WOMEN`S UNDERWEAR
(to the tune of Winter Wonderland)
by The Crossdressers
Lacy things the wife is missin`
Didn`t ask for her permission.
I`m wearing her clothes, her silk pantihose.
Walking `round in women`s underwear.
In the store there`s a teddy
With little straps like spaghetti.
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walking `round in women`s underwear.
In the office there`s a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He says Are you ready?
I say Whoa, man
Let`s wait until the wife is out of town.
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress like Madonna
Put on some cool shades
And join the parade
Walkin` round in women`s underwear.
Lacy things the wife is missin`
Didn`t ask for her permission.
I`m wearing her clothes, her silk pantihose,
Walking `round in women`s underwear.
Mastubation Song
You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!
A Member of the Hangdown Club - A Poem
Submitted By: the_dude
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is just my water spout.
I used to be embarrassed
To make the thing behave
For every single morning
It used to watch me shave.
But now I'm getting older
It sure gives me the blues
To see the thing hang down my leg
And watch me shine my shoes.
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special licence
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!
(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.)
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand
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