Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Practical_Jokes

A great trick I have gotten away with many a time requires a little
preparation, simply to go to the grocery and get a few packages of Kool-Aid.
Then while your 'prey' is away, simply spread it nice and liberally into his
bed, best if done in stripes, to leave his body in different colors. This
works best in a warm room where he is sure to sweat during the night to the
utmost.

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If you have access to a two(or more) line phone, this is a great one,
dial the first six numbers of your prey's phone number, and put that line on
hold, then dial the other number; a pizza place, or his girlfriend is good for
starters, then escalate to college offices, activist terrorist organizations
and the CIA are good from then on. After you dial the second number, quickly
put the second number on hold, then dial the last number of the first number
and push BOTH buttons down at the same time to activate both calls at once,
then listen, but don't laugh, or they might hear you and do worse in return.

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Try taping a drunk to his bed. Get a large roll of masking tape and
when he passes out wind it around him and the bed.

Another good one to do with a drunk is to put one of those fake bald
heads over his hair. Then when he wakes up ask him if he knows what
he did last night.

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I am far too Nice a person to ever have done these, but a friend of mine...:
1. Leave old trash paperbacks around launderettes and other public places.
Write inside the front cover: Property of (Victim). I need this book
for my thesis. If found, please return to (address) for \$10.00 reward.
2. Post ads around town for a garage sale (or open house) at Victim's house
starting at 7:00 AM next Sunday.
3. Call lots of people and identify yourself as the victim, and say "I was
walking throught the neighborhood recently and just realized I dropped
my wallet. Could you please check the sidewalk in front of your house
and let me know if you find it? Thanks $so$ much. My phone number is...

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How about some chocolate Ex-lax in brownies.

Or maybe some ambesol in the mouthwash.

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The best practical joke I know of is from MASH. However, you need a reputation
as an incorrigable joker for it to work. Just let the person know you are
going to play a big one on him within 5 days. (Pick your time frame.) And
that he will be powerless to stop you. If you do it right, he'll worry himself
to pieces and make a fool of himself. Then DO NOTHING.

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Go to one of those miniature golf courses that has a windmill hole.
Replace the motor with one that can spin the windmill at about 1000 RPM.
Then illuminate it with a strobe light so it looks like its moving at
about the same speed as before.

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How `bout those relatives that seem to stay longer than expected....

If you had someone staying at your house, especially if they're traveling
with small children, help them pack up the car. Slip some limburger (sp?)
cheese into their car somewhere where it'll slowly get warm. You can
imagine the consternation when they pull to a rest stop to change junior's
diapers and find nothing there. Or the line, "Did you hit a skunk or ...?"

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1) Get a piece of plastic as long as the victims bed and a little over
twice as wide. Remove his mattress from his bed frame and line the frame
with the plastic. Tape the plastic to the bed if necessary. Fill with water
(a hose connected to the tub is helpful). Fold the rest of the plastic
over the water, and make the bed. (Done to my roommate by mutual friend.)

2) If your victim has a roommate, switch all their possesions. Or, turn
all the posters upside down and hang the furniture from the ceiling. (Both
done to me.)

3) If your victim $is$ your roommate, switch the material in your waste
baskets and pull his bed away from the wall a quarter of an inch
every day.

4) Wait till your victim is away for a weekend. Dip everything plastic
(pens, phones, etc.) in liquid nitrogen, break it, and stick it together
again. Everything plastic will break when he picks it up.

5) Polish the floor and stick teflon to the legs of select items of
furniture. (The polished floor is a bit of a giveaway, but teflon isn't
dramatically slick if there's much grime.)

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Maybe a bit on the "im"-practical side but if REVENGE is what you
want...

I s'pose the keyword (superglue) says it all. The places I've like to hit
are the person's car - namely the dust caps on the tire valve stems,
the gas cap, and the windshield wipers. Pretty nasty, ain't I?

Then there's always putting a paper bag of shit on the person's front
step, setting it on fire, knocking on the door, and running like hell.
The victim will come to the door, see the fire, and will usually try
to stomp it out with his foot.

I'll be the first that these are rather terrible and childish but...

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This was done to me when I was in college and living in a fraternity house;
Take someone's door and hide it for a while. You would really be surprised
how often you want to close the dang thing and it's not there to do it!

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A recent favourite in our residence has involved
the kidnapping of some small beloved object (teddy bear,
harp seal, stuffed banana, etc.). Once this object has
disappeared and before its owner has noticed it's gone,
suspend it from a window in the dining hall, tv lounge,
physics building,... If small animals don't work for you,
perhaps mens undergarments stolen from the laundry might?

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I think I have one of these books. It is by George Heyduke (Hayduke?). When
I read it, I was practically overcome with mirth. Some of the things he sug-
gests are hilarious! It says right in the book that it is written for enter-
tainment purposes only, and not to try any of the ideas, so I guess he has his
behind covered. Some of the better ideas that I remember are:

1. "Time bombs." This is the phrase he uses to describe chicken parts.
Easily gotten at any supermarket, they are innocent little items that
can be carried almost anywhere (in a baggie, if neccessary). But when
stashed in an out-of-the-way place, like under furniture cushions in the
house or under car seats or in the trunk in a car, and given a little
time, YOW! Watch out for the smell! Gotten ripped off by a used-car
dealer? Wait awhile, then take some test drives in some other cars.
With a few strategically placed "bombs" in a car with the windows closed
in the hot sun.... use your imagination. Getting evicted? Remove some
outlet covers or switch covers and stuff some of these babies down inside
the wall. They'll be impossible to find, and won't start to smell until
after you're long gone.

2. Parties. Parties are great fun to plan, especially if you plan them for
someone else to host (as a surprise). Print up a few flyers for a party
at your victim's house and distribute them where undesirables will be
sure to see them. For example, you might put up flyers around biker bars
advertising "all the beer you can drink", and "crowning of Miss Biker", or
something equivalent. Even if the reluctant host doesn't let them in his
house when the horde shows up, he will still wind up with a party on his
lawn. Of course, if you're his neighbor this gives you a good reason to
complain to the cops or to his landlord, etc.

3. Set your victim against a third party, or against another victim. Let
other people do your dirty work for you. Here's an example: Call up
the electric or gas company and impersonate your victim. Request that
service be terminated for a week or two (going on vacation, or whatever).
As soon as that happens, call your victim. Impersonate an officer of the
gas/electric company, and be very nasty and abusive, saying that service
has been discontinued because of non-payment of bills. This should rile up
your victim, asasuming that he HAS paid his bill and knows it. At any rate,
tell him he must come down to the office immediately to discuss the problem
or you will send the police to his house to collect, or something like that.
Then, once you have him mad, and know he is going to the gas/electric
company, call up that company. Impersonate your victim. Be very nasty,
and try to get into an argument with a supervisor. Wind up the conver-
sation by saying that you are coming down there right now with a gun, and
you are going to kill somebody. Then hang up.

Or, if you call enough times so that people associate your voice with his
name, you could call back some time after the argument and make a bomb
threat. They would recognize the voice as being 'him', and knowing that
he was disgruntled would make him a prime suspect.

4. Buy a cheap toy gun. Plant it in your victim's car. Then call the police
and anonomously report that you saw a suspicious armed person in the area,
and give the vehicle's description and location. A variation of this would
be to plant baggies full of phony drugs. He probably won't be arrested,
but he will probably be stopped and harrassed.

5. Enter subscriptions in his name to the most filthy homo/bondage/snuff
magazines you can find, and change his address by one so his NEIGHBOR
receives them. His neighbors will not only be disgusted by his perver-
sions, they will also be irritated by the fact that he is too dumb to
even get his address right on a subscription.

6. If you can get one of his credit cards, or even a charge receipt or
carbon copy of one, use the account to order gifts through the mail.
Order gifts for REAL friends and relatives of the victim, and have
them delivered directly to the recipient. It puts him in an embarras-
sing position to have to explain to his family and friends how his
gift to them must be returned. Also, can you imagine the guy trying
to convince the bank that HE did not make the purchases? Don't use his
charge accounts for your own benefit, or you will very likely be caught.

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Another joke which one can easily perpetrate goes like this:

Fill a plastic, or rubber, tube with water. Hold the tube
vertically up into the air and with the thumb of one hand
plug up the bottom hole of the tube and place it next to
your ear (hide the fact that you are plugging the hole).

Next, call a friend, or victim, and tell him that you are
hearing something really strange through the tube and he
should come over and listen in on it. When he gets close
enough to your ear to listen turn the tube towards his ear
and release your thumb.

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My favorite was to place a singles' advertisment for the victim.
I'll leave it to you to think of what to say, but my favorite was
(for a heterosexual person) to place an ad looking for someone of the
same sex.

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I believe this is from "The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks."

First, go to the library and find some phone books for large cities.
In one of the phone books you should be able to find a person who has
the same name as the target. Then go down to the post office and file
a change of address for the target, forwarding his mail to himself in
a far away city.

If I remember correctly the book states that this is very illegal and
is only included for amusement.

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Enter subscriptions in his name to the most filthy homo/bondage/snuff
magazines you can find, and change his address by one so his NEIGHBOR
receives them. His neighbors will not only be disgusted by his perver-
sions, they will also be irritated by the fact that he is too dumb to
even get his address right on a subscription.

An ex-brother-in-law of mine did something like this for revenge on a
downstairs neighbor. He put a very kinky ad in the Berkeley Barb, which
included said neighbor's phone number -- "call any time".

Another person I know told me he once ordered some phony business stationary,
and used it to place an order for a 70,000 pound steel coil to be delivered
to this person's (a high school teacher) address. The coil showed up
and got dumped on the front lawn.

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One of the best ones I heard, was to do the following:

During winter time in any part of the country where it gets really
cold, take your victims mattress, soak in water until it has reached
it's saturation level, then hang it outside until it freezes solid.
Once solid, replace on the victim's bed and make the bed up to look
like normal. Boy will they be surprised when they go to bed.

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Next time when you are having dinner, keep an empty jug of water on the table.
When somebody asks you to pass the jug, pretend while picking it up that it is
full of water and heavy. Keep the jug on the table near the victim. The
victim will apply what he/she considers is appropriate strength needed to pick
up the jug. This will cause the jug to jerk up to a significant height. The
sight is very funny and so is the victim's face.

Must try to believe. Even the most prude of your aunts will not mind being a
victim of this joke.

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AH yes.. ye ole highschool days.... (seems everyone knows of or has done a
VW bug stunt already). We also had a rather unliked teacher, whose VW was
carried up onto the gymnasium stage on the last day of school. Needless to
say, every year after that he arrived on the last day of school driving
the cab of his brother's semi.

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This is more of a practical joke WITH a Beetle . . . . MIT has some very wide,
very long corridors that turn out to be VW-accessible. One night a guy I knew
started cruising the corridors. The practical joke came when the campus police
started chasing him. He whipped around a corner, into a freight elevator, and
away. They never found him.

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My favourite practical joke involves on of those long line-ups
for tickets to a concert or something. First you go to the front
of the line and then walk the entire length, looking over everyone
as if you were trying to find a friend. When you get to the back you
walk back to the front doing the same thing, but this time even
slower. Then when you reach the front you turn and quickly run
to the back again, machine-gunning everybody as you go. Then you
go up to the ticket office and say "Get it?" This is a classic
joke and as you can see it is also quite practical, since it gets
you to the front of the line very fast.

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If you live in a dorm with tiles on the bathroom door, pour rubbing alcohol
in the cracks, wait for your victim to go into the bathroom and seat
himself, and light the alcohol.

If you can get into your victim's house, staple the sides of many paper
cups together so that they are in a ring or matrix configuration (anything
too large to drag out the door), and fill them all with water.

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A friend who lived in Durham sent a postcard to his girlfriend in Milwaukee
that said "Here is a check for the twenty dollars I owe you." and had a
blank spot and a piece of tape on it.

Six letters came to him from Milwaukee, some with photos, none from people
he knew, and all expressing interest in a personal to which they alluded.
One was from a male. He assumed that his girlfriend had placed a personal
with his address in the paper there; she had just enlisted help in letter-
writing.

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One good practical joke that I've seen done to somebody:

1) Take an old record album cover.

2) Fill the insides with shaving cream.

3) Place it halfway under a locked door to the victim's office, home, room,
etc. with the open end inside the room.

4) Jump on it.

Another, if you can get access to the victim's key chain is to switch all
his keys for keys that look exactly the same, but don't fit the locks he's
trying to open. If you can be around for this one, it's much more fun to
watch the person go crazy as he cannot open anything he owns.

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