Spoons 5 - By Max Mendelsohn - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/spoons/Spoons

Doesn't it feel funny that this is Spoons 5? So much for classics, this is a full-fledged
novel, well not really. It's more like a bunch of short stories put together to make a book-
type thing. Now all good series must have an intro word. Like Kenen and Kel say "Aww
here it goes". Now I need something. Oh I got it!!! No never mind I really need an intro
thingie any way. Now here's the deal I am a spoon. My name is Sam. My full name is Sam
Spoon. I am the only spoon left (see Spoon World.). The Forks brought me here, (Spoons
2) here being Iskabible. I have a really cool book that tells me anything I want to know
(Spoons 3). Now I have an army of Sporks that where cloned from Spoon and Fork DNA
(Can anyone see the pattern?). These Sporks have helped me build an underground city.
They worship me as a god. I have formed their religion, their food their clothes... right
down to their very well being. Then I had lunch. Nice looking intro if I do say so myself.
What should I tell you about? I have an idea but... I've got it, yea that's it:
The Spork files!!!!
Since I didn't really have much about Sporks in the rest of my stories so now is my
chance. The word Spork comes from, comes from? Hey, I don't know; they made up the
word. All Sporks are Sporkians but I call them Sporks. Ya know, I'll be really mad if
they die out in our next story. Well, anywho, I don't have a camera so you just have to
think of them in your mind's eye. Cross the shape of a spoon with the movement of a fork
and what do you get? A Spork. (The sentence 'A Spork' is a fragment.) I have a small sketch of one
on the back on this report. This isn't really a report it's more like a... Who cares what it is
as long as you're reading it.
Sporks were very strange when I first stumbled upon them. They only knew how to
hunt and reproduce. I found it funny that they had figured out how to contact me when the
species had only been around for of couple a hours. Interesting... When I first saw them
they seemed like the clay I can smoosh around in my toes, or something like that. I put
some structure into their dumbfounded lives; and made them like a big tool I can use to
open tight jars of pickles. So what I'm not very good at analogies.
A brief time line (3549B.S.-present hour)
Anyway on the hour of 3549 B.S. (Before Sam not bull ....) There where 2,347,452.5
Sporks. They had been created by a doctor named Hooomfolet. This doctor also cared for
me he was the one who gave me thebook. Yea well he spliced my jeans and got the
Sporks. He had high hopes for these Sporks. He thought they would worship him, but
they stormed out of the hospital before he could program them to do so. (No they are not
machines; sorry if you wanted them to be.) The hour was 1275B.S. They chose their
leader Kesaj. Kesaj was the fastest and the best. He learned all about me. Seeing that I
was the only Spoon around he figured I was "The One" whatever that is. From that hour
on there where the positive hours. These hours where called A.S. ( I hope
they didn't say After Sam Spoon.) Now in present hour 2000A.S.
Now if you didn't notice I've been rambling on for about a page and a half so now I'll
shut up. Bye. See ya. Chow. Auf Weidersein.
See if there is a plot in:
Spoons 6

March 2000

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

villageidiot2005@hotmail.com or maxtheman36@aol.com

Visitors: 00255

Page Updated Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:49pm EDT