Spoons6 - By Max Mendelsohn - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/spoons/Spoons

Time for a quick intro. My name is Sam Spoon. I am a Spoon. There are no Spoons left
in the galaxy, except me. I'm living on a planet of Forks. I have a vast army of Sporks that
do my every bidding. I live in an extremely large cave with my vast army. All was normal
until one day. This day was originally going to be a holiday but no this had to happen. Oh,
I guess your wondering what "this" is, well I'll tell you. The ground started to shake and a
hole appeared. Out of the hole popped out two long narrow things. They both talked in a
strange unison. They both said, "We are Chopsticks"
I was dumbfounded; I mean there were these sticks that said they were Chopsticks.
They came out of the ground for crying out loud. The Sporks were about to kill it like
most things that come out of the ground. I stopped them with a flick of my hand. I kept
my cool and said "Hello Chopsticks I am Sam, the Spoon and these are my Sporks."
The Chopsticks were kind of afraid but they understood. One came up to me and said
"Hello Sam my name is also Sam and this is Mas, my twin. We are all twins you know.
Are you nice?"
"Yes we're as nice as you get." I replied.
"Good" The Chopstick seemed content. They suddenly left out the hole they came in.
We expected them to come back in a week or so. Low and behold I was wrong yet again.
They came back in a minute or two. Mas said "Sorry I forgot my purse."
One of the Sporks handed it to him and he left again. Now it took him a month or two
to come back. When they did not only Sam and Mas came but also Quzal and Lazuq. I
knew their names because they had name tags. They handed me two pieces of paper and
left without a word. The titles on them were Forks and Spoons. There was a post-it note
on the paper. The note said: read yours then give the other to the leader of the Forks.
After I read mine I was amazed of all that could be written on one page. It started out
with some history. The Chopsticks were ancestors of Spoons and Forks. They also hate
the Knives. They are all very old, They are born 27 years old as old men and women.
Before the Knives were around they ran and frolicked through the grass. They were happy
until an abomination appeared. This abomination was a shape. The shape was quite
sinister actually. It was called (dramatic reverb) The Sinister Shape. No one really knows
what the Sinister Shape is but there is a lot of speculation. Some say he is a rotten potato
seeking revenge others think he is a tomato that kills. What they are sure of is that he left
a lot of Knives when he left. The Knives drove the Chopsticks out of their homes. Before
they were kicked out, the Chopsticks fought bravely. They could have won but, their
commanders died from a spaghetti stain on his right shoulder. Their tactics to beat the
Sinister Shape were written in the papers. Now I could finally win! I could beat the
knives and the Sinister Shape. All I needed were some space ships to do this. I read the
Fork's paper, there was a lot about Forking, so I thought that they would be interested in it.
I wanted their ships they wanted my paper. We staged a completely unfair trade and now I
have a nice fleet of intergalactic space ships. Now I can beat the Shape once and for all in

Spoons7: The Final Showdown

April 2000

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Page Updated Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:49pm EDT