The Fireman
A fireman was at the station house working outside on
the fire truck when he noticed a little boy next door.
The boy was in a little red wagon with small ladders
hung off the side.
He was wearing a fireman's hat and had the wagon
tied to a dog.
"Hey, little boy," he called out. "What are you doing?"
The little boy said, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and
this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walked over to take a closer look. "Say, that
sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman commented.
"Thanks mister," the boy said.
The fireman looked a little closer and noticed that the l
ittle boy had tied his dog to the wagon by its testicles.
"I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if
you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think
you could go faster."
"You're probably right, mister," the little boy replied,
"But then I wouldn't have a siren!"
COMPLIMENTS OF FRANVAN68!
***
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID:
You can live without sex but not
without glasses.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in,
no matter who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your arms are almost too short to read
the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay
home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of
gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's
operations.
You consider coffee one of the most
important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask,
"Did I wake you ?"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere
near the top of your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black sockswith sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're
referring to some one's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about
pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don't
even realize it.
People always honk when you drive down
the road.
You leave the refrigerator door open.
Overnight.
Your haidresser refers to you as "Maam".
Your barber calls you, "Sir" and adds
little "finishing touches" to your day
in the chair. Special little things
like, trimming your eyebrows and hair
in your ears.
***
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