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| Dearest Dad,
There were so many things I wanted to
say to you, so many things left undone;
so much left to explore together. As I
sit here alone now, I can hardly believe
you are gone. I wasn't ready for you to
die! I had no time to say good-bye, to
embrace you one last time; to see the
smile that lit up my heart and made my
spirit soar...just one last time, Dad.
I wasn't ready to let go and now I have
no choice, for death has closed your
eyes forever and heaven has claimed you.
I sit all alone with my tears, my soul
lashed in agony and lost in grief so
tremendous as
I write of my thoughts, my feelings,
and my golden memories...trying to
bridge this unfathomable gap between
you and I.
I recall, as a child, standing at
your feet, trying to see all the way
up to your face. You were a giant.
As I grew older that "giant" status
changed from your physical stature
to your many admirable attributes.
I never told you, Dad, but the song
I wrote, "Giant Of A Man", was
inspired by knowledge of, and my
feelings for, you. You liked the
song so much, I wish I had told you
while you were here.
There were many times during my
growing up years when I felt lost
alone, and afraid. Times when I
desperately needed help but there
was none to be found. Like the
time when I was 5 and Mom lay
dying in a hospital far away...
how alone you were then, Dad.
With no friends or family in that
new place we had moved to, we
3 children were left alone when
you went off to work or to visit
Mom. And all those other times
when tragedy struck my life, when
the problems and responsibilities
seemed so big and I seemed so small
I would go into your closet, close
the door and stand in your shoes.
The sense of your presence would
wash over me, filling me up with
feelings of well-being and strength
as I wondered what you would do if
you were "here". You never failed
me, the answers I needed always came
in one form or another. Oh, Dad, what
I would give for a pair of your shoes
tonight!
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