Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Pick_Up

-= pick-up line humor =-= 405 =------------------------------------------------

Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 406 =------------------------------------------------

Look at the tag on the back of a girl's shirt. When she turns around, say,
"Just checking to see if you were made in heaven."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 407 =------------------------------------------------

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 408 =------------------------------------------------

So...what part of heaven are you from?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 409 =------------------------------------------------

I must be in heaven, because you're an angel.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 410 =------------------------------------------------

You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 411 =------------------------------------------------

A man approached me at a bar and asked me if my feet hurt. I looked at him
strangely and said, "No, why." He replied, "because you are obviously an angel
who has just descended onto this earth and you are used to flying, and not
walking"

OH PLEASE!!! (It didn't work)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 412 =------------------------------------------------

I'd like to know the ingredients in the recipe that cooked you up...after I've
had a good taste of you, of course.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 413 =------------------------------------------------

What screws like a tiger and winks? (follow it up with a wink)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 414 =------------------------------------------------

Screw me if I am wrong, but you want to fuck me, don't you?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but your name is Gertrude right?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you look like you want to kiss me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 415 =------------------------------------------------

I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 416 =------------------------------------------------

You make my softwear turn to hardwear!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 417 =------------------------------------------------

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 418 =------------------------------------------------

He: 'Ello Darlin', fancy a fuck?
She: No!
He: Do you mind lying down while I do?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 419 =------------------------------------------------

I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast
one.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 420 =------------------------------------------------

Laugh if you will, but this one did actually work, when I tried it on a girl
after a night of countless failures:

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead
say no.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 421 =------------------------------------------------

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this
tall...I'm sitting on my wallet."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 422 =------------------------------------------------

May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 423 =------------------------------------------------

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or
not I'm allergic to sex.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 424 =------------------------------------------------

He: You're gorgeous. I'd really love to invite you out sometime.
She: No, thanks.
She: Aw, c'mon! Lower you're standards a little. *I* did...
Gal: [SLAP!]
He: I guess a blow job is out of the question, then?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 425 =------------------------------------------------

Always take a screw with you and put it in your pocket.
Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 426 =------------------------------------------------

Guy walks up to a girl in bar, slides his arm around her. She looks at him as
he says, "Hi Kate." She says, "I'm not Kate." His hand slips lower as he says,
"But you sure feel like her."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 427 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby are you wearing your space underwear tonight? Because your ass is out
of this world!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 428 =------------------------------------------------

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 429 =------------------------------------------------

You look familiar. Aren't you that girl that keeps appearing in my dreams?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 430 =------------------------------------------------

So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 431 =------------------------------------------------

What's your name, so I'll know who I'll be dreaming about tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 432 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you have a quarter I can borrow?
What for?
I told my mother that I would call her when I fell in love with the girl of my
dreams!
or
I want to call your mother and thank her for having such a gorgeous child!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 433 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's
putting me up for adoption.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 434 =------------------------------------------------

You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 435 =------------------------------------------------

You look just like my mother.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 436 =------------------------------------------------

Ya know, my mother would just *love* you if I brought you to my place tonight
and then to her place tomorrow.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 437 =------------------------------------------------

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 438 =------------------------------------------------

Looking at you makes my hospital beeper start to vibrate.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 439 =------------------------------------------------

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 440 =------------------------------------------------

Boy, it sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 441 =------------------------------------------------

You are hot stuff!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 442 =------------------------------------------------

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 443 =------------------------------------------------

Is there a fire in here or we just standing too close together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 444 =------------------------------------------------

Was that you, or did the earth just move?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 445 =------------------------------------------------

Is it cold outside, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 446 =------------------------------------------------

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 447 =------------------------------------------------

You're so hot you give me the chills.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 448 =------------------------------------------------

You're hotter than Georgia asphalt on a summer day in hell!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 449 =------------------------------------------------

It's not the heat outside, it's not the humidity, it's you!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 450 =------------------------------------------------

Ya know, you look really *hot*! You must be real reason for global warming.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 451 =------------------------------------------------

So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men/women excited
and warm all over?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 452 =------------------------------------------------

You remind me of bacon, the way you sizzle.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 453 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue/G.Q.?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 454 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't I see you in the latest beauty pageant?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 455 =------------------------------------------------

So how many years in a row were you the beauty queen?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 456 =------------------------------------------------

So, how will I ever get to see you again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 457 =------------------------------------------------

Is is possible that me might see each other again soon?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 458 =------------------------------------------------

Grab them in the rump and ask, "Pardon me, is this seat taken?"

(I did that in bed last week, and she said, "Yeah, I'm sitting on it." Okay, so
it doesn't work 100% of the time)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 459 =------------------------------------------------

I'm no good at opening lines so why don't we pretend we know each other.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 460 =------------------------------------------------

Hi. Do you come here often? (Say it to a waitress that you find attractive.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 461 =------------------------------------------------

Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
No, why?
Because I can sure see myself in your pants!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 462 =------------------------------------------------

Did you clean your pants with Windex?
No, why?
I can practically see myself in them.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 463 =------------------------------------------------

Was your father a welder?
No, why?
Because those sure are acetylene tits!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 464 =------------------------------------------------

Was you father an alien?
No, why?
Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 465 =------------------------------------------------

Which is easier? Getting into those tight pants or getting out of them?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 466 =------------------------------------------------

Said to someone wearing really tight pants or jeans:

Excuse me, but I couldn't help wondering...how does one get into pants so tight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 467 =------------------------------------------------

I was walking down a street and a man stopped his car and said, "I think you
would look especially beautiful with your eyes closed (dramatic pause) in my
bed"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 468 =------------------------------------------------

Once someone said to me, "You have such beautiful long blonde hair, it would
look lovely spread across my pillow."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 469 =------------------------------------------------

Do you know that your hair and my pillow are perfectly color-coordinated?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 470 =------------------------------------------------

I've been noticing you not noticing me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 471 =------------------------------------------------

Did I just notice you checking me out, or did my ego flare up again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 472 =------------------------------------------------

Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 473 =------------------------------------------------

That's enough of undressing me with your eyes. Let's get out of here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 474 =------------------------------------------------

Ever played leap frog naked?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 475 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to see me naked?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 476 =------------------------------------------------

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 477 =------------------------------------------------

If you think that's funny, you should see me naked.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 478 =------------------------------------------------

Nice day for weather.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 479 =------------------------------------------------

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I
want?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 480 =------------------------------------------------

Have you ever eaten out at a buffet?
How about you lie down on the table and let me show you how.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 481 =------------------------------------------------

Can I flirt with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 482 =------------------------------------------------

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 483 =------------------------------------------------

It must be cold where you're standing, but it's 98.6 right over here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 484 =------------------------------------------------

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 485 =------------------------------------------------

So... How am I doin'?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 486 =------------------------------------------------

(Tap your thigh) You just think this is my leg.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 487 =------------------------------------------------

Top Ten Pick-Up Lines From The American Revolution

10. Hey, baby, my musket's loaded. Got a target?
9. Hey, baby, wanna play "Paul Revere" and ride my pony?
8. Hey, baby, I'm Thomas Paine.
7. I got your "Sovereign Nation."
6. You're suspected for sedition, so I've gotta pump you for information.
5. The British are coming, so why ain't we?
4. I'm into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
3. Wanna get tarred and feathered?
2. Who needs liberty when you've got libido?
1. You wanna Minute Man?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 488 =------------------------------------------------

Top Ten Sleaziest Pick-up Lines

10. Like the look of your crotch.
9. I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
8. I've got a condom with your name on it.
7. Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
6. Can you believe it? It's been more than fifteen minutes since I've had sex.
5. My friend and I made a bet and I need to check if those are implants.
4. I know a charming little motel with a cheap hourly rate.
3. I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
2. Erections like these don't grow on trees you know.
1. You know, doggy-style isn't passe anymore.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 489 =------------------------------------------------

Heard while on spring break:
You know, I'd fuck you so hard you'd learn from it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 490 =------------------------------------------------

Another spring break try:
Hypothetically speaking, if I were to fuck you, would you let me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 491 =------------------------------------------------

Say, I hear chicks dig lava lamps...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 492 =------------------------------------------------

She: What do you do for a living?
He: I'm a starving artist and I want to eat you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 493 =------------------------------------------------

A: You are a real social butterfly.
B: Huh. More like, a caterpillar.
A: Well, wanna get to the fertility stage?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 494 =------------------------------------------------

You are the proof that God has a sense of humor.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 495 =------------------------------------------------

You're what God was thinking of when He said, "Let there be woman."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 496 =------------------------------------------------

I'll make you see God tonight!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 497 =------------------------------------------------

I'm a math major. What's your cosine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 498 =------------------------------------------------

Don't ever try this.

Me: So...what do you study?
She: Genetics. Breeding different animals and such.
Me: Like, humans and chimpanzees?
She: Yes (Cozying up to another guy) Bobby here was my first subject.
Me: I see. So...who is the human and who is the chimpanzee?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 499 =------------------------------------------------

(I enter an open party at the home of an attractive girl)

She: You look sharp
Me: Justifiably so. When arriving at the altar of the goddess, one needs to be
in his best attire.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 500 =------------------------------------------------

What do you do for a living, and how can I be of help?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 501 =------------------------------------------------

I am playing with your mind like you have been playing with my hormones.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 502 =------------------------------------------------

I bet I can tell you what's on my mind.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 503 =------------------------------------------------

While submerging a lit cigarette lighter inside his mouth, approach an exquisite
young lady with the following: Guess for whom this fire inside me burns?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 504 =------------------------------------------------

I was sitting here holding my cigarette when I realised I'd rather be holding
you.

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

Freind2@excite.com

Visitors: 00424

Page Updated Wed Jun 9, 1999 11:24am EDT