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EMOTIONAL SAFETY


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THE TOP TEN WAYS TO CREATE EMOTIONAL SAFETY IN RELATIONSHIPS

We all want to have healthy relationships with those who are important in our lives. Often the level of emotional safety can be determined by the quality of our conversations. These statements are directed at couples but can also be used in parental relationships, friendships, and working relationships.


1. Listen without interrupting. Hear what is really being said and what is not being said. Watch for obvious body language.

2. Give your partner space to have his/her feelings and be authentic. Accept who he/she truly is. Remember why your were drawn together in the first place.

3. Establish and maintain your own boundaries and limits very clearly.

4. When there is a conflict, attack the problem, not your partner. Be aware of judgments and criticisms.

5. Do not back your partner into a corner by giving ultimatums or by making threats. It will eventually backfire.

6. Be responsible for your own behaviors and hold your partner accountable for his/hers. Don't play the blame game.

7. Communicate your feelings in a thoughtful and responsible way. Do not use feelings to control.

8. Follow through with what you say you will do. Honour your agreements so that your partner does not feel rejected.

9. Remember there is power in forgiveness, both in forgiving yourself and in forgiving others. There is also strength in touch.

10. The most powerful resource in creating emotional safety is unconditional love. May you be blessed to both give it and receive it.




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Page Updated Thu Jul 27, 2000 7:25pm EDT