Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/starfire7s/A_FEW

SOME FUNNIES

I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card
into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she
was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
***

I worked with an individual who plugged his power
strip back into itself and for the life of him could not
understand why his computer would not turn on.
***

1st Person: "Do you know anything about this
fax-machine?"

2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"

1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient
called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet
and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same
thing happened."

2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"

1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I
didn't want anyone else to read it by accident,
so I folded it so only the recipient would open it
and read it."
***

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery for this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it
and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied,

"Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries...it's along walk."
***

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
***

Several years ago we had an intern who was none
too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," she told him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photo copier and proceeded
to make five blank copies.
***

One of our servers crashed. I was watching our
new system administrator trying to restore it.
He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name
to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and
paused, asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?"
I asked what he was talking about.

"You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
exclamation mark. "I replied, "You mean the letter ' i '?"
He said, "Yeah, that's it!"
***

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of
the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole
thing generally looked like an extra in Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me
that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in
the back to make a sandwich.
***

Mark Twain: "When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

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Page Updated Fri Feb 19, 1999 12:04am EST