Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Just_Do_It_Jokes_J_to

JAMAICAN BOBSLEDDERS do it poorly, but they make movies about it anyway
JANITORS clean up afterwards
JANITORS do it with a plunger
JEDI KNIGHTS do it forcefully
JEFFREY DAHMER does it then eats it
JET SKIERS do it with more thrust
JEWELLERS mount real gems
JEWS worry about doing it
JOCKEYS do it at the gate
JOCKEYS do it on the horse-back
JOCKEYS do it with their horses
JOCKEYS do it with whips and saddles
JOGGERS do it on the run
JOURNALISTS do it write
JUDGES do it in chambers
JUDGES do it with better rulings
JUDGES watch it and give scores
JUGGLERS do it in a flash
JUGGLERS do it with more balls
JUGGLERS do it with their balls in the air
JURORS do it at her majesties pleasure (UK)
JURORS hand down their verdict
KAYAKERS do it rapidly, then roll over and do it again
KEYBOARDISTS use all their fingers
KEYBOARDISTS use both their hands on one organ
KORFBALL PLAYERS do it with the other sex
LAFORGE does it by impulse STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
LANDLORDS do it every month
LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper
LASER PRINTERS do it without making an impression
LAWYERS do it in their briefs
LAWYERS do it on a table
LAWYERS do it on a trial basis
LAWYERS do it to you
LAWYERS do it with appeal
LAWYERS do it with clause
LAWYERS do it with extensions in their briefs
LAWYERS do it, which is a great pity
LAWYERS lie about doing it and charge you for believing them
LAWYERS would do it but for 'hung jury'
LEFT HANDERS do it right
LIBRARIANS are novel lovers
LIBRARIANS check it out first
LIBRARIANS do it by the book
LIBRARIANS do it in multimedia
LIBRARIANS do it on the Reference Desk
LIBRARIANS do it on the shelfs / in stacks
LIBRARIANS do it online
LIBRARIANS do it quietly
LIBRARIANS do it with attribution
LIBRARIANS do it with pages (clerks)
LIBRARIANS do it with their computers
LIBRARIANS get it in catalogs
LIFEGUARDS carry aids.
LIFEGUARDS do it on the beach
LIFEGUARDS use slow, smooth hands
LIFEGUARDS use unique entries.
LINEMEN do it with big cables
LINEMEN pull their wires
LINGUISTS do it with their tongues
LIONS do it with pride
LISP (PROGRAMMERS (do (it (with (parentheses)))))
LISP HACKERS are thweet
LISP HACKERS do it in lambda functions
LISP HACKERS do it with rplacd
LISP PROGRAMMERS do it by recursion
LISP PROGRAMMERS do it without unexpected side effects
LISP PROGRAMMERS have to stop and collect garbage
LOADMASTER 'chute bigger loads
LOANS OFFICERS do it with security
LOCKSMITHS can get into anything
LOGIC PROGRAMMERS do it with unification/resolution
LOGICIANS do it consistently and completely
LOGICIANS do it or they do not do it
LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer
LONG JUMPERS do it with a running start
LONG-DISTANCE RUNNERS do it on a predetermined route
LOTS HACKERS do it sloooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy
LOUISIANANS do it differently {13}
MAC PROGRAMMERS do it in windows
MAC USERS can only do it with menus
MAC USERS do it with mice
MAC USERS don't do it, they just point and click on the genital icon
MACHINE CODERS do it in bytes
MACHINE LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS do it very fast
MACHINE LANGUAGE programmers do it with a monitor
MACHINE LANGUAGE programmers poke it all in
MACHINISTS do it with hardened tools
MACHINISTS do it with screw drivers
MACHINISTS drill often
MACHINISTS make the best screws
MAGES do it with their familiars
MAGIC USERS do it with flare
MAGIC USERS do it with their hands
MAGIC USERS have crystal balls
MAGIC USERS have magic wands
MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye
MAGICIANS do it with mirrors
MAGICIANS do it with rabbits
MAILMEN do it at the mail boxes
MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet
MALINGERERS do it as long as they can't get out of it
MANAGERS do it by delegation
MANAGERS have someone do it for them
MANAGERS make others do it
MANAGERS supervise others
MARATHON RUNNERS do it for hours
MARCHING BAND MEMBERS do it at camp
MARCHING BAND MEMBERS do it in patterns
MARCHING BAND MEMBERS do it on the field
MARCHING BAND MEMBERS do it with a leader
MARINES do it on land, sea or air
MARKETING REPs do it on comission
MARRIED PEOPLE do it with frozen access
MARTYRS die trying to do it
MASONS do it secretively
MASTURBATORS do it singlehandedly
MATCH MAKERS do it with singles
MATCH MAKERS do it with sticks
MATH MAJORS do it by example
MATH MAJORS do it by induction
MATH MAJORS do it with a pencil
MATHEMATICIANS do it as a finite sum of an infinite series
MATHEMATICIANS do it as continuous function
MATHEMATICIANS do it associatively
MATHEMATICIANS do it by the numbers
MATHEMATICIANS do it commutatively
MATHEMATICIANS do it constantly
MATHEMATICIANS do it continuously
MATHEMATICIANS do it discretely
MATHEMATICIANS do it exponentially
MATHEMATICIANS do it forever if they can do one and can do one more
MATHEMATICIANS do it functionally
MATHEMATICIANS do it homologically
MATHEMATICIANS do it in fields
MATHEMATICIANS do it in groups
MATHEMATICIANS do it in imaginary domain
MATHEMATICIANS do it in imaginary planes
MATHEMATICIANS do it in numbers
MATHEMATICIANS do it in theory
MATHEMATICIANS do it on smooth contours
MATHEMATICIANS do it over and under the curves
MATHEMATICIANS do it parallel and perpendicular
MATHEMATICIANS do it partially
MATHEMATICIANS do it rationally
MATHEMATICIANS do it reciprocally
MATHEMATICIANS do it reflexively
MATHEMATICIANS do it symmetrically
MATHEMATICIANS do it to prove themselves
MATHEMATICIANS do it to their limits
MATHEMATICIANS do it totally
MATHEMATICIANS do it transcendentally
MATHEMATICIANS do it transitively
MATHEMATICIANS do it variably
MATHEMATICIANS do it with Nobel's wife
MATHEMATICIANS do it with a Minkowski sausage
MATHEMATICIANS do it with imaginary parts
MATHEMATICIANS do it with linear pairs
MATHEMATICIANS do it with logs
MATHEMATICIANS do it with odd functions
MATHEMATICIANS do it with prime roots
MATHEMATICIANS do it with relations
MATHEMATICIANS do it with rings
MATHEMATICIANS do it with their real parts
MATHEMATICIANS do it without limit
MATHEMATICIANS do over an open unmeasurable interval
MATHEMATICIANS have to prove they did it
MATHEMATICIANS prove they did it
MATHEMATICIANS take it to the limit
MATHEMATICIANS work it out with a pencil
MBAs do it to learn
MDs only do it if you have appropriate insurance
MECHANICAL ENGINEERING MAJORS do it in gear
MECHANICAL ENGINEERS do it automatically
MECHANICAL ENGINEERS do it with fluid dynamics
MECHANICAL ENGINEERS do it with stress and strain
MECHANICS do it from underneath
MECHANICS do it on their backs
MECHANICS do it with oils
MECHANICS do it with Snap on Tools
MECHANICS do it with their tools
MECHANICS have to jack it up and then do it
MED TECHS do it 24 hours a day
MED TECHS do it on the bench
MED TECHS do it STAT
MED TECHS do it with machines
MED TECHS do it whenever doctors tell them to
MEDIA PEOPLE invade your privacy
MEDICAL RESEARCHERS do it with a mice
MEDICAL RESEARCHERS make mice do it first
MEDICS do it in an orderly fashion
MEDIEVALISTS do it with fake, fluffy weapons
MERCHANTS do it to customers
MERMAIDS can't do it
METALLURGISTS are screw'n edge
METALLURGISTS do it in the street
METEOROLOGISTS do it at all levels
METEOROLOGISTS do it unpredictably
METEOROLOGISTS do it with forecasts
METHODISTS do it by numbers
MICE do it every day, but sometimes need their balls cleaned
MICHAEL JACKSON does it to his nose
MICROBIOLOGISTS do it with culture
MILITARY TRUCKERS do it bigger, faster and further
MILITARY TRUCKERS move bigger loads
MILITARY cooks eat it
MILK DRINKERS do a body good
MILKMEN deliver twice a week
MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done
MILTON BERLE does it in his BVDs
MIMES do it without a sound
MIMES don't do it; everyone hates a mime
MINERS do it deeper than divers
MINERS sink deeper shafts
MINISTERS do it on Sundays
MINISTERS do it vicariously
MISSILE ENGINEERS do it in stages
MISSILEMEN have better thrust
MOBIUS STRIPPERS never show you their back side
MODELS do it beautifully
MODELS do it in any position
MODELS do it with all kinds of fancy dresses on
MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters
MOLECULAR BIOLOGISTS do it with hot probes
MONKS do it by hand
MOONIES do it within sects
MORTICIANS do it gravely
MOTHERS do it with their children
MOTORCYCLISTS do it between cars
MOTORCYCLISTS do it in leather
MOTORCYCLISTS do it in sidecars
MOTORCYCLISTS do it two-up
MOTORCYCLISTS do it while leaning
MOTORCYCLISTS do it with spread legs
MOTORCYCLISTS like it with chains
MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs
MOTORCYCLISTS need a sidestand
MOTOXERS do it in the dirt
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS do it on the rocks
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS do it till they drop
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS do it with ropes
MOVIE STARS do it on film
MUDDERS do it over the InterNet
MULTITASKERS do it everywhere: concurrently
MUSIC HACKERS do it at 3 am
MUSIC HACKERS do it audibly
MUSIC HACKERS do it in concert
MUSIC HACKERS do it in scores
MUSIC HACKERS do it with more movements
MUSIC HACKERS do it with their organs
MUSIC HACKERS want to do it in realtime
MUSIC MAJORS do it in a chord
MUSICIANS do it in the practice room
MUSICIANS do it on a higher scale
MUSICIANS do it rhythmically
MUSICIANS do it with rhythm
MUSICIANS duet
MUSICIANS know how to blow
MVS PROGRAMMERS would do it, if RACF would let them
NATIVE AMAZONIANS do it with poison tips down along narrow tubes -
- from an amazing distance
NATIVE AMERICANS do it with reservations
NAVIGATORS can show you the way
NECROPHILIACS do it cryptically
NECROPHILIACS do it until they are dead tired
NERDS do it in Rot13
NERDS do it with pocket protectors
NETWORK ENGINEERS do it under desks
NETWORK HACKERS know how to communicate
NETWORK MANAGERS do it in many places at once
NEW USERS do it after reading the helpfile
NEW USERS do it after receiving advice
NEW YORKERS do it in a jam
NEWSPAPER BOYS do it in front of every door
NIKE just does it
NIXON did it trickily
NON-SMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing
NOVICES do it with instructions
NUCLEAR ENGINEERS do it hotter than anything else
NUKES do it with more power
NUMBER THEORISTS do it "69"
NUNS do it out of habit
NURSES call the shots
NURSES do it painless
NURSES do it with TLC
NURSES do it with care
NURSES do it with intensive care
NURSES have a good bedside manner
OARSMEN stroke till it hurts
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PEOPLE do it habitually
OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under
OCEANOGRAPHERS explore uncharted depths
OIL REFINERS do it crudely
OPERATIONS does it with precise execution
OPERATOR does it automatically
OPERATOR does it in the CTY
OPERATORS do it person-to-person
OPERATORS mount everything
OPERATORS push the right buttons
OPERATORS really know how to mount it
OPTIMISTS do it without a doubt
OPTOMETRISTS do it eyeball-to-eyeball, since they always see eye-to-eye
OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face
ORGANISTS do it with both hands and both feet
ORGANISTS pull out all the stops and do it with their feet
ORIENTEERS do it in the woods
ORIENTEERS would do it, if they knew where they were
ORNITHOLOGISTS do the bird
ORTHODONTISTS do it with braces
ORTHOPEDISTS do it till it breaks
OS PEOPLE would do it if only they didn't 'deadlock'
OS/2 SMP USERS can do it with multiple engines
OS/2 USERS can do it in parallel
OS/2 USERS can do it in two places at the same time
OSHA INSPECTORS do it safely
OSTEOPATHS do it until you feel no pain
PACIFIC NORTHWEST hackers do it with n loggin' sorts
PACIFISTS do it non-violently
PADRES preach it
PAGANS do it naturally
PAGANS do it with Mother Earth
PAINTERS do it out in the field with brightly coloured sticky substances
PAINTERS do it with longer strokes
PALADINS do it good or not at all
PALADINS don't do it
PANTOMIMISTS do it silently
PAPARAZZI do it to the rich and famous {14}
PARAMEDICS can revive anything
PARATROOPERS do it by vertical insertion
PARTICLE PHYSICISTS do it energetically
PARTICLE PHYSICISTS to it with *charm*
PASCAL PROGRAMMERS REPEAT it
PASCAL PROGRAMMERS do it for an educational experience
PASCAL USERS do it with runtime support
PASTORS do it with SPIRIT
PATHOLOGISTS do it with corpses
PATIENTS do it in bed, sometimes with great pain
PAVLOV did it with drooling dogs
PEDIATRICIANS do it with children
PEDOPHILES do it on their knees
PERCUSSIONISTS beat off
PERFECTIONISTS do it better
PERVERTED HACKERS do it with POPs
PESSIMISTS can't do it
PESSIMISTS do it with a sigh
PESSIMISTS do think they'll enjoy it
PHARMACISTS do it otc, prn, sec. art {15}
PHARMACISTS do it with drugs
PHARMACISTS do it with side effects
PHARMACISTS do it with a grinding motion {16}
PHARMACOLOGISTS do it by prescription
PHARMACOLOGISTS do it via the oral route
PHARMACOLOGISTS do it with affinity
PHILOSOPHERS do it for pure reasons
PHILOSOPHERS do it in their minds
PHILOSOPHERS do it with their minds
PHILOSOPHERS go deep
PHILOSOPHERS think about doing it
PHILOSOPHERS think they do it
PHILOSOPHERS wonder why they did it
PHONE OPERATORS let their fingers do the walking
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it at 68 degrees or not at all
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it fisheyed
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it in synch
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it in the dark
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it while exposing
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with "Enlargers" {17}
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a zoom
PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with their subjects
PHOTOTHERAPISTS do it with the lights on
PHYSICAL THERAPISTS do it until it hurts
PHYSICAL THERAPISTS work your muscles
PHYSICISTS do it a quantum at a time
PHYSICISTS do it at the speed of light
PHYSICISTS do it at two places in the universe at one time
PHYSICISTS do it attractively
PHYSICISTS do it energetically
PHYSICISTS do it in 4 dimensions
PHYSICISTS do it in black holes
PHYSICISTS do it in waves
PHYSICISTS do it like Einstein
PHYSICISTS do it magnetically
PHYSICISTS do it on accelerated frames
PHYSICISTS do it particularly
PHYSICISTS do it repulsively
PHYSICISTS do it strangely
PHYSICISTS do it with Charm
PHYSICISTS do it with Tensors
PHYSICISTS do it with black bodies
PHYSICISTS do it with frequency until it Hertz
PHYSICISTS do it with large expensive machinery
PHYSICISTS do it with rigid bodies
PHYSICISTS do it with the help of an absolute Bohr
PHYSICISTS do it with their vectors
PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion
PHYSICISTS get a big bang
PHYSICS MAJORS do it at the speed of light
PIANO PLAYERS have faster fingers
PIANO STUDENTS learn on their teachers' instruments
PICARD does with by command. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
PICASSO would have done it with square balls
PILOTS do it higher
PILOTS do it in the cockpit
PILOTS do it on the wing
PILOTS do it to get high
PILOTS do it with flare {18}
PILOTS keep it up longer
PILOTS stay up longer
PING-PONG PLAYERS always smash balls
PING-PONG PLAYERS do it with paddles
PIPEFITTERS do it snugly
PIRATES do it with stumps
PIZZA DELIVERY BOYS come in 30 minutes, or it's free
PLASMA PHYSICISTS do it with everything stripped off
PLASTERERS to it hard
PLAYERS do it in a team
PLUMBERS do it under the sink
PLUMBERS do it with plumber's friends
PLUS PROGRAMMERS cycle forever, until you make them exit
PODIATRISTS do it with someone else's feet
POKER PLAYERS do it with a full house
POKER PLAYERS do it with a royal flush
POKER PLAYERS do it with their own hand
POKER PLAYERS do it with two pair
POLAROID does it in one step
POLAROID does it in seconds
POLE VAULTERS do it with long flexible instruments
POLICEMEN come when you dial 911
POLICEMEN like big busts
POLICEMEN never cop out
POLITICIANS bicker about it
POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-elected
POLITICIANS do it to everyone
POLITICIANS do it to make the headlines
POLITICIANS do it, but they stay in too long and make you pay for it afterwards
POLYMER CHEMISTS do it in chains
POOL CLEANERS do it wet
POPES do it in the woods
POPEYE did it with Oyl
PORCUPINES do it ... very, very carefully
POST OFFICE WORKERS do it overnight, guaranteed for $8.90
POSTMEN are first class males
POSTMEN come slower
POSTMEN fill lots of boxes
PRESBYTERIANS do it decently and in order
PREVARICATORS do it with tall tales
PRINCE CHARLES does it in succession
PRINTERS do it with pins
PRINTERS do it with ribons
PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets
PRINTERS reproduce the fastest
PRISONERS do it with balls and chains
PROBATE LAWYERS do it willingly
PROCRASTINATORS do it later
PROCRASTINATORS will do it tomorrow
PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end
PROCTOLOGISTS do it with a finger up where the sun don't shine
PROFESSORS do it by the book
PROFESSORS do it from a grant
PROFESSORS do it with class
PROFESSORS don't do it; they leave it as an exercise for their students
PROFESSORS forget to do it
PROGRAMMERS 6502 it do their with bytes reversed
PROGRAMMERS cycle forever, until you make them exit
PROGRAMMERS do it all night
PROGRAMMERS do it bottom-up
PROGRAMMERS do it by pushing and popping
PROGRAMMERS do it in higher levels
PROGRAMMERS do it in loops
PROGRAMMERS do it in microseconds
PROGRAMMERS do it in software
PROGRAMMERS do it on command
PROGRAMMERS do it top down
PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs
PROGRAMMERS do it with disks
PROGRAMMERS give it a top down design
PROGRAMMERS have bigger disks
PROGRAMMERS peek before they poke
PROGRAMMERS repeat it until done
PROGRAMMERS will do it all night, but only if you are debugged
PROJECT MANAGERS do it on schedule
PROLOG PROGRAMMERS are a cut above the rest
PROLOG PROGRAMMERS do it arse about face (logic in prolog is back to front)
PROMISCUOUS HACKERS share resources
PROSTITUTES do it at illegal addresses
PROSTITUTES do it for profit
PROTESTANTS do it unwillingly
PSYCHIATRISTS do it for at least fifty dollars per session
PSYCHIATRISTS do it on the couch
PSYCHOLOGISTS do it with rats
PSYCHOLOGISTS think they do it
PUBLIC SPEAKERS do it on a soap box
PUBLIC SPEAKERS do it orally
PURE MATHEMATICIANS do it rigorously
PYROTECHNICIANS do it with flare
PYROTECHNICIANS experts do it with a blinding flash
QUAKERS do it as the spirit moves them {19}
QUAKERS do it quietly
QUALITATIVE RESEARCHERS know what they're looking for {20}
QUANTUM MECHANICS do it in leaps
QUANTUM PHYSICIST do it on time
QUANTUM THEORISTS are uncertain whether they do it or not -
- but statistically it is possible

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Page Updated Sat Jun 5, 1999 9:48pm EDT