Winners In Most Embarrassing Moments Contest - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/starfire7s/3_FUNNY

The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moment Contest in the "New Woman Magazine".
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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler

decided to Release some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after

receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other

patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving

"right now", she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a

voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right

now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's

pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after

this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped

what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my

dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter

in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed

behind me were screams of laughter...

Amy Richardson; Stafford,Virginia
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It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was

living at home, but my parents had gone out for the

evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic

night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we

heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my

girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.

Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have

time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the

stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd

of people yelled, "SURPRISE !!!" My entire family,

aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends

were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in

a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like

an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has

planned a surprise party again ...

Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York
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One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories

I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who

picked up several items at a discount store. When she

finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of

her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment

when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for

all the store to hear, PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,

TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody

at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the

word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone,

a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT

THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU

POUND IN WITH A HAMMER???"

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A LITTLE BOY AND HIS TEACHER:

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of

the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch

and not paying attention. She went back to find out

what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and

whispered that he had just recently been circumcised

and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go

down to the principal's office, he was to phone his

mother, and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and he returned to the classroom, where he

sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion

at the back of the room. She went back to investigate

only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis

hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom."

she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that

if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick

me up from school ..."

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ooops! four funny stories lol

Subject: The Good, Bad & Worse

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse: So is your husband.

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.

Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47.
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year.

Good: You came home for a quickie with your wife.
Bad: The postman had the same idea.
Worse: You're 5th in line.

What's the difference between a girlfriend
and a wife? 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend
and a husband? 45 minutes

What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

Starfire7s@aol.com

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Page Updated Sun Feb 7, 1999 4:48am EST