Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Practical_Jokes

This reminds me of something a friend of mine did to get
even with a landlord that evicted him. There was a hole
in one of his walls so he put a couple of dead fish in
in the hole. He then plastered over the hole and repainted
the wall. Can you imagine the smell after a month of summer
heat? Nobody could tell where the odor would be coming from
until the bottom of the wall would start to rot. He did some
other things to the house but this was by far the most
subtle and undetectable until some time later.

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One of my favorite practical jokes is to get a somewhat long
spool of rope, and when walking down the street ( acting official..),
get someone to assist you in measuring a distance. Pick a spot near
a corner , go around, and find another person to hold the other end of
the rope. Go across the street and just wait...

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Ask somebody what time it is when he/she is holding
a glass of fluid in the hand attached to the wrist where he/she wears
a watch. You'll be surprised how many people pour fluid onto themselves
trying to be helpful to you.

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Buy a BIG pile of magazines of every conceivable sort, and clip every
coupon for a catalog, trial product, free brochure, etc. Specialty
magazines have the most, such as hobbies or sports (or computers).
Your victim should be deluged with junk mail (and since most such
lists get sold to other lists, the response will be a geometric
function of the number of clips you send).

A friend of mine and I once almost started a junkmail war, but formed
a truce before, because we knew it would follow us around for years...

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It should be noted by people wishing to play practical jokes, that
some people take them dead seriously. Such people tend to escalate
the level of jokes by a couple of magnitudes. My three favorite stories
are from different colleges.

One joker sprinkled finely ground powdered milk underneath his
victim's sheets. It acts like powdered sugar in the sense that, as you
sweat in your sleep, it dissolves and comes up through the sheets onto
your body and into your pores. But your sweat makes it sour, and when it
gets into your pores, it stays there. You smell very strongly of sour
milk for about a week (4 days if you shower and sauna every day). The
next weekend, when the joker was walking back from a party, three guys
jumped him. They were dressed in ski masks and painter's suits (those
light paper/cloth jumpsuits that people wear to paint autobodies). They
stripped, tied, blindfolded and gagged the joker, and spraypainted
him blue. No one was ever caught.

In another case, a yuppy practical joker taped a guy's car closed with
strapping and duct tape (the thing apparently looked like a ball of tape
when he got through). For those of you that don't know, the adhesive on
such tapes ruins a car's paint job, and can, if you try to remove it en masse,
even take off chips of paint and door guards (especially in winter). Two days
later, the yuppie's BMW was found with all four of its racing radials slashed
to ribbons. The yuppy of course, called the police on the guy who's car he
taped. The guy did not admit to slashing the tires, as opposed to the yuppie,
who told the police why he thought the other guy was responsible (ie: he
admitted to the police that he taped the other car). Charges were never
pressed about the BMW (lack of evidence), and charges were pressed about the
car taping. Did the guy actually slash the BMW wheels? He always claimed
that he didn't (of course the last time I knew, the statute of limitations
wasn't up yet).

Then of course there's the people who take the direct route to revenge.
Some guy thought he would make a very large, easy going, farm boy feel more
at home. So he got some fresh pig manure and dumped it in the farm boy's room.
The very large farm boy, apparently lacking a cultured sense of humor,
beat the living shit out of the joker. Then he told the joker that if it
happened again, the joker would eat the pigshit. Nobody doubted him.

So be very careful who you decide to pull a practical joke on, because they
may not think it's as funny as you do.

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Call a mortuary and report the victim dead. Arrange to have his body picked up
at his house sometime when he is at home.

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One of my favorites is to put a couple of ping pong
balls in someones gas tank. The car will start just
fine and will run for a couple of blocks. Then the
balls will get sucked into the gas feed and cause
the car to die. The balls will now float back to the
top of the tank and he will be able to restart the car.
This will be very frustrating to the car owner, espiality
if he works on his own car. First he will replace the
fuel filter then maybe the fuel pump. From there on out
he will be pulling his hair out to figure out what to do
next.

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Another door-related practical joke, good in dorm-life scenarios:

1. Locate undesirable LP record w/ jacket. I recommend "Mystic Moods".
2. Fetch cardboard jacket-- should be in good condition, no split sides
or the such. (Save disc for frisbee-- they shatter in fine fashion when
hurled in a room. But I digress.)
3. Fetch can of shaving cream, e.g. Gillette Foamy or the like. Fill
album cover with shaving cream.
4. With accomplice, go to room of victim. Their door should be closed.
5. Fit open edge of cream-filled album cover under bottom of door.
6. Accomplice braces album cover.
7. Jump on album cover, ejecting shaving cream into dorm room.
8. Run like hell.

Note that if the intended victim's door fits the frame very tightly,
leaving little or no room for the escape of the shaving cream, step
number 7 will instead result in a shaving cream explosion in the
faces of the would-be jokers. This suggests an obvious alternate
"patsy" scenario...

This was funny when tried. Of course, most things are funny at 4 AM.

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My favourite was one I heard that someone at Boston University did to his
roomate, who he hated. Late one night, while the roomate, a very sound
sleeper, was asleep, this chap superglued his...er...male organ...to the
inside of his leg.

The roomate must have been a sound sleeper.

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I guess I am too restrained to perpetrade anything that might get
the victim shot by the cops, or committ credit card fraud in
the process.
But...
My favorite was always the Saran wrap on toilet bowl one.
Second prize goes to the chubby girl eons ago in high school.
A single teacher had made out of line remarks during class about
her size. She got him a paid subscription to a raunchy skin-mag
delivered to the school. He got called on the carpet but good,
and the Superintendent would not believe his protests of innocence..

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Okay!! Here's one I haven't seen:

Get a list on the free classified throwaways in town
and print the following:

RED 86 Vette: Won on game show, must sell, leaving
country. Steal!! First reasonable offer takes...
Call (Victims \#) after 1 am (I work nights) and let it
ring. Desperate, please hurry...

This should bring the desired results for at least a
week...

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We once pulled the reverse trick. The victim's room had a door whose latch
was of the pattern: handle each side; latch mechanism in middle; square rod
passes through latch mechanism and seats in handles (invisible from outside).
We removed the outer handle, took away the rod, and replaced the handle. In
the morning, he couldn't get out of his room. Took the maintenance person
TWO HOURS to figure out what we had done; by which time the victim rather
badly wanted a trip down the corridor!

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To be done in warmer climates: break apart oreo cookies so that
white, creamy filling sticks to 1/2 of cookie (the way most kids
eat them). Discard or eat other 1/2 of cookie without filling.
Place cookies (filling side down) on victim's car -- this should
take several bags of cookies. When the warm sun hits the victim's
car, the cookies ooooooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzeee down the car, leaving
opaque stripes. Really quite a sight! Really!

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We did something like this, the night before a friend got married.
To keep him from waking up, we covered his face with a rag soaked
in ether or chloroform (I'm not sure). We proceeded to shave off
half his mustache.

His intended was slightly disturbed when she heard the news the next
morning, so she decided to get us back. While we were in the ceremony,
she had someone sew up the pants legs to our clothes.

We got the last laugh though. As the newlyweds were getting into
the car, we pulled up in a truck, kidnapped the groom, and drove away.
We took him a few miles out of town, stripped him, and hand-cuffed
him to a road sign. Taught her.

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At one of the dorms here (Techwood) I remember when lots of practical jokes
were played on people. Of course there was the 'penny in the door frame' to
'penny' them in (keep the door from opening). But i always liked the more
original versions. Cover the door with paper, just paper. Let the mark
open the door, find the paper, and break it all down... do this as many times
as you wish. The next time, paper the door and either place a wall of bricks
or cement blocks behind the door (by this time, he just walks thru the paper)
or even prop a trashcan full of water against the door...

These and other jokes became quite popular, but, alas, a new class of students
seems to have moved in (they actually $study$) and these jokes became out-
lawed by the RA's (hall monitors)... (RA's used to help... and were usually
helpful with their pass key)... But these jokes were called a fire hazard (i.e.
would block people in, in a fire...) "so it goes..."

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In the afore-quoted book, such a trick is suggested as a way of getting
even with your bank. Rent a safety-deposit box and fill it with fish. I
don't know how you can prevent them tracing it to you, though...

The oft-quoted "Volkswagen-in-the-bedroom" schtick is good. A simpler variant
avoids the hard labor involved here by subtituting a self-propelled obstacle
for the VW. In this case, one or more sheep.

While the animals themselves are easily removed from the abode, they do
leave behind "the gift that keeps on giving" !

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I remember a practical that failed -- or I guess you could say
that it succeeded too well. In Philadelphia, 10-15 years ago,
a man decided to play a practical joke on his best friend. He
took out an add in the "help wanted" section of the Bulletin,
advertising job openings for demolishing houses. Applicants
were to meet in front of the site at 6:00 AM Saturday morning.
Naturally, the site was the friend's house. The perpetrator imagined
a couple of hundred men waking up his friend and asking to
demolish his house. Alas, the friend was not home. Another
problem was that this was during a recession, with high
unemployment. About 2,000 men showed up. It was apparent
that only a small percentage would be hired, so a few
decided that if they could present the employer with
an accomplished deed, they would be the ones to get the jobs.
Everybody joined in. A few minutes later, they sat down to await
the coming of the employer.

I can't remember what happened after that, if I ever knew. I imagine
it got pretty unpleasant. It made the evening news.

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This is a very simple trick, but you'd be surprised just how effective it is.
When the victim is sleeping, make a shallow paper tray and scotch tape it to
his door AND to the door frame near the knob. Fill it with unpopped popcorn.
When he opens the door (from the inside, obviously) he'll have popcorn flung
all over the place. Not only does it pack quite a little surprise, it also
takes forever to find all of the popcorn afterwards.

It works! Someone tried this on me when I was in first-year of my undergrad
days.

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My favorite practical joke was performed back in high school on the director
of our Audio Visual Dept. Upon purchasing a brand new, expensive video
camera, he set it up in the AV lounge so he could watch us hoodlums
on a monitor in his office. While he wasn't looking we taped a clear
piece of plastic over the lens of the camera. Then the designated
provacateur made sure that he was watching while another went up to the
lens with a squeeze bottle of highly caustic liquid, and crusty, grime
laden rag, to "clean the lens". Fred jumped over his desk and knocked
over a couple of onlookers before realizing what was going on.

( All the standard things happened to this guy too! remove all the screws
from his chair, disconnect ( or reverse ) key components of his phone,
placed packing material in his fan. )

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When I was living in the dorms on campus, frequently someone with
a car would offer to drive into town on a rainy day, to save a
wet bike ride. There were always takers. I have a car, so
I took many friends to the store, post office, or Bank. If
someone banked at the same place as I did and I knew they were
going to make a deposit, sometimes I would get a few bucks together and
also make a deposit. BUT, as I was standing at the little table
(you know with the little chained pens) I would take a deposit
slip and write THIS IS A STICK-UP GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY IN YOUR
DRAWER on the back. Then I would casually slide it over to my friend
and hand it to him, face up. After making my deposit I would
leave the bank. The friend would step up and hand the teller
the deposit slip. They always check both sides to see if any
additional checks are listed. Sitting across the street was
a good place to see the cops pull up. Usually things took
about 20 minutes before he convinced them he was not a bank
robber. You have to pick a friend with integrity and
a quick mind though. If he panics and gives your name,
you are history. I only tried it twice.

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Practical Joke 1: After making sure that the victim is out or sound
asleep (if the victim is in make sure he can't get out),
put a line of baby powder along the bottom crack of the
door (or on a piece of paper and slide it under the door --
hold onto one end). Then use the blow-dryer to spray the
powder into a fine mist that will cover everything in the
room.

Practical Joke 2: Make a small, off-center hole in a can of shaving
cream and then heave the can into the victims open door.
As the pressure spews the cream out, it will spin the can
and create a real mess all over the place.

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A simple yet effective joke for all seasons...

Fill the sugar bowl with salt...

Mmmmm...sure makes them wheaties/coffee/etc taste good !

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Do it the Caltech way. Dump water on the victim's bed until it's soaked, and
pour liquid nitrogen on the bed until the water freezes. You're right that
it's heavy -- so heavy that the victim must wait for it to melt before he
can get rid of it.

PS - It destroys the mattress covering, so be prepared to replace the mattress.

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Back in the OLD days while in college, a "friend" of mine one day used the
pointed end of his umbrella to knock on our dorm room door. He poked so
hard that the point went all the way through the door (cheap door). A
couple of days later, a janitor noticed the "bullet" hole and called the
police. My room mate and I decided just to play it dumb; "Gee officer,
we didn't notice a hole there", "We never heard a shot", etc. The police
never did find the bullet nor where it hit the wall on the other side.

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For a more light-hearted collection of jokes, see the section on
Hugh Troy in Merry Gentlemen and One Lady, by J. Bryan, III.
Troy's jokes did not get people in trouble or stink up innocent people's
apartments; they did cause utter bewilderment worthy of talk.bizarre.

I think Bryan also tells of the time Robert Benchley and a fellow
Harvard undergraduate, dressed in work clothes, went to the door of
a house on a veddy nice square in Boston and said to the maid,
"We're here for the sofa."
"Which one?" she said.
This was a dangerous moment, but Benchley saw a sofa in the
corner of the living room and said, "That one."
They then walked, carrying the sofa, to another house on the
same square, rang the bell, and told a second maid, "We're here with
the sofa."
"Um, I guess you can put it there," she said; and so they did.

Benchley heard, in a roundabout way, that the lady of the
first house visited the lady of the second one some six months later
and recognized her old sofa.

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Another good one that I've heard about is to put cherry Kool-aid in
the shower head.

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