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EVENTS Orlando, FL
INFORMATION FOR LIFE I
INFORMATION FOR LIFE II
QUOTES
GAY STORIES I
GAY STORIES II
GAY STORIES III
GAY STORIES IV
GAY STORIES V
GAY STORIES VI
GAY STORIES VII
GAY STORIES VIII
GAY STORIES VIIII
GAY STORIES X
DIRTY JOKES I
DIRYT JOKES II
DIRTY JOKES III
DIRTY JOKES IV
DIRTY JOKES V
DIRTY JOKES VI
NAUGHTY HUMOR I
NAUGHTY HUMOR II
NAUGHTY HUMOR III
CARTOONS
IMAGES
MY FAVORITE LINKS
MORE STORIES I
MORE STORIES II
MORE STORIES III
MORE STORIES IV
MORE STORIES V
MORE STORIES VI
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| INFORMATIOM FOR LIFE |
| Life Tidbits |
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 I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E 1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don't ...believe all you hear, spend all you have, or loaf all you want. 4. When you say, "I love you," mean it. 5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. 9. Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely. 10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. 11. Don't judge people by their relatives, or by the life they were born into. 12. Teach yourself to speak slowly, but think quickly. 13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" 14. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 15. Call your mother, while you still can. 16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. 17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 18. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions. 19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. 22. Marry a person you love to talk to. As you get older, his/her conversational skills will be even more important. 23. Spend some time alone. 24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 26. Read more books. Television is no substitute. 27. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. 28. Trust in God but lock your car. 29. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home. 30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 31. Don't just listen to what someone is saying. Listen to why they are saying it. 32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 33. Be gentle with the earth. 34. Pray or meditate. There's immeasurable power in it. 35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered. 36. Mind your own business. 37. Don't trust anyone who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss. 38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. It is wealth's greatest satisfaction. 40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 41. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. 42. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. 43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 44. Live with the knowledge that your character is your destiny. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble. When you re-arrange the letters: Dormitory--------------------- Dirty Room Evangelist-------------------- Evil's Agent Desperation------------------- A Rope Ends It The Morse Code---------------- Here Come Dots Slot Machines----------------- Cash Lost in 'em Animosity--------------------- Is No Amity Mother-in-law----------------- Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms----------------- Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness----------------- Genuine Class Semolina---------------------- Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries------ Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point--------------- I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes--------------- That Queer Shake Eleven plus two--------------- Twelve plus one Contradiction----------------- Accord not in it And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS IF I KNEW If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two, to stop and say that "I love you," Instead of assuming that you KNOW I Do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well, I'm sure you'll have so many more, So I can let this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, And we always get a second chance to make everything all right There will always be another day to say our "I love you's," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's." But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So, if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or kiss, and you were too busy to grant someone, What turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them And that you'll always hold them dear. Take the time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or It's OK." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. A FRIEND A friend should be radical; They should love you when you're unlovable, Hug you when you're unhuggable, And bear you when you're unbearable. A friend should be fanatical; They should cheer when the whole world boos, Dance when you get good news, And cry when you cry too. But most of all, a friend should be mathematical, They should multiply the joy, Divide the sorrow, Subtract the past, And add to tomorrow, Calculate the need deep in your heart, And always be bigger than the sum of all their parts. Forward this to all your friends and send it back to the person who sent it to you, and whoever sent this to you, really cares about you, and is your friend. >> A Perfect Mistake Mother's father worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to some orphanage in China. On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they were gone. When he mentally replayed his earlier actions, he realized what happened; the glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen into one of the crates, which he had nailed shut. His brand new glasses were heading for China! The Great Depression was at it's height and Grandpa had six children. He had spent $20 for those glasses that very morning. He was upset by the thought of having to buy another pair. "It's not fair," he told God as he drove home in frustration. "I've been very faithful in giving of my time and money to your work, and now this." Several months later, the director of the orphanage was on furlough in the United States. He wanted to visit all the churches that supported him in China, so he came to speak one Sunday at my grandfather's small church in Chicago. The missionary began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting the orphanage. "But most of all," he said, "I must thank you for the glasses you sent last year. You see, the Communists had just swept through the orphanage, destroying everything, including my glasses. I was desperate. Even if I had the money, there was simply no way of replacing those glasses. Along with not being able to see well, I experienced headaches every day, so my coworkers and I were much in prayer about this. Then your crates arrived. When my staff removed the covers, they found a pair of glasses lying on top. The missionary paused long enough to let his words sink in. Then, still gripped with the wonder of it all, he continued: "Folks, when I tried on the glasses, it was as though they had been custom-made just for me! I want to thank you for being a part of that." The people listened, happy for the miraculous glasses. But the missionary surely must have confused their church with another, they thought. There were no glasses on their list of items to be sent overseas. But sitting quietly in the back, with tears streaming down his face, an ordinary carpenter realized the Master Carpenter had used him in an extraordinary way. Think about this one! An army runner was saved from instant death by, well . . . you'll see. As he made his way across the dead and dismembered bodies strewn across the ravaged battlefield back to his company with orders from the battalion commander, the sound of bullets and bombs had been silenced. With a relative sense of safety, he walked on being thankful that, at least for a while, there was a calm in the senseless storm. Approximately two-thirds of the way across the devastated field, he was suddenly stopped by an unusual sight. It hovered right before him, at perfect eye level. At first, he thought that he was suffering from fatigue and was seeing a mirage. "It can't be," he said to himself, "not out here in the midst of a raging war!" But it not only was real, it came right up to him and stopped no more than three inches from his face. He started to step forward when it lunged forward, pushing him a couple of steps backward. And then it happened! A gigantic shell hurled through the air and landed right in the very spot from which he had been literally pushed. "I would have been killed!" he gasped. "I would have been killed!" But that little object, probably less than an ounce in weight, kept him from losing his life. It was a definite miracle because he had not seen one since he had gone off to war . . . and surely not right out in the middle of an all-out war, in the midst of an awful battle. But it was there, and it did save his life. The Psalmist foretold it in Psalm 91: l when, under inspiration of God who sent that very little object to save a life, he said, "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." The strange little object? It was a butterfly! I said a prayer for you just now! When you receive this, say a prayer. That's all youhave to do. There is nothing attached. This is powerful. Just send this to four people and let me know what happens on the fourth day. Do not break this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue praying for one another. May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let His presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun. It is there for each and every one of you. Send This to 4 or more People and witness the awesome power of PRAYER Think About This One It was a cold winter's day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of he church. We all fellowshipped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place and to give us the Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down. People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit he took off his hat and coat. My heart sank. There stood our preacher...he was the "homeless man." No one said a word. The preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand. "Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today." Then he started singing the words to this song. "If I can help somebody as I pass along. If I can cheer somebody with a word or song. If I can show somebody that he's traveling wrong. Then my living shall not be in vain." "IS YOUR LIVING IN VAIN?" "To God Be The Glory" Justice - When you get what you deserve Mercy - When you don't get what you deserve Grace - When you get what you don't deserve JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! Many people will walk in and out of your life... only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. Friends, you and me... you brought another friend and then there were 3. We started our group, our circle of friends... and like that circle, there is no beginning or end. If you happen to find true friendship, do not abuse it-treasure it... for from friendship comes greater things. The most beautiful discovery true friends can make is that they can grow seperately without growing apart. |
| Orlando, | Florida | 32835 |
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| Visitors: 00440 |