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| WOMEN`S UNDERWEAR (to the tune of Winter Wonderland) by The Crossdressers Lacy things the wife is missin` Didn`t ask for her permission. I`m wearing her clothes, her silk pantihose. Walking `round in women`s underwear. In the store there`s a teddy With little straps like spaghetti. It holds me so tight Like handcuffs at night Walking `round in women`s underwear. In the office there`s a guy named Melvin He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He says Are you ready? I say Whoa, man Let`s wait until the wife is out of town. Later on, if you wanna, We can dress like Madonna Put on some cool shades And join the parade Walkin` round in women`s underwear. Lacy things the wife is missin` Didn`t ask for her permission. I`m wearing her clothes, her silk pantihose, Walking `round in women`s underwear. Mastubation Song You don't need to use a condom You don't need a dental dam You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am." Don't need to spring for dinner, Or wear all that sexy stuff All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff 'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand! A Member of the Hangdown Club - A Poem Submitted By: the_dude My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is just my water spout. I used to be embarrassed To make the thing behave For every single morning It used to watch me shave. But now I'm getting older It sure gives me the blues To see the thing hang down my leg And watch me shine my shoes. It's natural, and organic It's easy and it's fun If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done You don't need a special licence You don't need a special skill Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill 'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand, Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand! (Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.) You can do it in the bathroom You can do it in your bed You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead You can rub it with some lotion You can stroke it with a cloth Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand. Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand |
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