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`Yo Mamma Jokes
Your mama is so poor, you ask whats for dinner and she puts her feet on the table and says
"corn."
Your mama is so lame, she dj's for an ice cream truck.
Your mama has more extensions then AT&T!
Your mama is such a whore, she has given more feel ups than Texaco.
Your mama is such a slut, she's been filled in more than an application form.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama is so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Your mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Your mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Your mama is so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Your mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Your mama is so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Your mama is so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002's.
Your mama is so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world.
Your mama is so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Your mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
Your mama is so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her.
Your mama is so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her
mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Your mama is like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out
all day.
Your mama is like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and
off.
Your mama is like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
Your mama is like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the
coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
Your mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Your mama is like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Your mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Your mama is like a gas station...you gotta pay before you pump.
Your mama is like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama is like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Your mama is like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Your mama is like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
Your mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
Your mama is like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your mama is like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
I saved your mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over.
Your mama is so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Your mama is so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Your mama is so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her ...
Your mama is so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Your mama is so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Your mama is so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
Your mama is so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... t the radio station.
Your mama is so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Your mama is so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Your mama is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Your mama is so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Your mama is so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Your mama is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her
5 years to live.
Your mama is so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Your mama is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Your mama is so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Your mama is like a package of batteries, Ever Ready!
Your mama is so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Your mama is so fat, she looks like the michellin man.
Your mama is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Your mama is so fat, she makes FreeWilly look like a tic-tac.
Your mama is so fat, she got a glass leg and filled it with kool-aid.
Your mama is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Your mama is so fat,you put 4 qurters in her ear & a bag of Doritos pop out.
Your mama is so fat, she uses a VCR as a Beeper.
Your mama is so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed 2 episodes of "Friends."
Your mama is so fat, when she wears a Malcome X T-Shirt Helicoptors try to land on her.
Your mama is so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back
party.
Your mama is so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Your mama is so fat, she wipes her ass with a mattress.
Your mama is so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.
Your mama is so fat, she could sell shade.
Your mama is so fat, after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she tried to work a street corner Johns paid her to leave.
Your Mama is so ugly, she walks down the street and gets aressted for attempted murder.
Your Mama is so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
Your Mama is so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
Your Mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job Application.
Your Mama is so ugly, when she walks by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
Your Mama smells so bad, she makes the RIGHT GAURD turn left.
Your Mama smells so bad, speed stick slowed down.
Your Mama smells so bad, secret told on her.
Your Mama is so skanky, she worked at a sperm bank and got fired for drinking on the job.
Your Mama is so skanky, she keeps ice between her legs to keep the crabs fresh.
Your mama is so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she
drowned.
Your mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her
mind.
Your mama is so stupid, she failed a survey.
Your mama is so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Your mama is so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought 2PAC Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Your mama is so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.
Your mama is so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Your mama is so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.
Your mama is so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Your mama is so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Your mama is so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.
Your mama is so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Your mama is so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned
around.
Your mama is so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Your mama is so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Your mama is so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
Your mama is so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
Your mama is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Your mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Your mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper.
Your mama's breath is so stank, when she exhales her teeth have to duck.
Your mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Your mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Your mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry.
Your mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.
Your mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Your mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it.
Your mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips over.
Your mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Your mama's head is so small, she got her ears pierced and died.
Your mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Your mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can eat, under a
dollar!"
Your mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the Energizer bunny.
Your mama's tits are so small, she had to tatoo "front" on her chest.
Your mama is like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mama is like Burger King... Your way, right away.
Your mama is like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Your mama is like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
Your mama is like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
Your mama is like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
Your mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
Your mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
Your mama is like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
Your mama is like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out
all day.
Your mama is like a library, open to the public.
Your mama is like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Your mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.
Your mama is like Discover card, she gives cash back.
Your mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
Your mama is like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
Your mama is like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.


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Garrett Graff
Livonia

co_ol_dad4@yahoo.com

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