"Going Fishing"
One day, a young man goes to apply
for a sales job at a major department
store. He tells the sales manager that
he doesn't really have any experience,
but he is willing to try his hardest to
learn. The manager likes his attitude
and decides to give the guy a chance.
At the close of business the next day,
the sales manager decides to stop in
to see how the kid is doing.
He asks, "How many sales did you
have today?"
"One.", replied the young man.
"How come only one," asks the
manager. "Most of my salesman have
20-30 a day! How much was the one
sale you made?"
The salesman answers, "$333,344.00"
"WHAT!?! What did you sell?"
"Well, a guy wanted a small fishing hook,
so I sold him a medium fishing hook, then
I sold him a large fishing hook. Then he
needed a rod, so I sold a light action rod,
the upgrade to a medium action rod, and
then changed it to a fully balanced combo.
Then I told him he was going to need a boat,
so I took him to the boating department and
sold him a 14-foot motor boat, then upgraded
him to a 20-foot cabin cruiser. Then I told him
that his Volkswagen wouldn't be able to tow
the boat, so I took him to the car department
and sold him a sport utility vehicle."
"A guy came in for a fishing hook and you
managed to sell him all of that?", asked
the manager.
"No, he came in for a box of tampons, and I
said 'Hell, your weekend is shot anyway,
why not do some fishing?' "
________________________________________________
"The Face Lift"
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken
to the hospital. While on the operating table she
has a near death experience. During that experience
She sees God and ask if this is it. God says no and
explains that she has another 30 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the
hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast
augmentation, tummy tuck, etc, etc, etc. She even
has someone come in and change her hair color.
She figures since she's got another 30 years she
might as well make the most of it. She walks out
of the hospital after the last operation and is
killed by an ambulance speeding up to the
hospital.
She arrives in front of God and complains:
"I thought you said I had another 30 years?"
God replies, "I didn't recognize you. |