Spoons 7 - By Max Mendelsohn - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/spoons/Spoons

My name is Sam. I am a Spoon, and you aren’t!!! Let me put my life in a nutshell; shall
we? My planet was destroyed, and the Forks took me to theirs. I got thebook. I got an
army. I got tactics. I got space ships. I got milk. But I don’t got revenge. Revenge on the
Sinister Shape. Revenge for destroying Spoon World.
I was on my way to the planet Zornale Cordex 4 with my newly acquired space crafts.
My mindless drones and I, I mean my faithful army of Sporks tried to persuade the Forks
to come, but sadly they declined. 3...2...1... We were off into the sky of Iskabible, leaving
the sights and smells of everyone behind. The other Zornale Cordexes were somehow
destroyed in a power surge, but I have reason to believe otherwise; however that is not a
story for today.
Finally, we made it to Zornale Cordex 4. When we got there, the Sporks’ ships slowed
out of fear. They saw it first with their superior vision, then I saw an unmistakable shape,
an evil shape. Not just evil sinister. This was the Sinister Shape. It stood for all the evil
in the universe. Well not all the evil in the universe, there are still lawyers, but you get the
idea. The Shape spoke to me for the second time.
“No, he didn’t,”

"Nice to see you too," I thought but didn’t say, last time I said something sarcastic he
destroyed my planet, so I said, “What are you any way?”

“Not even you?”

“Oh well, are we going to battle?”

So then we battled. I used the tactics that the Chopsticks gave me. They worked
perfectly. I tried something that wasn’t written, and it worked. Then I tried it again, and a
large part of my army was destroyed. After that near catastrophe, the knives (Who don't
deserve to be capitalized) came in. We used the tactics that were written. It seemed that
we needed to destroy the ship in the middle that was the most protected. I went in. Then,
Boom!!! We were basted. My ship was going down. When you don’t know what to do,
start hitting buttons. I hit some button that made a ZAP!! noise, so I did it again. It didn’t
do anything, but it was fun. Then a different noise... ZIP!! Before I knew it, I was in the
main ship of the knives.
There was a knife, a large knife. I whipped out my light saber and so did he. I’m not
actually sure if it was a boy or girl, and actually I didn't want to. He/she took out their
light saber.
He/she said, “Mine's longer,”
I said, “Mine's rounder,”
“Mine's redder,”
“Mine's browner,”
After that, we started to battle. It was a mean battle, a battle of pure hatred. Not that
distilled hated (I hate that [Kind of like water, if it's brown wouldn't you rather have full
brown instead of see through brown.].) . I had fun. In the middle of the battle, I heard,
“Forks coming in fast,” come out of the PA system.
Finally, they decided to come; at least they came in fast. I was winning the battle, then I
got him down. He/she said, “Sam, I am your father/mother.”
“No, you aren't.”
“So what?”
Then I killed him. I watched him fall. He fell into the engine, then he got stuck in the
cylinder. The engine stopped and blew up. I flew back to another ship. The rest of the
knives blew up. All that was left was the Sinister Shape. I killed it. With help of the
Forks. And the Sporks. That's it the whole story. But Shakespeare once said something
about no ends or something like that.
When we killed the Sinister Shape, the Forks pardyed and poarded and pareded(Exuse
my spelling I was just remembering some fond memories of the pardy). It was the most
fun I have ever had. I don’t know how long the pardy was, but near the end I knew four
generations had passed.

THE END
for now

June 2000

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Page Updated Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:49pm EDT