Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Micellanious_Yo_Mamma_Jokes

Yo momma is so stupid, I tell her to buy me a color t.v., and she asks,What color?"< Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo momma so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice Yo momma so stupid she threw a brick at the floor and missed Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice. Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home. Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's Yo momma so stupid she called information to get the number for 411 ... Yo Mama's so ugly when she walks by the bathroom the toilet flushes Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . . for a quote! Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo momma so ugly Ted Danson wouldn't date her! Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job Aplication Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Your mama is so old, she dreams re-runs. Yo momma breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo momma twice the man you are. Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo momma middle name is Rambo. Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push me 'round no more." Yo momma so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. Yo momma is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS" Yo momma threw a frizbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet. Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle. Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper. Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree. Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. Yo momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles. Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude. Yo momma has no ears.... I seen her trying on sunglasses... Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo momma so poor she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money Your mamas reminds me of a toilet. Shes fat, shes white and she smells like shit Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN!" Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald’s! Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Yo momma so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home. Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch. Yo momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler" Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper Yo momma so stupid She went to Disney World and saw a sign that said "Disney World Left" so she went home. Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said Levi's Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?" Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote! Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like crap because he would rather kiss her ass. Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! •Yo momma so old she's in Jesus’ yearbook! Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse Yo momma so old she’s blind from the big bang •Yo momma so old even God calls her mother! Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bath water. Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat! Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a Band-Aid! Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo momma so greasy Exxon buys Oil from her Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter! Yo momma teeth are so yellow I can't believe its not butter Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared. Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo momma so bald you can see what’s on her mind Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida. Yo momma so flat she makes the wall jealous! Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can seen people waving. Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license! Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb. Yo momma so short she does back-flips under the bed. Yo momma so short she models for trophies. Yo momma so short she is the original Q-tip Yo momma so short she poll vaults with a toothpick Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bath water. Yo momma so nasty that her crap is glad to escape. Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. Yo momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarantine since before she was born Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo momma Yo momma so nasty her teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!!! Yo momma so nasty she has two pussies and they both stink. Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! Yo momma like the Pillsbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!>

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Page Updated Tue Jun 8, 1999 10:46pm EDT