fell down
Am I the only one who needs you to go,
Go on about me?
Am I the only one who loves when you leave
Your hair down in front of your eyes?
Chorus
Little Tiny Song
Words & Music by Andrew Creeggan
Hey I'm a cow, I'm curious
Hey watch me now, I'm furious
Hey I'm a cow, I'm full of hate
Hey watch me now, I'm on your plate
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