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| "Going Fishing" One day, a young man goes to apply for a sales job at a major department store. He tells the sales manager that he doesn't really have any experience, but he is willing to try his hardest to learn. The manager likes his attitude and decides to give the guy a chance. At the close of business the next day, the sales manager decides to stop in to see how the kid is doing. He asks, "How many sales did you have today?" "One.", replied the young man. "How come only one," asks the manager. "Most of my salesman have 20-30 a day! How much was the one sale you made?" The salesman answers, "$333,344.00" "WHAT!?! What did you sell?" "Well, a guy wanted a small fishing hook, so I sold him a medium fishing hook, then I sold him a large fishing hook. Then he needed a rod, so I sold a light action rod, the upgrade to a medium action rod, and then changed it to a fully balanced combo. Then I told him he was going to need a boat, so I took him to the boating department and sold him a 14-foot motor boat, then upgraded him to a 20-foot cabin cruiser. Then I told him that his Volkswagen wouldn't be able to tow the boat, so I took him to the car department and sold him a sport utility vehicle." "A guy came in for a fishing hook and you managed to sell him all of that?", asked the manager. "No, he came in for a box of tampons, and I said 'Hell, your weekend is shot anyway, why not do some fishing?' " ________________________________________________ "The Face Lift" A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience She sees God and ask if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc, etc, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years?" God replies, "I didn't recognize you. |
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