Jess - the best! - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/spudworld/Jessica

JESSICA'S TOP TEN ADVICE COLUMN FOR THE FUTURE

1. Meet as many people as you can stand.
2. Watch old reruns of "Saturday Night Live" with Chris Farley and Adam Sandler.
3. Get married and have me as the ring bearer and have another friend be the flower girl.
4. Have kids but not too many otherwise your butt will be bigger than all the chairs you own. And you'll look like Roseanne.
5. Listen to some things your parents tell you but listen to whatever I say.
6. Sugar Ray is the best group. N'SYNC is okay but only because Justin is really hot!
7. Don't watch really scary movies. Watch R rated they are the best.
8. The Atlanta Braves are the best baseball team. Cause you ahve Ryan Klesko, Greg Maddux, John Rocker, and the best CHIPPER JONES. HOT!
9. Watch HBO's original series "Sex and the City" it's the best. And watch "Friends" and "ER" I love them all very much.
10. Most important follow your dreams and don't let anyone get in your way if they do push them off it!

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

SINCERELY,

JESS
(THE BEST)

P.S. BIG DADDY IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!
P.P.S. IT'S NOT THE SIZE OF THE SHIP IT'S THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN!

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JESSICA'S TOP TEN THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A MAN AND TOP TEN THINGS TO AVOID IN A MAN.

FIRST WHAT TO AVOID
1. A man with the same or more tattoos than Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. Go for less than 10!
2. A man who is married big mistake even bigger if he has kids.
3. A 20 year old bald man that is just gross.
4. A man younger than you. It may be fun for awhile just ask my ex-aunt. But no.
5. A man who's 20 years older than you unless he is filthy rich. 19 years older or less. Look at me and CHIPPER it's only 13 years so were okay.
6. A man who watches professional wrestling only date if pan on marrying ask my aunt Julie.
7. A man who's favorite sport is bowling or golf. Perfect if it's baseball or football.
8. A man who drives a tiny red sports car. Probably wouldlove his car more than you. And has a size problem if you know what I mean ask my cousin Steve!
9. A man who still lives withhis mother and he's over the age of 25. He has problems.
10. A man who's been to jail more times than Christian Slater, Robert Downey Jr., or Charlie Sheen even if he's cute beware.

NOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A MAN
1. A man who makes more money than you.
2. A man who will let you do things with your friends and he likes them to especiall me.
3. A man who likes animals and isn't afraid to show it.
4. A man who will cry at a sad movie but if he cries and it isn't sad then he's like me.
5. A man who has hobbies that you also enjoy. Like me and CHIPPER he likes baseball I like baseball match made in heaven.
6. A man who doesn't have anything pierced below trhe waist. One earring okay. One tattoo okay.
7. A man who shares the remote control.
8. A man who is a little bit older but isn't afraid to party with you and your friends.
9. A man who is tough but isn't all muscle cause that's just sick!
10. A man who is smart enough to know that women rule the world and can't be taken over by boyish good looks and a firm body pulus other stuff like 1-9 up above. Keep control of what you know is yours...

HIM!!!!

PLEASE USE MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE WISELY!

Sincerely,
JESSICA TEAL JOHNSON
(Married name unknown for now)

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Page Updated Thu Mar 30, 2000 9:59am EST