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| "Uncle Ted" A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noisescoming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy SLAMS the phone down, and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, here is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You b#@%$#@!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?" ___________________________________________ What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam!" *** What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. *** What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses. *** What do you call 4 bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko. *** What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. *** What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. *** What has 4 legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you? A pool table. *** What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They're trying to get away from the noise. *** What do you get when you cross a pit-bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help . . . after it bites your leg off. *** What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. _________________________________________________ Please give me your vote by clicking the upper left corner of any page. Thank you! |
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