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Bar Jokes
Bar Jokes 1Bar Jokes 2Bar Jokes 3Bar Jokes 4Bar Jokes 5Bar Jokes 6Bar Jokes 7Bar Jokes 8Bar Jokes 9Bar Jokes 10Bar Jokes 11Bar Jokes 12Bar Jokes 13Bar Jokes 14Barney Jokes
Barney Jokes 1Barney Jokes 2Blonde Jokes
Dumb Blonde JokesBlonde Jokes 1Buisness Jokes
Buisness JokesBuisness 2Buisness 3Buisness 4Buisness 5buisness 6buisness 7buisness 8Buisness 9Buisness 10Buisness 11Buisness 12Chicken Jokes
Chicken JokesClinton Jokes
Clinton JokesClinton Jokes 2Educational Jokes
Education 1Education 2Education 3The Nerdy Test Part 1The Nerdy Test Part 2Elephant 1Elephant Jokes
Elephant 3Elephant 2Holiday Jokes
Holiday JokesHoliday Jokes 2Holiday Jokes 3Holiday Jokes 4Just do it Jokes
Just do it jokes A to EJust do it Jokes E to IJust Do It Jokes J to QJust Do It Jokes R to ZMen and Weman Jokes
Men and Weman Jokes 1Men and Weman 2Men and Weman Jokes 3Men and Weman Jokes 4Men And Weman Jokes 5Micellanious
63 Ways to tick of a CopMiscellaneous Jokes
Miscellaneous Jokes 1Music Jokes
Music Jokes 1Pick Up Lines
Pick Up Lines 1Pick Up Lines 2Pick Up Lines 3Pick Up Lines 4Pick Up LinesPick Up Lines 6Pick Up Lines 7Practical jokes
Practical Jokes 1Practical Jokes 2Practical Jokes 3Practical Jokes 4Practical Jokes 5Practical Jokes 6Red Neck Jokes
Red Neck Jokes 1Red Neck Jokes 2Red Neck Jokes 3Yo Mamma Jokes
Yo Mamma is so FatMicellanious Yo Mamma Jokes 1Micellanious Yo Mamma Jokes 2Yo Mamma Jokes 2|
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| RACERS do it with their horses RACERS like to come in first RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall RADAR ENGINEERS do it till their GHz (giga-hertz) RADIO AMATEURS do it with more frequency RADIO AMATEURS do it with two meters {21} RADIO ANNOUNCERS can turn your dial RADIO ENGINEERS do it till it MegaHertz RADIO ENGINEERS do it with frequency RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it RADIOCASTERS do it in the air RADIOLOGISTS X-ray it RADIOLOGISTS do it with high frequency RAFTERS do it rapidly RAFTERS do it with long, hard strokes RAILROADERS do it on track RALLY DRIVERS do it sideways RANGERS do it in the woods RAPPERS pump it up RAQUETBALL PLAYERS do it with blue balls RAY TRACERS do it on any available platform {22} REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots RECEPTIONISTS do it all day at their desks RECEPTIONISTS do it for anyone RECEPTIONISTS do it on the phone RECEPTIONISTS do it with men AND women RECEPTIONISTS do it with the general public RECURSIVE PROGRAMMERS break it down RECURSIVE PROGRAMMERS do it over and over and over..... RECYCLERS do it again and again and again REFERENCE LIBRARIANS know where to find it FAST REPELLERS do it with ropes REPORTERS do it daily REPORTERS do it for a story REPORTERS do it for the sensation it causes REPORTERS do it infront of a camera REPRODUCTIVE PHYSIOLOGISTS do it for a living. REPUBLICANS do as their lobbyists tell them to REPUBLICANS do it to poor people RESEARCH PROFESSORS do it only if they get grants RESEARCHERS are sill trying to confirm that they are doing it RESEARCHERS are still looking for it RESEARCHERS do it with control RETAILERS move their merchandise REVENUE CANADA EMPLOYEES do it to everyone RIKER is number one. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION RISC ASSEMBLY PROGRAMMERS do it 1073741824 times a second ROBOTS do it mechanically ROCKET SCIENTISTS do it with higher thrust ROCKET SCIENTISTS do it with thrust ROCKY does it in a ring ROCKY does it with Bullwinkle ROCKY does it with big black men ROLLER-SKATERS like to roll around ROLLING STONES MAGAZINE does it where they rock RONALD REAGAN does it for the Gipper RONALD REAGAN fell asleep while doing it RONALD REAGAN forgot how to do it ROOFERS do it on top ROOSTERS do it coquettishly ROSEANNE ARNOLD does it while singing the National Anthem ROSS PEROT does it - it's just that simple ROWERS do it with a fast drive ROWERS do it with a long stroke ROYAL GUARDS do it in uniforms RPN with it do PROGRAMERS FOURTH RUBBISH COLLECTORS do it by emptying their sacks RUGBY PLAYERS do it with leather balls RUGBY PLAYERS do it with odd shaped balls RUGBY PLAYERS do it with their hookers RUNNERS do it with vigor RUNNERS get into more pants SAIL HACKERS do it with [control] SAIL HACKERS follow the procedure SAIL HACKERS have high service levels SAILORS are best on the sheets SAILORS do it ad nauseam SAILORS do it after cruising the seven seas SAILORS get blown off shore SAILORS like to be blown SALESPEOPLE have a way with their tongues SALESPEOPLE push harder SALESPEOPLE use high-pressure techniques SANTA CLAUS does it at the North Pole SANTA CLAUS does it down the chimney SANTA CLAUS does it in your stockings SANTA CLAUS does it once a year SANTA CLAUS does it with elves SAX PLAYERS are horny SAX PLAYERS do it in groups SAXOPHONISTS have curved ones SCEPTICS doubt it can be done SCIENTISTS discovered it SCIENTISTS do it experimentally SCIENTISTS do it with plenty of research SCOTSMEN do it with amazing grace SCOTSMEN do it with the sporans SCOTSMEN just do it SCUBA DIVERS do it deeper SCUBA DIVERS do it with a buddy SCULPTORS beat at it until bits fall off SCULPTORS do it with clay SECOND FIDDLES do it vilely SECRETARIES do it for their bosses SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5 SEISMOLOGISTS do it when the earth shakes SEISMOLOGISTS make the earth move SEMANTICISTS do it with meaning SENATORS do it on the floor SERGEANTS do it privately SET THEORISTS do it with cardinals SET THERISTS do it in groups SHAKESPEAREAN SCHOLARS do it, or don't do it, that is the question SHAREWARE PROGRAMMERS let you try it for free SHEEP do it when led astray SHEEP do it with Kiwis (NZ has a reputation for that sort of thing) SHUBERT didn't finish it SHIPPERS do it overnight SIGNALLERS do it with frequency til it Hertz SIMULATION HACKERS do it with models SIMULATORS do it continously & discretely SINGERS do it with microphones SKATERS do it on ice SKEET SHOOTERS do it 25 times in 9 different positions SKELETONS do it with a bone SKIERS do it spread eagled SKIERS do it with poles SKIERS go down fast SKUNKS do it instinctively SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop SKYDIVERS do it at great heights SKYDIVERS do it in the air SKYDIVERS do it sequentially {23} SKYDIVERS do it spread-eagle SKYDIVERS go down faster SKYDIVERS go in harder {24} SKYDIVERS never do it without a chute SLAVES are masters at it SLAVES do it for the maters SMALL BOAT SAILORS do it by pumping, rocking, and ooching SMALLTALK PROGRAMMERS do it graphically SMALLTALK PROGRAMMERS have more methods SNAKES do it in the grass SNIPERS do it with a single shot SNOBS do it better than you SOAP MANUFACTURERS do it with Safeguard SOAP MANUFACTURERS do it with Zest SOAP MANUFACTURERS do it with lava SOCCER PLAYERS do it for 90 minutes" -the length of a soccer game SOCCER PLAYERS do it for kicks SOCCER PLAYERS do it in 90 minutes SOCCER PLAYERS have better ball control SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls SOCIOLOGISTS do it with class SOCIOLOGISTS do it with standard deviations SOCIOLOGY MAJORS do it with a conscience SOFTWARE DESIGNERS do it over and over until they get it right SOFTWARE DESIGNERS do it with system SOFTWARE RELIABLITY SPECIALISTS keep it up longer SOFTWARE TESTERS do it over and over again SOLAR ASTRONOMERS can't do it where the sun don't shine SOLAR ASTRONOMERS do it all day SOLAR ASTRONOMERS do it with flare SOLDIERS do it in a uniform fashion SOLDIERS do it in an orderly fashion SOLDIERS do it on command SOLDIERS do it standing erect SOLDIERS do it with a machine gun SOLDIERS do shoot it SOLDIERS parade it SONARMEN do it aurally SOPRANOS do it in unison SOVIET HARDLINE LEADERS do it with tanks SPARROWS do it for a lark {25} SPEAKERS do it with pointers SPEAKING CLOCKS do it on the third stroke SPECTROSCOPISTS do it until it hertz SPECTROSCOPISTS do it with frequency and intensity SPEECH COMMUNICATION MAJORS give good oral SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS do it orally SPELEOLOGISTS make a science of going deeper SPELLCASTERS do it with their rods/staves/wands SPELUNKERS do it in narrow dark places SPELUNKERS do it in the hole SPELUNKERS do it underground SPELUNKERS do it while wearing heavy rubber protective devices SPIES do it under cover SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay SPRINTERS do it after years of conditioning SPRINTERS do it in less than 10 seconds SQL PROGRAMMERS do it with relatives (Relational dabasess) ST MATTHEW did it passionately STAGE HANDS do it behind the scenes STAGE HANDS do it for every scene STAGE HANDS do it in the dark STAGE HANDS do it on cue STAGE HANDS do it on the fly STAMP COLLECTORS do it in sets STAND-UP COMICS do it standing up STATISTICIANS do it continuously but discretely STATISTICIANS do it when it counts STATISTICIANS do it with 95% confidence STATISTICIANS do it with large numbers STATISTICIANS do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected STATISTICIANS do it with standard deviations STATISTICIANS do it with two-tail T tests STATISTICIANS do it; after all, it's only normal STATISTICIANS probably do it STEAM ENGINES pull trains STEWARDESSES do it in the air STRAGGLERS do it in the rear STRUCTURED PROGRAMMERS DO it OD STUDENTS are graded for their performance STUDENTS do it as exercises STUDENTS do it on a guaranteed loan STUDENTS do it with their students STUDENTS use their heads SUBMARINERS do it deeper SUBMARINERS use their torpedoes SUPERCOMPUTER USERS do it in parallel SURFERS do it in the tube. {26} SURFERS do it in waves SURFERS do it standing up SURFERS do it with their wives, or, if unmarried, with their girl friends SURGEONS GENERAL do it with their hand grippers SURGEONS are smooth operators SURGEONS do it incisively SWASHBUCKLERS do it with three feet of steel SWIMMERS do it in the water SWIMMERS do it under water SWIMMERS do it with a breast stroke SWIMMERS do it with better strokes SWINGING HACKERS move swapped SYSOPS do it with their computers SYSTEM HACKERS are always ready SYSTEM HACKERS get it up quicker SYSTEM HACKERS keep it up longer SYSTEM HACKERS know where to poke SYSTEM HACKERS swap on demand SYSTEM MANAGERS do it with pencils SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS keep it up longer SYSTEMS go down on their hackers SYSTEMS have black boxes Some PRINTERS blow bubbles while they're doing it Some PRINTERS do it quietly Some PRINTERS do it with lazers TAILORS come with no strings attached TAILORS make it fit TANKERS do it but leave tracks TANKERS do it with armour TANKERS do it with protection TAP DANCERS do it with their feet TAXI CAB DRIVERS come faster TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town TAXIDERMISTS mount anything TEACHERS do it 50 times after class TEACHERS do it every period TEACHERS do it infront of everyone TEACHERS do it repeatedly TEACHERS do it smartly TEACHERS do it with class TEACHERS do it with instruction TEACHERS make _you_ do it till you get it right TECHIES do it in the blackout (with power tools) {27} TECHNICIANS do it with frequency TECHNICIANS do it with greater frequency TECHNICIANS do it with high voltage probes TECHNICIANS do it with mechanical assistance TECHNICIANS test it first TEDDY BEARS do it at picknicks TEDDY BEARS do it with small children TEDDY ROOSEVELT did it softly, but with a big stick TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES do it in the sewer TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES do it with pizza TELEMARKETERS do it over, and over, and over ......... TELEMARKETERS never stop doing it TELEPHONE CO EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals TENNIS PLAYERS cannot play with balls all day long {28} TENNIS PLAYERS do it in sets TENNIS PLAYERS do it in their shorts TENNIS PLAYERS do it with Love! (refers to the scoring system Love-15-30-40) TENNIS PLAYERS do it with balls TENNIS PLAYERS (or jugglers) do it with colored balls TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls TEST MAKERS do it sometimes/always/never TESTATORS do it willingly TESTERS do it over and over TEXANS do it with oil THE AIR FORCE does it and aims high THE AIR FORCE does it... ...after coffee THE AIR FORCE, aims high, shoots low THE AIRBORNE 'chute their loads THE AIRBORNE does it from above THE ARMY does it more before breakfast than most people do all day THE ARMY does it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year THE ARMY does it being all that they can be THE ARMY does it with brute force THE ARTILLERY does it with 155mm guns THE ARTILLERY shoots bigger loads THE BLIND do it with feeling THE CAVALERY does it with charge THE DEAF do it with a sign THE ENERGIZER BUNNY does it and keeps going and going, and going, and going THE FBI does it under cover THE INFANTRY does it cam'ed THE INFANTRY does it in fox-holes THE INFANTRY does it on the attack THE NAVY does it in waves THEATER MAJORS do it with an audience THEATER TECHIES do it in the dark, on cue THEORETICAL ASTRONOMERS only *think* about it THEORETICIANS do it conceptually THEORETICIANS do it with a proof {29} THIEVES do it in leather THIEVES do it when you're not looking THIEVES do it with tools TONYA HARDING does it with a baton TOPOLOGISTS do in on rubber sheets TRAINEES do it as practice TRAMPOLINE ACROBATS do it in the air TRAMPOLINE ACROBATS do it over a net TRAMPOLINE ACROBATS do it swinging from bars TRAMPOLINE ACROBATS do it under the big top TRANSPORT supports it TRANSSEXUALS do it right eventually TRANSVESTITES do it dressed TREE MEN do it in more crotches than anyone else TRIBIOLOGICAL ENGINEERS do it by using lubricants TROI senses it first. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION TROMBONE PLAYERS are constantly sliding it in and out TROMBONE PLAYERS do it faster TROMBONE PLAYERS do it in 7 positions TROMBONE PLAYERS do it with slide action finger control TROMBONE PLAYERS do it with slide oil TROMBONE PLAYERS do it with their "F" attachment TROMBONE PLAYERS have something that's always long and hard TROMBONE PLAYERS slide it in and out TROMBONE PLAYERS use more positions TRUCK DRIVERS carry bigger loads TRUCK DRIVERS do it on the road TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks TRUCKERS carry bigger loads TRUCKERS have moving experiences TRUMP does it with cash TRUMPET PLAYERS blow hard TRUMPET PLAYERS blow the best TRUMPET PLAYERS can't do it! TRUMPET PLAYERS do it with tighter lips TUBA PLAYERS do it deeper TUBA PLAYERS do it with big horns TUBA PLAYERS have the biggest instruments TUBA PLAYERS usually do it on one and three TV EVANGALISTS do more than lay people TV REPAIRMEN do it in SYNC TV REPAIRMEN do it with a vertical hold TV REPAIRMEN do it with their tubes TWO METER OPERATORS do it with very high frequency TYPESETTERS do it between periods TYPISTS do it in triplicate TYPOGRAPHERS do it to the letter {30} TYPOGRAPHERS do it with tight kerning ULTIMATE PLAYERS do it horizontally UNDERTAKERS do it with corpses UNION EMPLOYEES do it with a quick strike UNION WORKERS do it with solidarity UNIX HACKERS go down all the time UNIX PROGRAMMERS must C her's UNIX don't do it UNIX PROGRAMMERS do it in the background UNIX PROGRAMMERS do it with (k)orn UNIX PROGRAMMERS do it with (c)-shells UNIX PROGRAMMERS do it with forks UPS EMPLOYEES do it overnight UROLOGISTS do it in a bottle USENET FREAKS do it with hard drives USENET NEWS FREAKS do it with many groups at once USHERS do it in the dark USHERS show you the way USURERS do it with high interests VACATIONERS do it in a leisure way VAGRANTS do it everywhere VALUERS really know the price VANGUARD do it ahead of everyone else VEGETARIANS don't do it with meat VENDORS try hard to sell it VERIFIERS check on it VERSIFIERS write poems for it VETERANS have much more experience than the fresh-handed VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers VETERINARIANS do it with animals VETERINARIANS do it with sick animals VICARS do it in church VICARS do it with amazing grace VICARS substitute others to VICE PRINCIPALS do it with discipline VICTIMS are those who got it VICTORS know how hard to win it VIEWERS do it with eyes VIGILANTES take it into their own hands VILIFIERS say others don't do it well VILLAGERS do it provincially VIOLINISTS do it gently VIOLINISTS do it with bows and strings VIOLINISTS prefer odd positions VIOLONCELLISTS do it low VIRGINS do it only once in their whole lifetime VIRGINS don't do it yet VIRGINS use it and lose it VIRTUOSI appreciate it VISA, its everywhere you want to be VISITORS come and see it VM PROGRAMMERS do it virtually all the time VM PROGRAMMERS do it virtualy all the time VM SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS do it three levels deep VM SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS do it with emulated devices VOCALISTS are good in their mouths VOLCANOLOGISTS erupt with a bang VOLCANOLOGISTS know how violent it can be VOLES dick through it VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up VOLUNTEERS do it in their spare time VOLUNTEERS do it willingly VOTARISTS decide to contribute themself VOTERS will decide who can do it VOYAGERS do it in between the sea and the sky VOYEURS like what they see VULCANS do it logically WAITERS and WAITRESSES do it for tips WAITRESSES do it with chopsticks WAITRESSES serve it piping hot WATER SKIERS come down harder WATER SKIERS do it with cuts WEATHERMEN do it with crystal balls WEATHERMEN do it with storm WEIGHTLIFTERS pump harder WELDERS do it with hot rods WELDERS fill all cracks WELDERS heat it up before it cuts WELFARE RECIPIENTS do it while everyone else pays for it WELL DIGGERS do it in a hole WESLEY saves it and saves it and saves it (yawn) STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION WINDSURFERS do it standing up WINDOZE NT PROGRAMMERS still can't do it WINDOWS USERS do it with mice WIZZO'S do it with jamming {31} WIZZO'S jam it faster, deeper, and more pwerfully WOODWIND PLAYERS have better tonguing WORF will fight you for it. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION WRESTLERS do it on mats WRESTLERS know the best holds WRESTLERS try not to do it on their backs WRITERS have novel ways WW I GIs did it over there X PROGRAMMERS do it with clients and servers X-RAY ASTRONOMERS do it with with high energy X-RAY TECHNICIANS see right through you XEROX does it again and again and again and again ZEN BUDDHISTS do it because they don't want to do it because they want to do it ZIPPERMAKERS do it on the fly ZIPPY does it on his lunch break ZOOLOGISTS do it with animals --------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTES ----- {01} (C)opyright Air Couriers International 1986 Vancouver, BC (apparently) {02} 25 in Europe, 30 in video {03} from the blonde joke list {04} The Blue Angels are the exhibition flying team for the US {05} Very Long Sexual Intercourse {06} the difference between CIVIL ENGINEERS and DITCH DIGERS is BS and about $40 per hour wages. {07} used for protection from death when falling {08} re:blood doners {09} For Springboard diving, the positions are Straight Pike (bend only at the waist), Tuck (curl up into a ball) and ??? {10} Submitter said: "I believe it has to do with when you use you fingers to mimic the rotation direction (i.e. fingers curved upwards), the resultant force is in the direction of the thumb. I'm not sure if this is correct. {11} There's some weird accent on one or both of the e's. fleche (pronounced flesh, of course) is a french word meaning "arrow" I believe. It is also the name of a running attack in fencing. {12} this was obviously written by an Italian {13} "Big Easy" -- Dennis Quaid {14} paparazzi are tabloid reporters who spy on celebrities {15} otc = over the counter, prn = as often as needed, sec. art. = according to his skill The last two abbreviations are from Latin. {16} It's a mortar & pestle reference, get it? {17} hint: Think of catalogues, products, SIZE {18} airplanes are flared on landing {19} This was the phrase used at the Quaker (Friends) school I attended to explain how one "knows" or "decides" to speak during Meeting - you speak when the Spirit moves you to - and it had been, of course, mutated into this joke. I don't know if that phrase is used by all Friends, or if it was local to my school and/or Quakerism teacher, so it may be too obscure to bother with. {20} qualitative research is mostly based on observation {21} or 6,10,12,15,17,20,30,40,75,80,160 {22} Reference to the fact that ray tracing takes so long that it's hard to get your picture completed on the machine of choice, so you go looking around for things like 286's and Crays to do it on :) {23} sequential relative work is one part of skydiving where a group of jumpers makes as many different formations as they can during freefall {24} a skydiver is said to "go in" if he/she hits the ground without deploying either parachute; when you consider the terminal velocity of the average human body (upwards of 120mph), this one is fairly obvious) {25} hearsay {26} reference to riding the barrel of a wave {27} A techie is a stage crew person i.e. lighting, etc... {28} too tired {29} double entendre {30} in any face {31} a wizzo is the right-seater in an EF-111A (short for Electronic Warfare Officer - EWO ). "Jamming" refers to Electronic CounterMeasures (ECM) radar jamming techniques. The EF-111A is the fastest ECM aircraft in the world with a top speed of Mach 2 and was used to protect the Air Force's strike aircraft in the raid on Libya in 1986. |
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